


Sweet Sixteen

by Billywick, hisboywriter



Series: Young Avengers Roleplay Fiction [1]
Category: Marvel, Young Avengers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 11:49:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 86,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Billywick/pseuds/Billywick, https://archiveofourown.org/users/hisboywriter/pseuds/hisboywriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy Shepherd is the dubious new kid at school. Noh-Varr the outcast with a bad reputation that no one wants around. What happens when these two dysfunctional kids become friends and decide to tell the world 'screw you'? completely depowered AU, rp style, very strong themes of domestic abuse and all around terrible parenting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> again, an rp. I would add 'trigger warning' if anything, because we really put the two of them through hell.

Entering a new high school equated to a week, if not months, of social stigmatization.

Tommy didn’t give a crap about how others saw him, but everyone, even he, knew how much it sucked to be the new kid in school. Worse, he entered the hallways months into the school year, which meant he intruded on what cliques had already been established in the first weeks of school. Some would sneer at him, watch him as one would an exotic animal, maybe whisper things.

After all, when the new kid supposedly switched schools because he set fire to his old one, it got around.

Tommy braved through it as the principal, some woman who dressed more like she worked for Wall Street than a crummy high school, guided him to his second period. Tommy missed first, having had a long chat with the lady in too high heels.

Tommy flashed her a charming smile, and she narrowed one eye as if saying she had that eye on him at all times. Then, she abandoned him to the wild natives, and Tommy sighed before entering his class.

Biology. Not just any biology at this school. Where most classes segregated the class years apart, biology was one of the few that crammed a mixture of them together. Thomas was also a sophomore, a second year, which meant nothing cool at all. He wasn’t a freshmen, fresh and hopeful, nor was he an upper classman with notches in his belt.

He was awkward. That’s what it meant, and he had the swagger that said he didn’t plan to conform to any label.

The teacher glanced at him first, a man that looked like he taught science. “Ah, class,” he said in a feebly voice, “this is our new student. Thomas Shepherd, yes? Everyone, please be especially nice to him.”

Geez, thanks for making it more obvious he was new, Tommy thought.

The teacher smiled and gestured. “Why don’t you introduce yourself and tell us something about you.”

“Yeah, like if you really burned down your school,” one called out, and the class shared a round of chuckles and sniggering.

“Class,” the teacher said, doing nothing to calm them down with the oomph of his tiny voice.

Tommy shrugged, smirking. “Just call me Tommy,” was all he said.

God he couldn’t wait for lunch to sneak off campus.

School was not quite the torture now that it was almost over, but it still held too many significant similarities to a prison than he was comfortable with.

Noh-Varr was in his last year, an old pro by now, and specialized on being left the hell alone. He wasn’t the stereotypical loner, his good looks and physique paired with excellent academic skills made him a strikingly handsome sore thumb sticking up from the crowd.

However, his excellent work ethic and pure intelligence were mightily impaired by his attitude. A problem so convoluted and underlying that it had three school psychologists quit and experience midlife crises after a few conversations with the young man.

It wasn’t as if he set out to destroy their little minds or that he was particularly fucked in the head, but he did look at most things more...simply. Logically.

Something that was usually applied to Biology class, if it wasn’t being disrupted by the ugly noise of laughter, mocking laughter, all around him waking him up.

The new kid had white hair. That was just about the only thing that stood out to him as he stretched and raised himself from his glorious nap. 

“We’re actually starting a new unit, today, Thomas, so you came just in time.”

Whoopie. Tommy shifted his backpack on his shoulder and scanned the class with the quick eye he always utilized in such situations. Juvie habits didn’t shake off easily. Typical crowd here though. A couple of jocks, one which looked to be a permanent fixture of mean incarnate. 

Some of the girls liked what they saw, maybe even a couple of guys, but Tommy hardly cared beyond taking note who he could squeeze favors out of. That included a good roll in the sheets. That’s what high school existed for, anyway, finding a warm body.

His eyes landed on a guy with white hair like his own. Odd coincidence. Where Tommy lacked in bulk and height, this kid had it all. Intimidating suited him well as a descriptor. Those bright eyes raked over Tommy too, probably judging him and tossing him aside as just another loser or simpleton of the educational system.

As fate would have it...

“There’s a seat right next to Noh-Varr over there. He is one of our top students and can help you out with any questions. Do you have the book yet?”

“Erm, no,” Tommy said, internally groaning. Why couldn’t he sit next to a cute girl? It was too much to ask for a newbie, he figured.

“Well, Noh-Varr can share his. Go on ahead. Now, class, we’re opening with chapter five, discussing genes and how...”

Tommy drowned out the voice as most students could do, navigating through the stares until he reached the lab table Noh-Varr sat alone at. Providing a learned smile and nothing more, Tommy sagged into his seat, dumping his bag next to his feet.

Noh-Varr said nothing, didn’t give a groan about being saddled with the new kid for the period or anything at all. He didn’t much care for the curious looks, the whispers bound to start as their classmates began to look for anything and everything to mock this Tommy with. 

The smile the kid gave him was practiced and cold and he answered with the merest twitch of lips as he moved some of his stuff aside, back to his neat part of the table.

“Gene manipulation in agriculture,” he offered as a start to conversation, though it was a meager subject for anyone not intensely interested in the topic. 

“Riveting,” Tommy said, more interested in calculating what girls caught his fancy. Two were crazy hot, though one with smaller breasts, which he preferred in all honesty.

Memorizing their features and keeping ears open for their name, Tommy glanced at the book that housed all things dull and painstaking.

“I already learned all this in my last school,” he offered in a low voice. Already his foot tapped, his fingers drummed on the table. Who cared about studying genes. Most of these morons would forget it all the moment they step out.

Tommy fished out his schedule instead and slid it over to Noh, not at all acting on the unsettling prickle he got just by being near the brute. Tommy had noticed he had been the only one to hold back humor in his situation, not having once chuckled at the comments said about him. At the least, Tommy figured he could ask him where his next class was, and then confirm with one of the mentioned girls about it if he got his foot into the door at the right time.

“I got P.E. next in the gym,” he said, tapping the schedule. “Dunno where the locker room is though.”

Did he have an honour’s badge pinned to his forehead? Noh didn’t stoop to check, but he did notice with some ire that the teacher’s comment had probably lead to some conclusions in the new kid’s mind.

Nevertheless, he glanced at the schedule. He knew where all the classes were, of course he did, but that didn’t mean he had to confirm the rude request for help.

Instead, he let his eyes roam the new kid once more. He was definitely hot, that much could be confirmed without giving any thought to the mind behind the well-sculpted face and shaggy tresses of silver.

Tommy’s eyes were flitting over girls and his priorities were clear. Noh gave a small grunt, already losing what little patience he might provide the new meat with.

“Ask one of them,” he indicated the rest of the class, particularly the younger students, “I ain’t your classmate.”

Ass. Tommy scoffed and tugged back his schedule, refusing to admit he was taken aback at the guy’s candor. Should have figured he wanted nothing to do with the new guy. Fine.

“If everyone’s as nice as you, I’m in for a great day,” he muttered, stuffing his schedule back into his pocket. Great. He couldn’t get an angle at any of the girls either, the tables spread too far from one another. They might as well have been on their own island.

And he was stuck with this Noh-something for forty-five minutes.

Fuck, he was already going crazy.

Tommy knew he personified a case study in fidgeting, and maybe it attributed to why he couldn’t help but address the jerk to his left again.

“What’s got stuck up your ass that you can’t even tell someone where the lockers are?” Tommy snorted and flipped a page in the book he pretended to read. “More like you don’t know where they are at all, and you’ve been here, what? Six years?”

He was fidgeting. Tapping his foot, fingers twitching over paper in danger of being crumpled and Noh-Varr’s temple began throbbing. Great. So he got a mouthy brat to waste forty five minutes of his life with. A headache was written into his destiny.

“I know where they are. Doesn’t mean I have to play nice and tell you though, you look like you can take care of yourself, so why don’t you,” his hand flattened over the tapping fingers, frown burrowing across his brow, “stop that. It’s irritating as hell.”

Tommy tensed at the large hand suppressing his own. For a jerk, Noh had incredibly warm hands, hot almost. Weird that Tommy noted it right off the bat.

“I can’t help it,” he hissed under his breath, “I’m bored. And yeah, fine, I don’t need your help.”

Tommy yanked his hand back before a blush could consider sallying up his face, but they kept drumming at the edge of the table now. He stopped that and began picking at the frayed ends of a torn out notebook page.

Gym he looked forward to. Got to run, stretch his legs, not be confined to a desk or the company looped around it.

Forty-two minutes left.

Tommy’s eyes jumped from one table to the next, hoping to avoid Noh hovering in his peripheral vision. At one point he spotted the jock with his lab partner, caught said jock shoot him a look. Jesus, what were they in, a high school movie?

An idea swelled within Tommy’s bored-induced mind. He tore a piece of paper from the notebook he had been fingering. Mindful of eyes, and not caring for Noh’s response if he had any, he palmed his lighter. Under the lip of the table he scorched the paper until it went black. 

Then, with it smoldering, he flicked it straight across the table and cheered inside when it landed right at the guy’s nape, tumbling into his shirt. By the look of the jock, Tommy figured he had his fair share of stuffing nerds or outcasts against lockers, and a little heat could simmer his glares down.

Noh watched the antics out of the corner of his eye, all the while paying perfect attention to the mousy teacher at the front who probably thought teaching was a wonderful experience if his students actually noticed his existence.

Tommy’s behaviour was by far more interesting though, especially once the targeted boy gave a weird jiggle out of his chair at the feeling of something unpleasantly hot on his back.

Noh gave another little grunt, this one faint with amusement. So the kid had a sense of humour that would easily afford him either a place in the group of idiots who lived to make highschool hell for others, or he was too weird for even them and would be ostracised into a lonely position on the edge like Noh himself.

The jock whipped around, for all intent and purpose ready to murder whoever did the deed and his gaze fell to Tommy.

“You creepy little fucker, you’re gonna regret that!”

Tommy feigned innocence, shrugging when the teacher jolted at the disruption of his neat, tidy lesson. The jock oozed rage and promise of retribution from every pore, and when the teacher’s voice chimed in to inquire what had gone on, the jock could hardly form a coherent sentence.

“Listen,” Tommy interrupted, hands up in mock defense, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but maybe if you spent less time looking at me like you want me so badly, others wouldn’t bother you with stupid pranks like that.”

Part of the class, more than half Tommy was pleased to discover, laughed or hid their chuckles against their hands at that. Morons.

“Thomas, you saw who did it?” the teacher asked, gullible as he was scrawny. He tried waving down the class as if that would calm them down.

“Yeah, but I don’t rat out people, sorry,” Tommy said, shrugging a shoulder and providing the teacher with a face of guilt.

The man sighed, rubbing his brow. Clearly he had a disease against confrontation.

“Mark,” he told the jock, “sit down, and no one should be playing pranks. Understood?”

A half-hearted agreement filtered through the students. Tommy earned a vicious look, one that told him he wouldn’t be hearing or seeing Mark too late. Looked like he made a friend.

Well, least that killed five minutes.

It was an easy save, but Noh was not the type to be laughing or to garner any admiration for Tommy’s stunt. The kid had guts though, and that impressed slightly upon him. Maybe he would just show him where the lockers were.

He hadn’t made a good ‘friend’ in Mark though, a cruel and dumb, vindictive creature. The retribution for this would probably come right after the lesson and Noh-Varr was not going to miss it. He’d watch, see how the new kid handled himself, assess properly before Tommy too disappeared into the mass of the herd.

“He’s fond of black eyes,” he muttered, glancing over at Tommy, then back at the bunched shoulders Mark displayed, “If I had to guess, he’s fantasizing about pounding you right now. Not sure I care to know which way, exactly.”

Tommy hadn’t expected a response from Noh for the antic. For sure as hell he didn’t aim to please that guy by thwarting off a jock’s glare. Still, Tommy felt his chest puff our more than it typically did.

Though the comment on pounding suffused the apples of his cheeks with pink. Battling it away, Tommy cleared his throat and smirked at Noh.

“Probably a closet case,” he agreed. “Bet he nails girls with short hair and has them doggy style so he can pretend it’s a guy from behind.”

“I think the only girl he ever nailed was his sister, to be honest. I don’t think girls with standards low enough for that guy exist.”

Noh found the exchange a thin veil to discover a little more about this Tommy. His earlier statement would find time to validate itself, Noh was sure of it. Tommy had something...feral about him. Not the kind of strength measured in the size of muscles or the idiotic display of testosterone. 

No, Tommy had the strength, agility and behaviour of a street-rat so far. Someone who survived, cocky, arrogant, went his own way.

“He’s gonna go for you in the locker room. Do you need a rubber?”

Tommy could not resist sniggering at the comment, and had to pass it off as a sneeze or else gain more attention than necessary on one day. Something about the jerk’s humor melded well into Tommy’s. Crude, raw, the humor of a guy who had to find amusement in the most sordid places because his life was so full of crap that he had little alternatives.

Biting his lips to quell another fit, he glanced at Noh and whispered, “Don’t tell me. He’s on some team and he’s got it next period. I’m surprised if his team doesn’t all keep rubbers handy for him, maybe even got some baby oil or something ready?”

“Nah, he likes it dry and tight, or so I’ve heard. Of course he’s on a team, they always are. Basketball, actually. You know, not as popular as the football team, not as uncool as cricket.”

Noh found it easy to continue the conversation, Tommy didn’t shy from his crude humor which was always an excellent sign. He’d definitely show him to his locker at this rate. 

Tommy pressed the heel of his palm against his mouth to calm his smile. Though the image of him taken dry and in a locker room did little to assuage his discomfort with this Mark fellow, the mirth, however crude, in Noh’s statement tickled him the right way.

“To be honest, looking at him, I don’t think he’d know where to even stick it."

Not much else could be said after that, the teacher reaching the point of his lesson where he faced the class and executed futility in engaging them. Tommy shut his mouth smartly, the man up front none the wiser to their conversation. 

For the sake of scoring himself points to cash in later, Tommy supplied the poor fool a few answers. Mark didn't take it in stride, especially when Tommy 'helped' him out on an answer when the teacher called on the jock. 

Spirited by Noh's humor, Tommy found the remaining thirty minutes of this engaging tolerable, though he was the first to snatch his bag and get the hell on out of   
. 

Noh was giving off a vibe, one that prompted Tommy to say he would catch him later. If the guy wanted to show him to the boy's locker room, he didn't know of it. Mark busied Tommy by sizing him up and prowling outside the class. 

With a roll of his eyes, Tommy faced the obstacle. He tried walking out and around the brute, as if he had no issues with the jock, only for a hand to seize his shoulder. Mark would have shoved him against a locker were Tommy not a step ahead, quicker than the moron could imagine. 

A side step and tap to Mark's ankle and the guy stumbled forward, using his hand to brace himself against the lockers he had tried to employ to instill embarrassment in Tommy. 

"Sorry," Tommy said loud enough for nearby ears to pick up, "you got to buy me a couple of dinners before I let you get grabby."

Noh-Varr hadn’t intended to follow the kid, honestly. He was just going the same way by pure coincidence and yeah, alright, maybe he wanted to see how the whole jock vs new kid scenario played out this time.

But he would not interfere, not at all. 

Tommy’s retort earned a chuckle from him, but no more than that. 

After a few chuckles permeated the air and settled into the jock’s nerve the instant he heard them, Tommy flashed a smirk and waved him off. From the corner of his eye he saw the jock come at him, then pause as a teacher crossed through the hallway.

Seemed Mark had an interest in staying in good standing with the school, at least for now. At most he shot Tommy a look that promised retribution when no teacher could spare him, but the new kid merely shrugged it off. What did he care?

Turned out he cared enough to pause in his steps, going the opposite direction of the jock, when he noticed Noh-Varr still hanging around.

“Well, I’m hoping the way he’s going isn’t the locker room,” he said.

“Of course it is,” Noh-Varr straightened up from his position of leaning against the nearest wall in a pose of casual disinterest. He’d been observing careful though in contrast to the lack of care he demonstrated towards this entire situation. The new kid had spine and smarts, a combination of attributes he could definitely appreciated. It wouldn’t have surprised him if Tommy had done time or spent some of his life on the streets. 

“Between you and me, I’d skip gym class. It’s a waste of time anyway, unless you appreciate playing football for a double period.”

Tommy shouldered his backpack again from where it had slipped as he mulled over the idea. He liked P.E. if it meant running around on the track, but if they were bullied into playing something, why bother? He figured he could get away with it too, explaining that the principal had been showing him around or some other similar excuse.

“Yeah, sounds like it blows anyway,” he told Noh-Varr. “Though now I gotta figure out where a guy goes when skipping class without getting caught.”

Well, he’d opened this can of worms, now he had to stick his hand in it. Noh-Varr stretched slightly, then shoved his hands deep into his pockets. He’d just saddled himself with accompanying Tommy for the next hours, which he couldn’t decide whether or not that was pleasant or not.

“I usually hang around the bleachers, bit of a teen movie stereotype but nobody bothers looking back there.”

As cliche as it sounded, if it proved effective, who was Tommy to judge the location? Noh-Varr invited him, somewhat, and given all the people he had run into today, this guy had the humor to maintain Tommy’s interest. However long remained to be seen.

“Yeah, why not?” he said, shrugging a shoulder. “I could use a break already from all of this.”

“That’s pretty bad for your first day,” Noh commented, tilting his head to indicate for Tommy to follow him. 

The bleachers were quiet, the only sounds the muffled shouts of the PE class taking place on the field beyond them. It was a perfect little isolated spot and usually, students would be loitering around here to enjoy its shelter. But Noh had established his dominion well and so, nothing greeted them but a few hastily stomped out cigarette butts on the floor and the wondrous privacy of isolation.

Noh-Varr sighed with content and fished out a pack of smokes for himself, an indulgence he wouldn’t quit for anyone’s sake. Not that anyone actually cared enough to ask him to quit, but he’d be defiant if they did.

“So, how come you transferred so late?”

Tommy dumped his bag and stretched out, arms up above his head and allowing a groan to roll through him. Already school tired him out. He wondered how long it would take before he quit altogether like the last time.

Glancing over he saw Noh fish out some smokes. Tommy considered asking to bum one off him, having missed the nicotine. He wasn’t a smoker by normal standards, since running impeded that hobby, but one now and then had served him well.

He decided against it and leaned back.

“Moved, that’s all,” he lied, watching the PE students from afar. Good thing he ditched them. “What’s the deal with the school? Good parties? This city seems really richy. Don’t think much crime goes on but there better be some hell of a good time at those huge homes.”

Noh-Varr shrugged his shoulders in response, dragging in the first greedy breath of smoke and exhaling slowly. He noticed Tommy’s eyes lingering on the students being casually tortured by the PE teacher and his favourites across the field and deigned his new acquaintance worthy of an answer.

“Can’t say I’m much of a party guy. Or rather, I don’t really get off on partying with a bunch of kids from school. But from what I hear, things get pretty crazy, these rich kids know how to have a good time, if you’re into that.”

“Good to know,” Tommy said, calculating how many in his second period class he could deduce to being rich and with a proclivity to go against mommy and daddy’s rule about house parties.

Guess he could milk some fun out of it until then. On that note, Tommy noted a dark-haired girl peering over at him when she could, so he offered a flash of a smile and wave. Her response told him she found him attractive enough to warrant her attention. Fun indeed.

“So,” Tommy said, watching the students, but still curious about his companion, “if you’re not much of a party guy with your schoolmates, what do you do?”

“Other things,” Noh evaded rather bluntly, quite intent on not telling Tommy what exactly those things were. The boy might be interesting enough for conversation, but he really didn’t have to know about Noh’s illegal hobbies and when he employed them. It wasn’t anything major, nothing he’d do more than a few (additional) years for, but he’d rather keep it on the down-low. It was mostly petty theft, electronic stores and pharmacies. He had a penchant for tinkering with machines, programmes and chemicals and in most cases, those did not mix well with public knowledge.

“You could call them projects and I doubt they’d interest you.”

Tommy looked at him, taking no insult to the evasion. Guy looked like he had done some time, or at least hung with a crowd that would best be left unknown to the public. He tried to imagine Noh-Varr doing something illegal and found the image easy to conjure up.

At the mention of projects, however, Tommy found an opening.

“You don’t know crap about me, so how would you know what would interest me?” he said, smirking slightly. “Though I guess I like the basic kind of things most guys do. A little drink, some good times, a pretty face in the bed.”

That earned him a chuckle that was too dry to be truly amused. Clearly, Tommy’s priorities had little to do with Noh’s ideals. And to think the shallow depth of Tommy’s desire for an attractive bedpartner was the first thought that came to mind didn’t speak of much behind those ivy eyes.

“Most guys, huh? I prefer something a little more risky than some loose girl in bed and a drink or too. I find girls to be...dull. They’re lazy in bed, even when they call themselves ‘wild’.”

At that, Tommy tilted his head. A quick survey of Noh-Varr and he analyzed the likelihood that either Noh preferred guys or steered down the more asexual track. The latter didn’t seem all that likely, not with a body like that.

Tommy looked away upon realizing he had been staring a bit too intently at said body.

“Risky, huh?” he asked, interest genuinely piqued. Maybe Noh-Varr was an intellect? Intellects were people who found something better than sex, after all. “What kind of risky things?”

“Something that gives you more of an adrenaline rush than fucking some girl,” Noh-Varr considered if he should really tell Tommy about the drugs, the joyrides, or the simple rush of breaking into well-secured places. Sometimes, a combination of all three.

“I like breaking and entering...it’s not really to steal shit,” he took another slow drag, “more of a power thing, you know? There’s a lot of rich fuckers in this town, they have their little castles, they have everything they could want. I like messing with that.”

“Huh.” Tommy contemplated that. “So you just go in because you can.”

The more he envisioned himself carrying out a not-quite-burglary, the more his fingers itched to do just that. Rich folk had it easy for the most part, often blind to their weaknesses or how good they really had it even when scum like Tommy waltzed in and tripped right in front of them.

Tommy looked at Noh-Varr again. “I’m in.”

“What?”  
Noh was definitely not looking to expand his circle of acquaintances to plus one. It was something he did for himself, and alone. Just like everything else in his life. He was only at this prestigious school due to his academic prowess and natural ability. The rest of his life was solitary and pretty shitty, admittedly.

“It wasn’t a casting call, you know. You can do that shit by yourself, it’s not an extracurricular activity.”

“Why the hell not?” Tommy said, frowning a bit by now. “Come on, don’t have a stick up your ass. It’s not like I’m saying we gotta be partners or anything. I don’t know the area and, think about it, there’s got to be some big place you’ve been dying to hit but never quite could on your own.”

Tommy was not about to admit in his fantasy of earning his rush, Noh-Varr was right along there with him. After all, what point existed to get the high alone? Tommy wanted someone to see him do this, to look at him with an expression that said, ‘damn that was good’.

“I don’t know you kid. Can’t trust you to have my back as long as you’re a stranger.” Noh was finished with his smoke by now and he looked at Tommy one more time, mustering the resolution and determination in his gaze.

“How about you get used to this place first...party with the rich kids, try out the girls...and when all that shit doesn’t do it for you, come back to me and I’ll take you along.”

Tommy snorted, looking away. Noh-Varr had a point, and yet a shameful memory admonished Tommy for having not been that way, instead too eager to let anyone tag along so long as it meant a pat on the head.

Shaking away those thoughts, Tommy shrugged.

“Fine,” he said. “Whatever.”

Now he really needed a smoke, or maybe a drink.

Recalling a store two blocks away, Tommy delighted himself with the idea of sneaking off campus. “Well,” he said, standing and grabbing his backpack, “I sure as hell ain’t wasting all my time sitting on my ass.”

“Knock yourself out,” he swept his arm out, indicating that nothing was holding the young man back, he was free to leave as he saw fit.


	2. Chapter 2

Noh-Varr didn’t make a point of seeking Tommy out again, actually, he hadn’t caught a glimpse of the boy for the last three days. It was Friday now, and their last lesson was Biology. Noh had no illusion that Tommy would be sucked into a clique sooner or later. He seemed like a follower, despite his standoff-ish first day.

Again, he was napping on the desk. He’d been out all of last night and nearly got caught too.

For three days Tommy charmed people as much as he put them off, and for three days plenty of girls and even some guys talked to him, invited him to a few parties.

None of them invited him to sit with them at lunch or see a movie or--well, not that Tommy was down for that dumb crap anyway. As far as the school concerned itself with, Tommy was fun, a class clown at times, but not material for any clique. In just three days Tommy could consider himself popular, and as alienated as ever too.

He ran ten minutes late to Biology, grimacing and smiling at the teacher.

“Sorry, I had to save a bus full of kids,” he said, earning him a round of sniggers. No one believed him of course, but it earned him a pass without detention.

Noh-Varr looked ready to keel over. Tommy hadn’t seen the guy much, which suited him fine.

“Hey,” he greeted nonetheless. He chuckled under his breath and fished out a container of pills. “Think you might need one of these.”

He blinked up at Tommy, barely placing his face as one he recognized, before eyeing the pill and then taking it without a complaint or doubt as to what it could possibly be.

“Thanks hero,” he muttered, having heard Tommy’s entrance loud and clear and just maybe grinning to himself at the young man’s gall.

Noh shuffled his stuff over for Tommy to drape his on the place, then went back to inspecting his forearms with his eyes shut. He was so unbelievably tired from vaulting fences and walls and simply running like hell last night. His clothes bore evidence of the nightly activity, small tears and smears of mud and blood adorning the crinkled fabric.

Tommy recognized the signs of a long night, though instead of sex with a pretty girl Noh-Varr looked to have had at it with thorns or sharp fences. Maybe both. The pill would give him a jump start to the day, a high concentration of caffeine with a hint of sugar, but it didn’t substitute sleep.

Watching the guy, Tommy bit on his tongue, and before he knew it, he dragged over Noh’s assignment sheet and copied his own answers to it, already familiar with Noh’s handwriting enough to plagiarize it for the teacher to not blink once at.

The class went that way, Tommy flipping through pages, pretending to talk to a coherent Noh so as not to rouse suspicion, meanwhile writing both answers on their sheets. He didn’t think as to why he did it, he rarely did with his mind working faster than he could catch up with.

By the time it was time to turn in the paper, Tommy glanced at a somewhat confused looking lab partner.

“No problem,” he said to him, “I already filled out your stuff.”

The pill had taken entirely too long to work and Noh’s brain still wasn’t quite up to speed, but he realised enough to understand that Tommy had helped him out. It almost tempted a smile onto his lips, but apparently his facial muscles were too drained for even that.

“Thanks...” 

The teacher gave him a baleful eye as he turned in the paper, but thanks to Tommy’s diligent work, he had no reason to question Noh’s slouched position all lesson long.

When he returned to the desk, he was a little more awake.

“...so, uh, I’d commonly offer you a beer in gratitude but since we’re at school, I guess a soda? An apple juice? Chocolate milk?” 

There was that smirk that belonged on his face.

Tommy nearly laughed at that, swallowing it down to a snort.

“I like chocolate milk but only with cookies,” he said, an idea springing to mind. “Actually, there’s a liquor store nearby. Want to hit at lunch? I know a guy there who always buys me drinks. I’d get a fake ID, but no one ever believes I really look old enough.”

And if his heart pitter-pattered at the prospect of not spending a lunch period alone like a loser, then what of it.

“Are you trying to charm me with both crime and liquor? Careful there, Tommy boy, you might just make me like you.”

They left the class together, or rather, Noh-Varr extended the little bubble of arrogant, purposeful isolation he maintained to Tommy as he herded him along, trading quips and banter as if they’d spent more than just a couple of hours in each other’s company. It felt pretty...well, good, to actually try to enjoy someone’s company. It was new for Noh and he wasn’t quite sure he liked it, but it could grow on him.

By the time they reached lunch period and headed to the store, Tommy felt as if he had known Noh-Varr for years. Though to say he trusted the guy blindly was another matter, but he certainly felt at ease around him. He’d have to pick up some of the good stuff for him.

“Hold up,” he said, then ducked around the building before gesturing for Noh-Varr to follow. “He’s already getting the stuff.”

Tommy shifted in his spot, hating the wait. Waiting and Tommy did not much like one another.

“Oh, so,” he started, needing his mind to stay occupied, “you going to that girl’s party tonight?”

Noh usually spent his lunch in some quiet corner, happily detached from the world as he consumed whatever he could afford to bring or buy. But this was new, this was different, and maybe he’d grow to like it. Tommy was different from the herd of well-dressed sheep and that appealed to Noh as much as it irritated him.

“I don’t think I was invited. Or if I was, I didn’t care to find out,” he shrugged his shoulders. It wasn’t as if he absolutely hated parties, but he usually had no interest in them whatsoever.

“Are you going?”

Tommy allowed a few heartbeats to imagine Noh-Varr breaking into homes while everyone else partied it up at the expense of some mom and dad’s wrath. Not that he pitied Noh-Varr, but there had to be something...sad about a group of people having a good time and you not being invited.

“Yeah, the girl invited me. She expects me there. Not really my type, but hey, free drinking and dancing,” he laughed, shrugging. “But you could stop by. Don’t you get a break from breaking into people’s homes sometime? You know, sit on some fancy couch and drink some rum or something?”

“That sounds tedious and decisively too legal to be fun,” Noh countered, but shrugged his shoulders as he mulled over Tommy’s words. Maybe he should see what the alternative to his nightly lifestyle could offer before he dismissed it so easily. And unlike all of the other dull parties he’d never been invited to, this one had the advantage of Tommy’s presence. Though just how much of his company Noh would enjoy stood to debate, since there would be a herd of willing girls for the guy to tumble into...well whatever he was into with.

“I guess I could swing by. See what the kids are up to, sort of thing.” there was an edge of insecurity there he wasn’t even aware of, but Noh had good reason to keep his distance from people just as they preferred to avoid him.

Tommy nodded, satisfied if his smile said anything about it. “Then it looks like I’ll see you there,” he said.

Before he could offer going at the same time to the party, a lanky punk in a hoodie stepped out from around the corner, bags in hand.

“Awesome,” Tommy said, accepting them and fishing out a twenty dollar bill to slip into the punk’s hand. “Thanks.”

He rummaged through the bag, confirming their purchases. All accounted for, he gestured for Noh to follow him to a table outside a string of restaurants workers dove into during their lunch break. There, he offered Noh a beer, a small bottle of rum, and a thick Italian sub sandwich.

“Now this, I could get used to,” Noh appraised the sandwich with a loving look that promised eating to be a quick affair, but one that was well appreciated.

Spending time with Tommy was surprisingly easy so far. There appeared to be no drawbacks whatsoever, and it should make him cautious, but Noh kind of basked in the fact he had company for lunch.

The liquor, of course, received an equal amount of appraisal, the beer downed as casually as any soda.

“You’re feeding me, I hope you know how deeply this connects us,” he grinned.

Tommy chuckled around a mouthful, then swallowed before speaking. He had to admit this beat hunched over some table in the corner of the cafeteria. 

“I’ll make sure to feed the stray scraps now and then,” he said back, sipping his own beer. He could see himself doing this more often, in the company of a guy who seemed as alienated as Tommy felt. Not that he’d admit that part of course.

*

For a Friday, school went pretty smoothly. Everyone who was anyone hyped about the party, reporting the kinds of drinks that promised a night of dancing with strangers and maybe a few in bed, depending on the vibe.

Tommy had to sneak back home first before heading to the party fashionably late. Most people omitted the sneaking part at their own place. Most people didn’t have Tommy’s mom or spanking new boyfriend.

It didn’t go as well as he hoped, neither the sneaking or the confrontation that followed.

Tommy did show up late as custom dictated, but for the wrong reasons. He mounted the steps with a smile that said he had no cares, and shimmied his way through to greet the host with a wide grin. Not once did he allow his body to betray him, allow the marks on his wrists or hip or back to interrupt his movements.

The party bounced with activity, from the dance floor in the crazy huge living room that had seen better days without grinding bodies on its fine wood floors, to the kitchen, the source of the buzz, literally. Tommy accepted a cup from the girl, flirting a bit before he excused himself, pretending to check out the eye-candy when he really looked for a mop of white hair.

Noh-Varr knew this wasn’t a stellar idea, and he hadn’t felt any better about it ever since he arrived for the party. The guests already mingling and dancing had given him looks that doubted his existence, much less his right to be here. He’d gathered himself a drink and soon after, a corner to linger in, pinning his hopes on Tommy’s arrival to lessen the harsh social ostracism he was met with on a daily basis.

But Tommy was nowhere in sight as the party went on and Noh-Varr found himself forgotten and ignored in the corner, as usual. He didn’t seek out anyone’s company either, his social interaction reduced to a questioning glare to anyone who stood before him. Needless to say, no one felt a need to approach him, despite his well built physique and technically pleasant features.

Someone did find it fit to approach Noh-Varr, and it came with a grin more genuine than the one Tommy had bestowed to the host.

“Hey,” he shouted over the pulse of the party. He waved to emphasize he was on his way, and navigated with drink in hand to the corner Noh-Varr seemed to have carved out for himself.

“Looking glum enough?” he teased, taking Noh-Varr in. “That face is keeping people from talking to you. You got a good look. You would look better with a smile.”

Tommy laughed, not intending for Noh-Varr to take his words seriously. Maybe having had a full cup of drink had fueled the impulsiveness that had often gotten him in trouble; he laid his hand on Noh’s shoulder.

“Come on, let’s take a tour of this shack and then I’ll see if I can get you to dance.”

“What are you trying to do, give me a popular kid makeover?” Noh’s reply came as more of a grunt, but he was relieved to see Tommy here. Maybe it was true and his own attitude was what kept people at bay, but it hadn’t kept the new kid from him. So his impression couldn’t be that intimidating.

They maneuvered through the house, around those clumps of girls that might look to them with interest, talking and mostly badmouthing the party, but thoroughly enjoying each other’s company above the rest. The tour of the girl’s room somehow became a leg of their journey, though it was a miracle the room wasn’t occupied by couples in the middle of getting lucky.

Instead, they ran straight into the stares of a group of girls clustered around a bottle.

Tommy had enjoyed laughing with Noh-Varr. Granted, the alcohol had helped loosen up what distress his home had tried to pin on him. Still, there was genuine mirth underlining Noh’s insults about the place.

If he stole more glances than necessary at his companion (friend?), he would set the blame on whatever filled his cup next.

When the spotted a group of girls, Tommy smirked at them, rewarded with some in return. Surely he and Noh made a sight for the girls, and two guys, Tommy counted.

“Spin the bottle?” he asked.

“Better,” a girl chirped, already waving him over, and subsequently Tommy’s scowl-riddled company. “Seven minutes in heaven.”

“I haven’t played that in a few years,” Tommy replied, smirking at Noh. “Please tell me you know what that game is.”

The smirk on Tommy’s face and the looks on the girls as their eyes wandered over both of them should have warned him about the intrusive premise of this game. But Noh liked Tommy’s company, and he seemed eager to play...so how bad could it be?

“I don’t...but I suspect I will find out?”

“Yes you will,” Tommy said, guiding Noh by the arm and shoving him to squeeze in between two girls, one of which looked eager to devour Noh. Tommy labeled her as the kind who lunged at the bad boys and imagined her daddy unaware of her being at such a party.

Tommy sat across from Noh-Varr, refusing to miss the expression on the guy’s face if the bottle should point to him. The more he hung around Noh, the more Tommy suspected he was in serious need of fucking someone to relieve all that tension that kept his face in a permanent frown.

Plenty of girls here to do the job too, though Tommy silently hoped the bottle landed on one of the guys because that would be hilarious in its own right.

“Alright,” he said, taking charge. “Let’s get started.”

He pointed to the prettiest girl there, a redhead with a nice rack that could show Noh a good time. She seemed coy, but spun the bottle, and when it landed on another girl, the two guys in the group hooted and made some comments Tommy preferred to ignore.

“Rules are rules,” he said, smiling at the two girls. He smirked at Noh-Varr when they were all but dragged up and stuffed into a room together. “Counting...now.”

Noh was rather oblivious to the obvious attraction and readiness the girl next to him displayed, even when she subtly ran a hand over his biceps and gave a muted squeal. He was paying attention to the game, having figured out the purpose as soon as the door shut behind the two girls. 

“So...the point is to be confined for seven minutes under the influence and to, let me guess, make out and or more, depending on how attractive you find your ‘heavenly’ partner?”

The girl next to him gave an eager nod and petted his shoulder.

“Since it’s your first time, you go next.”

Tommy observed, between timing the girls in the closet, how the redhead pawed at Noh-Varr like she wanted to make him her next conquest. Something about it unsettled Tommy’s stomach, to which he reminded himself it must have been the heavy liquor.

Tearing his gaze from the sight, he said, “Alright, let them out.”

The door creaked opened and two girls, drunk and giggling, stumbled out, wiping their mouths now stained with lipstick.

“Do I see a wrinkled dress?” he asked one of the girls, putting a smile for show, though his gaze kept drifting back to Noh and the redhead. After said girl in wrinkled dressed cleared her throat, Tommy gestured. “Alright, Noh-Varr. You’re up.”

Obviously, this was going to be a waste of time. If he ended up in the closet with the redhead, he was going to either a) let her kiss him or whatever she was raring to do or b) ignore her entirely and emerge with a somewhat more awkward expression on his face than now. 

It would be far more interesting with someone who wasn’t so obvious about their intent.

He sighed and spun the bottle, deciding that this kind of game was way beneath him and coming to this party a monumental waste of his time. 

The bottle teetered to a stop, neck clearly pointing at Tommy.

Well.

Tommy stared at the bottle, figuring some joke from the alcohol had made him see the direction it pointed. 

Nope. Right at him.

Double well.

He must have been gaping long enough because the group laughed, jeering and nudging him.

“Rules are rules,” one of the girls who had gone in the closet said, tugging up on his arm.

Well, shit. Tommy struggled to process being hauled up and shoved toward the closet, unaware of the others doing the same to Noh or the pout the redhead beside him had. The next thing Tommy knew was him stumbling into a small space, the slam of the door, and a weak light that told him he was very much locked in a closet with Noh-Varr.

“Well,” he exhaled, because somehow he had not calculated this being an option at all.

“...Uhm. This is not what you wanted when you said we should play this game, I assume?” Noh-Varr was much broader than a girl and this closet had been picked to minimize the space between two people so ridiculously that chests would bump. In this case, chests almost ground together rather than just touched and Noh wondered if he should start feeling claustrophobic.

It was entirely dark, and he was trying not to move lest he knock something down that might be contained within.

He almost asked Tommy if they should kiss to pass the time, but thought better of it at the last minute, instead trying to get his large frame to be comfortable within the confined space.  
His leg found something yielding to move towards and Noh relished the little more freedom until he noticed the heat bleeding through clothes. He’d just pushed his leg between Tommy’s thighs.

“Not exactly like this,” Tommy said, his voice feeble in the confined space, as if worried it wouldn’t have a place to fit. 

As it was, their chests pressed together, and Tommy’s hammering heart had nowhere to run. Noh-Varr must have felt it, but said nothing. Were they seriously going to stay squished for seven minutes?

Looked that way, at least until Noh shifted, and Tommy was all tense nerves and cold spine. A leg not belonging to him had maneuvered right up to the apex of his thighs. Blood surged through Tommy, aggravated by what the rum and vodka and beer had done already.

Tommy inhaled sharply and tried to avoid looking at Noh, but the guy was right there, a force to be reckon with. In his desperation, Tommy leaned back, back bumping into something beside the wall, and he yelped as it dug into his bruise.

“Fuck,” he hissed, then wiggled away, then stopped instantly when he realized that made him ride Noh-Varr’s thigh. “Sorry, just...fuck.”

Noh didn’t really want to move, the only space would be even closer to Tommy and he doubted the younger would be comfortable if they were even more squished than they were right now. Noh-Varr’s hands felt the wall behind him as Tommy rubbed himself along his thigh. It wasn’t on purpose, as the horrified apology seconds later proved, but nevertheless, it had done something to Noh. His gut was churning for adrenaline and he already knew the party would never provide it. 

But this might.

With careful intent, he reached for Tommy’s arms, stilling them against the wall behind him.

“I have an idea on how to pass the time,” he muttered, allowing his body to crowd Tommy’s, not just their chests pressed together now.

Tommy’s eyes bulged when Noh-Varr, of all people, made a move on him. More than that, he held him still, looming over him until every breath Tommy took held his scent. Heat bled from where Noh-Varr held his arms, not firm enough to agitate the marks on them, hidden under his shirt, but enough to get the point across.

“I...Oh, I’m...I’m not into guys,” Tommy said, hating how meek the argument was because in the back of his rushed mind he knew he had been scoping out cute guys at the party as much as girls. 

More so given that he didn’t allow himself to indulge that part of his...interest, for good reason.

“Does it matter?” Noh-Varr could see pretty well now that his eyes had adjusted to the darkness and he could trace over Tommy’s flushed expression. And he truly meant that. It didn’t matter one bit to him what he found in someone’s pants, as long as they were attractive enough for him to want to be in their pants in the first place.

But it was far from his comfort zone to impose that on others. Or rather, on others he might want to hang out with again after such an event. So he made no further move but to lean his head down to Tommy’s ear, just in case anyone was pressed to the door in an attempt to eavesdrop.

“No one has to know. Will it hurt to try?”

All good points, and Tommy’s body bubbled with need, the vile traitor. Yet Tommy resisted,   
grappling with the consequences that could befall them. His attempts withered quickly as Tommy had never been the type to think such things over, instead diving where impulse took him.

So how was this any different? He could always stop it if it became...too much.

Tommy surveyed Noh-Varr, the feel of his body against his, the way his voice tickled. Noh-Varr was hot, for a guy anyway, so...

Without further preamble and abandoning all sense, Tommy seized Noh’s mouth and moaned hard the moment he did.

It wasn’t exactly how he’d imagine the evening to go, but Noh found himself surprisingly pleased with this turn of events. He didn’t know if he’d been all that serious when he made the move on Tommy, but with their mouths meshed together like this, he could convince himself that it had been a good intuition to follow. His hands left Tommy’s arms, instead ensnaring his shoulders to press his body as close as physics could allow. Tommy tasted like alcohol and the promise of more adrenaline than this whole entire party could dream of providing. The moan filtered through his entire body and awakened thoughts he didn’t know he could possess so quickly. 

Noh-Varr kissed him like he might drown in the tediousness of this party if he parted from Tommy now, his eyes falling shut as his leg enticed Tommy’s crotch into a little more friction than before. 

Tommy groaned, then squirmed until he could free his hands enough to feel Noh’s hair, surprised at how smooth they felt. He tugged and shoved Noh’s head closer, his own mouth opening and welcoming a fight of tongues.

A shudder rippled through him when Noh increased the pressure on his crotch, and too soon Tomy was outright riding his leg, hands smoothing over wide shoulders and rubbing the bumps of Noh’s back. He had some heavy muscle going on. Tommy couldn’t remember wanting to share a bed with someone in so long.

Tommy knew when he wanted something, he stopped for nothing until he seized it.

“Fuck,” he grunted into Noh’s mouth, pushing away so he could talk more coherently around the kisses. “ Only got a couple minutes left...”

Noh would never admit to how heavily he was breathing by Tommy’s shoulder when he’d pushed him away. He could share the sentiment of wanting something badly, that was for sure. He couldn’t remember the last time someone ensnared him so easily, with just a kiss. Oh, and the growing pressure on his leg reflected itself perfectly in the tight cage of his jeans. Tommy was hot, incredibly so, and he fit against Noh in all the right places. His mouth eagerly sought out the one he’d been forced to abandon so recently, greedy and hungry and entirely unwilling to relinquish the territory it had taken.

“Let’s not waste them with talking then,” he hissed against liquor-flavoured lips, tongue already pushing back into Tommy’s mouth as his hands settled on beautifully defined hipbones.

Tommy grunted as he was essentially told to shut up. When Noh-Varr bullied him back into proper form though, he abandoned his thoughts and pressed up into the touch. A light flinch was all he gave when a hand touched a sensitive hip, but one could just as easily attribute it to another shiver overwhelming Tommy.

Sensations overwhelmed him so much that he did not register the door opening, nor felt the light bouncing through.

He did, however, hear a loud, sharp intake of breath that might have been gasp.

Tommy tore his mouth off, skin prickling for all the wrong reasons.

“Holy shit,” someone laughed, “they were going full on at it!”

The voices broke through the haze that had layered itself upon Noh’s mind in the most unpleasant way possible. His hands left Tommy as if he was made of acid or lava, came up to wipe his mouth as he disentangled his limbs from the younger and stumbled out of the closet. Literally, because the group of girls (and two very aghast guys) stared at him with disbelief that swiftly turned to mockery.

“You know I was getting that whole faggot vibe from him the moment he walked in here,” the redhead, clearly bruised in ego and esteem, the one who’d been looking at Noh like a well-made steak before, sneered now, a nasty little chuckle following her statement joined by a few hideous shrieks from her companions.

Noh-Varr could only put his regular glare into place and give a dismissive snort. He gathered up his jacket, eager to escape the situation. He didn’t wait for Tommy or more homophobic commentary, just bludgeoned his way to the door and out of the house as quickly as he could. 

He was a fucking idiot, what the hell had he been thinking coming here?

Of all the things that flew out of Tommy’s mouth first, which should have been a snide comment or a jab at how Noh forced himself on him, he ultimately shouted after the disgruntled outcast. Where the commentary should have encouraged him to join in, it disgusted him, and he shot a few pointed remarks that had the redhead and a few of her friends pale.

It’s their own fault, really. Tommy can’t help the things he noticed about people faster than they realized it.

Scurrying down the steps and spilling into the street proved a challenge. Tommy didn’t stop there though, diving after Noh-Varr as he saw his form stomping a good two blocks away.

“Hey,” he shouted, panting and almost crashing into Noh-Varr when his legs caught up. “Hey, wait a fucking second. Oh, Jesus...”

He waved at Noh, needing a second to regroup, having been breathing improperly through his sprint. The alcohol didn’t help either, and as he gathered enough breath to speak, he opted to not mention the party at all, finding something familiar in Noh’s gaze.

Out of the blue, Tommy asked him, “You ever had a homemade bagel pizza?”


	3. Chapter 3

He just wanted to return to the emptiness of the house he was supposed to call home. His foster parents wouldn’t care for his presence, they never did and Noh liked it that way. It completed the circle of absolute alienation he enforced so vigorously at school. He’d always done everything alone, because he already knew that the world didn’t care. You had to make it care by taking power into your own hands and no one would catch you should you fuck that up too.

He shouldn’t have gone to the party. It was a dangerous place to try and find something in Tommy’s company, too many variables that could and now would affect his careful isolation. Being an invisible ‘alien’ to those around you made for an easier existence than being a sore thumb. Not that Noh-Varr was afraid of being bullied, oh no, he knew how to handle anyone who might want to assert their superiority to him in any way, but he despised attention.

His reverie found a rapid halt when someone ran up behind him, all scattered hair and hard breaths. It was Tommy. 

Noh-Varr awaited his words with patience, expected them to be a warning to stay away from Tommy, lest they be drawn into the critical eye of their stupid fellow students. Instead, the question posed surprised him.

“How the hell do you turn bagels into pizza?”

Tommy grinned and exhaled heavily, clearing his lungs. “Fuck, I shouldn’t run when I’m buzzed,” he said, stretching his arms over his head, hands resting behind his neck to increase air flow.

“And I’m about to show you,” he added, eyes raking over Noh. Strange that he still ached for more of that body, just for tonight wouldn’t hurt. “Maybe...some dessert after.”

“You’re planning on feeding me again to dissuade my anger, aren’t you?” Noh-Varr shoved his hands into his pockets, looking much less ready to storm off as he watched Tommy stretch and lean and pant. He kind of liked seeing his chest heave and he definitely liked being able to see Tommy’s face clearly in the light of a streetlamp. He was more than handsome, Noh had to admit. Tommy held this devious sort of beauty that had nothing to do with femininity, but everything to do with the mischief that his mind could manage.

“Fine, feed me bagel pizza and dessert to make up for the hideous idea of getting me to this party.”

Tommy agreed, walking him back to his place, which consisted of crossing over plenty of private property until they reached the part of town no rich kid liked to acknowledge existed beyond their shrubs.

Luckily, Tommy’s mom had work until dawn so as he climbed up the stairs, all the while poking fun with Noh, he felt himself relax for once upon opening his apartment door. Inside, the place reeked of neglect, or of someone desperate to keep the edges from going frayed.

Tommy bypassed it all and entered the small kitchen.

“Help yourself to beer or water, or whatever,” he said, fishing out ingredients. He made no comment about his home, not seeing an issue. Noh-Varr didn’t seem the type to turn a nose up to his living conditions.

“But don’t get too cozy,” he explained, “now layoung the bagels. We have work to do, masterpieces to make in the oven.”

Noh didn’t bat an eyelash at the less than fancy living conditions Tommy brought him to. It was pretty clear from day one that the kid was not from one of the villas Noh liked to break into and although his own ‘home’ was more upscale than this, he’d lived in worse before.

Actually, he much preferred something small and worn and real like this. He knew where he was at in Tommy’s home. After scoring a beer from the fridge, he gave Tommy a baleful look for the demand for him to do something and he arranged himself on an unused counter.

“Are you kidding? You invited me, don’t you have a host duty to entertain me rather than putting me to work?”

Tommy responded by shoving Noh toward the sink. He turned on the water and washed his hands first, without rolling up his sleeves. That still had him pressed up against Noh’s side, their brief time in the closet a vivid image now that burned down to Tommy’s loins.

Not looking over at Noh, he leaned a little further against him and rubbed his wet hands over the other boy’s.

“The party blows,” he said, albeit quietly. “No one’s going to bother us here.”

“Something I can definitely appreciate,” Noh watched Tommy’s wet hands over his own, wondering if this was some form of message he didn’t understand or if Tommy was genuinely trying to clean his hands without actually forcing him beneath the trickle of water dripping from the faucet.

He liked the warmth of Tommy pressed to his side though, and suddenly he was hideously aware of how alone they were in this house. Didn’t Tommy have parents that would frown upon whatever might transpire between the two of them, given their recent closet experience?

“Where are your folks? Out?”

“Mom’s got graveyard shift,” was all Tommy said on the matter, scrubbing both sets of hands clean before grabbing the towel to dry them.

Gradually, he lifted his eyes, wanting to put as much distance between the thought of parental units and the sight before him as much as he could. He found a remedy to that by elaborating, “Just us all night.”

Letting the implications hang, Tommy took a swig of Noh’s beer before breaking out the sauce. He didn’t mind getting dirty now, smearing the sauce with his fingers on the bagels, then sprinkling a layer of cheese.

“So,” he said, “you put all the veggies you want on it, and we pop it in the oven. Fifteen minutes and it’s ready. Then, you can have dessert.”

By ‘dessert’ he emphasized by sucking a finger clean from the sauce.

The implied dessert certainly looked a lot better than pizza bagels, despite Noh’s never-ending love affair with food. Suddenly, he couldn’t choose toppings fast enough, the food almost an annoying hindrance to some unspoken promise.

Tommy was more than flirting with him. Tommy was offering something to him, Tommy was offering him a lengthy extension of what happened in the closet and somehow, that made Noh both incredibly aroused and nervous. He’d had sex before, an awkward, fumbling affair he didn’t much like. It had been a little better when he’d tried with a guy and his own pleasure had stood in the foreground...

But right now, he wasn’t sure how to handle Tommy’s approach.

The bagels couldn’t be done fast enough.  
“What exactly did you have in mind for dessert?”

Tommy popped the tray of pizza bagels in the oven, feeling as hot as the inside of the appliance at that moment. God, he must have been decently drunk to want Noh-Varr’s mouth on him again, yet not drunk enough that he couldn’t bake a pizza.

Analyzing things was best left to the dust right now. Tommy turned at the question, wiping his hands clean. Noh-Varr really didn’t get it, and it proved just how socially alienated the guy must have been to miss such obvious innuendos.

Not caring how bad of an idea it might be, Tommy stepped closed and dragged his arms over Noh’s shoulders, letting them hang off with hand clasping. He leaned close, millimeters from kissing that mouth that had him gasping for breath.

And then he shed off Noh-Varr and went for the beer, eyes bright and lips smirking around the bottle.

Noh might have been holding his breath the moment Tommy came close enough for him to feel the air he exhaled on his face. He practically fell in on himself when the younger peeled away to have beer instead of gracing him with a kiss and he let out something akin to a whine, one he immediately cut off the second he heard it escape.

Damn that little bastard, he definitely knew which buttons to push.

“You’re a dick, you know that?” the hiss wasn’t nearly as violent as he wanted it to be.

Tommy had to laugh at the tantrum, reminded of a kid who didn’t get his way. Setting the beer aside after finishing it, he leaned against the counter and shrugged one shoulder, eyes devouring the sight of Noh. Drunk or not, his body put so many jocks’ to shame.

“I’ve been told,” he said. “But you could stand there and bitch or do something about it.”

Fuck waiting for the bagels, he was not going to waste this opportunity. Noh-Varr surged forward, almost knocking over the beer as he braced his hand on the wall and used the other to trap Tommy against the counter. Again, he sought to crowd his body against the younger as if to reenact the scene from the closet.

“I think you need to shut up again,” the way he crushed his mouth to Tommy’s might be described as desperate, though he’d deny it vehemently later and blame it on the alcohol. As soon as Tommy stilled into a semi-obedience against him, his hands travelled, sought out what they had little chance to explore before.

Tommy dove forward kiss-wise, giving Noh-Varr a fight worth engaging in with lips, tongue, and teeth. A little sloppiness suited a flushed Tommy fine enough, but his hands felt no effect of the alcohol, albeit one could argue their fervor was stronger than usual. They tugged at white hair, squeezed muscle, and bullied clothes out of his way so his mouth could mark up Noh’s neck.

If others could see it later, then good. Not that Tommy planned that ahead of time.

Right as his hands started going for the belt, a rumbling rattled him to some sense. Tommy broke the kiss with a gasp and listened, pinning the door as the source of the commotion. 

“Melinda!” a voice boomed from the front door, a fist slamming into it to punctuate the man’s ire.

“Shit, of all times,” Tommy whispered, shoving at Noh’s chest. “Just be quiet. He should go away.”

Noh-Varr was worlds away from reality, caught somewhere between Tommy’s lips on his skin and feeling of his body pressed close enough for heat to bleed through the layers of clothing that remained. He barely heard the noise, let alone bothered to pause in his actions.

The pounding at the door held his attention instantly though, body tensing for a fight he may have to win.

“Who is that?” he hissed, not loud enough to be heard beyond the kitchen.

Tommy grunted and reached out to turn off the kitchen light, as a precaution. He waited for the next bout of pounding to pass before saying, “The newest model of Mom’s boyfriend. Kyle.”

The bellowing escalated as the length of the fist hammering did. Throw in a litany of curses and crude expressions to represent Tommy’s mom, and one was a step away from domestic violence. Around a snort, Tommy counted until the idiot left.

“He doesn’t have a key so let’s just head to the back room.”

“Seriously?” Noh listened to the cursing and the pounding, wondering how long the door would resist this abuse before it gave in. Not that he was afraid of facing down a stranger in a potentially physical situation, but he’d rather be ready and not occupied and distracted by Tommy’s mouth.

“If he breaks in we can claim self-defense. He sounds like a dick.”

“No,” Tommy said, too quickly and with a hint of desperation he hadn’t meant to let loose. “No. Just forget him. Come on.”

He grabbed Noh-Varr’s wrist, tugging him to the back as the door endured alone. Giving Noh-Varr a reason to stay prioritized itself over introducing him to the brute outside.

“He is a dick,” Tommy confirmed, quietly shutting the door to his room. “But that’s not the kind of dick I care about right now.”

Noh-Varr gave a heavy snort at that, stifling the noise with a hand over his mouth lest the unwanted visitor outside heard it and decided that there was life inside of the house.

“You’re unbelievable. It’s not really the kind of ambiance for dicks, is it? I mean, apart from the one on your porch. He’s seeing your mother? Doesn’t sound healthy.”

Tommy thought to supply the useful information of how much rum mingled with vodka in his system. Instead, he drifted back to the bed, being sure the lights went off first to avoid exposing the dark, mottled patches on parts of his skin. There, he undid his pants and shucked off his shirt.

“Are you really more worried about the kind of guy my mom is dating?”

“Not particularly,” Noh’s eyes sharpened on Tommy’s body, which was being revealed as casually as if Noh wasn’t here at all. He approved, definitely. Tommy was slender, no one could deny that, but he lacked fragility, there were muscles there, lean, toned, well defined even in the absence of decent light.

And there were marks on his skin. Marks that didn’t look as if they’d been put there by exuberant pleasure. 

But it wasn’t Noh’s job to care, or to question. He’d been invited here for a different purpose and he knew he’d deny the burden of knowing of the problems in Tommy’s life.

“You look pretty good, out of your clothes.”

Tommy smiled a lazy smile, stretching for show before crawling onto the bed. It provided a spectacular view of his backside and thighs, more so when he stretched out onto his stomach, hugging a pillow under his head.

“Pretty good, hm?” he said, glancing over his shoulder. “How flattering. Maybe I find the bed more appealing than you.”

“That’s just plain rude,” Noh still managed to address Tommy, even with his eyes stuck on the younger’s midsection and below. Tommy had an absolutely stunning backside, and the hipbones he’d seen made Noh’s fingers twitch. 

There was no need for self-restraint here and now and Noh relished releasing the control he had over it as he crawled onto the bed, coming up no further than Tommy’s lower back, where he pressed his mouth, let his lips linger on untainted skin as his fingers caressed those sharply jutted beauties.

“Gorgeous,” he whispered, but it was not for Tommy’s ears, it was confirmation against his skin where Noh lingered, moving over where Tommy’s spine dipped into the lower curve, then following it down to very firm flesh rounded in the most sinful of curves.

Noh-Varr all but scrambled over, his mouth on Tommy’s skin sooner than later. Shudders struck down to Tommy’s toes at the attention, attention his hazy mind had no qualms about being on the receiving end of again, and again.

Tommy moaned, not quite in response, and sank his face into the pillow. He arched his back enough for his lower body to press into the touches, eyes going shut.

“I could get used to this,” he said.

“Shh,” Noh-Varr sounded almost angry, as if Tommy’s input disturbed his mood that apparently involved nothing above Tommy’s navel and especially not his mouth. But his ears did strain for the moan, finding it to be the perfect accompaniment for the sensual little session he was initiating here.

His fingers worked over Tommy’s stomach, circling, exploring, keeping very definitely from straying below a certain line, ignoring the existence of Tommy’s exacerbated ‘problem’. 

A smooth expanse of skin was in front of Noh’s eyes as soon as he pulled down Tommy’s underwear, sans using his hands. With the cloth between his teeth, his eyes devoured the beautiful landscape given to him by this position.

He didn’t need to pay Tommy any more verbal compliments, his tongue finding much better use licking pathways over the young man’s behind, Noh dedicating himself to a complete appreciation of what he’d been presented.

Tommy failed to bite down the groan that worked its way through Noh’s attention on his body. For someone who exuded intimidation and seemed as stiff as Noh-Varr, he certainly knew how to put his mouth and tongue to work. Chills danced along Tommy’s skin, even on parts that received none of the affection.

At least, he liked to think it was affection.

Taking no offense at being shushed, Tommy resumed relaying his thoughts through soft moans, a couple of mewls, and maybe a shuddering exhale. He couldn’t tell if the pounding from beyond the door had stopped, or if his heart pulsed so loudly it overwhelmed all other sounds.  
Noh had long since forgotten the man at the door, all his attention and yes, affection, was being lavished on this astonishing piece of art bundled into a human body. His tongue traced over a firm curve, keeping Tommy waiting for anything beyond it. His hand ventured around the front, rounding over the tip of his cock, quite clearly the younger was up for this if the tight stiffness of his member was anything to go by. Noh-Varr employed his vastly adaptable knowledge, circling once more with his fingertips before they clenched around the needy flesh with reassurance, but also languid patience.

As his hand gave Tommy a few well-meant, lazy strokes, his tongue found something far more interesting to delve towards.

Tommy never heard himself groan so loudly as when Noh began stroking him. Shamelessly and without the lid of sense to warn him of his behavior, Tommy jerked his hips forward, striving for more contact than he could possibly attain.

When Noh’s mouth went back on him again, a sharp gasp flew out of his mouth, contorting all future sounds into one garbled by his gasps or cries. If the noise didn’t give away to how little Tommy had done with another, the way his hips twitched and rolled did.

The instant reward for his efforts was obvious and delectable. Noh grinned to himself, pausing his ministrations to revel in how undone Tommy sounded already. This was far more fun than breaking into someone’s home or enduring the party they’d been at. This made it worth humiliating himself in the public eye, because the sight and sound of Tommy carved itself into his mind like nothing else before.

He put his mouth back to what he was doing, carefully tracing, probing, finding out what made Tommy downright pant into the pillow and his hips tremble. He wouldn’t last long like this, but it was perfectly okay.

Noh-Varr’s hand allowed Tommy’s shaft a little more pressure, a little more heat as he pumped him leisurely, much like he would touch himself. He was going to make this little half-drunken, hot loudmouth come hard.

Much later Tommy would marvel at how far he had fallen, how all sense and wit neglected him as Noh-Varr tapped into every fiber of his body with a few probes and strokes. Too soon to be prideful, Tommy dugs his fingers into the bed, rolled his hips hard, panted as if he couldn’t get enough air, and even begged. 

For what, he didn’t quite know. Maybe for Noh-Varr to let him go and spare him a respite, or maybe a demand for more and all that entailed. In the end, it didn’t matter because his body decided it wanted to spring to the finish line, and it did, with a sweet cry from Tommy’s lips, hips jerking into Noh’s grip.

Noh could feel it rock through Tommy’s body and practically vibrate into his own core. He stayed pressed to Tommy’s wonderful form, face resting on his lower back as he afforded the younger a few more pumps, hand now sticky with Tommy’s release.

“You liked that, huh? Better than a blowjob?”

Tommy shuddered and sighed as response, eyes staring at nothing in particular as his orgasm crested. It had felt better than a blowjob, though Tommy had been on the end of one less than five times. Whatever Noh-Varr had done, it had packed a wallop that left Tommy unable to gather enough wit to speak.

Grunting again, Tommy pressed into Noh’s hand and basked in the feeling of the other boy’s head on his low back.

“Mm,” he managed to say, finding some strength to reach back and run through familiar soft hair.

Noh-Varr chuckled to himself, utterly pleased with the damage he’d wreaked upon Tommy’s world with his little act. Not that it hadn’t pleased him, oh, it had tickled all the right places in his body too, but he was a lot better at controlling all of himself despite the enticing situation.

Tommy was pretty spent beneath him, so Noh-Varr dared to shimmy up, found a spot for himself at the boy’s shoulder with a lazy arm draping over his midsection.

“Can I crash here tonight? And if you say no, I don’t care, I’m sleeping over.”

Tommy’s eyes already had slid shut by the time Noh claimed a spot beside him on the bed. Warmth continued to radiate over Tommy, and it took him a moment to recognize it as Noh’s arm on his waist, or maybe just his sheer presence.

“Mmph,” he said.

He thought to ask why Noh-Varr hadn’t gotten off, or maybe he had and Tommy missed it at some point. Did they have sex? Tommy gripped at what memories still left him tingling, and concluded that he was feeling more shitfaced than before and was in deep need of sleep.

Unaware, he scooted closer to Noh’s body heat, grunted again, and fell asleep.

Noh-Varr took all of this lack of response for a yes and settled himself behind Tommy to be comfortable, completely forgetting about the man on the porch or the pizza bagels in the oven, which he assumed Tommy had turned off. Whatever, they’d eat them for breakfast, right?

*

Tommy never got to enjoy the feeling, rare as it was, of waking up in someone’s arms, warm and strangely secure given the lack of trust he had for their owner. Morning greeted him with a smack, then another, and the shrill voice that could stab into his gut and twist all things in there until he wanted to puke.

Scrambling out of bed, forced into consciousness, Tommy found his mom losing her breath in her screams, her hand reaching for him and beating what it could strike. It made for an awkward picture as he yanked on pants and lifted his arms only to ward off her attacks, never making the move to push her.

“Mom, calm down!”

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down ever, you ungrateful trouble-maker!” She was in that mode, ranting and flailing, and Tommy couldn’t make out most of what she said, but had forgotten that he had not been alone in his bed.

Noh-Varr had gotten a more than rude awakening when the door slammed open and a woman he presumed to be Tommy’s mother (though she really didn’t look anything like him) came in and started shrieking. 

He reached full consciousness when the woman began slapping at the boy still in his loose grip. Tommy soon wiggled from his arms and Noh rolled away, glad to have kept his clothing on mostly as he stood back and sort of witnessed the scene. 

The woman was reaching higher pitches and her assault didn’t halt as she tried slapping at her son’s head. And Noh-Varr drew a line as to things he couldn’t involve himself in. He was tall, average for his age, and broadly built. It was no trouble at all to yank the woman’s arms up, wrapping his hands around her wrists and keeping them still.

“Lady, I don’t know you, but you need to stop.”

Tommy felt the assault stop as quickly as it had rained on him. A glance through the gap of his arms told him Noh-Varr had taken action, and he didn’t know whether he felt more dread or surprise by the act.

His mom made it clear how she felt by trying overpower such a big force with her anger alone, which got her nowhere.

“I don’t need another punk off the streets messing up what I worked so hard for! I’m sick of your buddies coming over, thinking they can do whatever the fuck they want. I’m not tolerating it anymore, I’m sick of them and you, Thomas! Get out! Or I’ll call the police and say you,” her glare flashed back to Noh, “are trespassing!”

Tommy snatched on a shirt during the rant, managing to grab his wallet and a couple of other things before he was already stomping past her and through the doorway, silently expecting Noh to do the same.

“Oh,” he shot back over his shoulder, “and why don’t you tell Kyle to stop coming here at the middle of the night, drunk off his ass?”

The resounding shriek sounded angrier than frustrated, and Tommy hurried out, ignoring whatever nonsense his mom was spewing.

Noh-Varr had let go of the woman the minute Thomas rushed past him, clearly intent on not staying a minute longer than he had to. This really wasn’t his business, so her words meant absolutely nothing to him. He grabbed his jacket and followed the younger, not sure if he wanted any explanation or anything at all. 

The morning was bright and fresh, but Noh already felt his mood, so pleasant before he’d fallen asleep, was already nullified by the display Tommy and his mother had presented.

“...breakfast at my house?” was all he offered.

Tommy jerked his limbs through his own jacket, pumped on adrenaline. He knew it would wane, and he’d want a decent washing of his face and meal to get the day going. At the least, Noh-Varr hadn’t pried, didn’t seem eager to, and that suited them both fine.

Not like they were...boyfriends or anything.

At the very notion, Tommy felt himself go pink. He couldn’t remember much of last night, save for a great orgasm. Did they have sex? He didn’t feel particularly sore or--yeah, breakfast sounded better.

“I could go for breakfast.”

“Alright then,” it was all that needed to pass between them. Noh didn’t consider them as anything more than a sort of friendship that benefited from a few non-platonic touches like last night. His memories were crystal clear and he knew exactly how Tommy fit into his hand, how he liked to curve around the boy’s back and more.

He lead the way, leaving the rather shambley district Tommy lived in for a slightly more upscale one, where white fences depicted property lines clearly and no litter cluttered the street. 

The house he eventually stopped in front of was nice enough, not a villa by a longshot, but a little more spacious than Tommy’s place of living. 

“So, uh, this is it,” Noh commented as he opened up. Everything inside was meticulously spotless, but lacking a complete feeling of being lived in. It was sterile, cold and empty.

Tommy basked in the home he would never had, and then felt a chill the more he looked around and trailed after Noh. This place had the eeriness of a model home. It sure looked nice, but had the appeal a mannequin would probably like.

Made sense, he figured. Noh had a nice house, aesthetically, but he didn’t have a home.

“Sure looks nicer than my dump,” he offered, and added without thinking, “and better company.”

The joke dried up on his mouth and he had to clear his throat, looking away. “Uh, so, how about breakfast?”

“Sure,” Noh-Varr had dumped his jacket on the pristine furniture in the hallway. It couldn’t be cleaner if someone had wrapped it with cellophane.

He didn’t even bother to take off his shoes, walking into the kitchen and pulling things from the fridge and the cupboards, throwing on the coffee machine he knew was prepared for someone else’s breakfast.

“Just, I don’t know, chill or something. Omelette’s cool with you, I assume.”

There was a meticulous manner in which he messed up everything in the kitchen, employing subtle methods that would probably drive whoever kept this kitchen so spotless up the wall.

Tommy watched the display, keeping his opinions on the matter to himself. The mood to tease and make jabs at left him somewhere during their walk here. To argue that he refrained from it due to the semi-friendship he had made with Noh-Varr, well, Tommy refused to listen to that point.

“Yeah, I could eat just about anything,” he said, leaning against the counter. “Ah, mind if I use your bathroom? I could use a shower.”

Noh-Varr was whisking eggs in a manner that suggested he wouldn’t care if half of the liquid ended up on the floor, but he nodded at Tommy.

“Yeah sure, just use mine. Up the stairs, first door on the right. Food’ll be done in about fifteen minutes.”

The fact he was sending Tommy through his personal, private world to said shower didn’t occur to him until after the guy had left.

Tommy hurried up the steps before Noh could protest. Getting a chance to rummage through someone’s personal belongings didn’t come about often, or legally usually, so he intended to make the most of this guy no one at school seemed to understand.

Finding the room easily, Tommy slipped inside, preparing for a story to unfold in front of him.

Well, there was a story.

Tommy gaped, then stepped closer. He got chapters and chapters worth of Noh’s lifestory laid out before him, and all of it was in a foreign language. Gadgets, techno-bits, not quite a geek’s lair and more like a mad scientist’s lab.

“Damn,” Tommy whispered, looming over some of the stuff. One looked like the effluvia of a computer. Did Noh take things apart? Did he know how technology functioned from the inside out? That was crazy smart if he did.

The only thing that prompted Tommy to strip and get in the shower was the concern that Noh would enter and demand he go use another bathroom. So, with reluctance, he jumped in the shower, and the urge to rush and snoop around ebbed as he bathed in what was the nicest bathroom yet.

In the end, Tommy ended up plugging the drain after the shower so he could laze in the water, which he added soap to for a bubble effect.

Noh finished making breakfast rather quietly, since his conversational partner had departed from the kitchen. He had no idea when his parents would return, they never bothered to tell him anymore since he never did listen. Even when they screamed, and they certainly did a lot of that. It was an uncomfortable, silent equilibrium they lived in now. His foster parents didn’t give a shit what he did anymore and in return, he spent as little time in their presence as possible. And tried his best not to get caught. They’d given up on him and it suited Noh just fine.

When his guest didn’t reappear, he grabbed the plates and went upstairs, depositing the food on his crowded desk (the inner workings of a very, very new computer splayed out for his pleasure) and searched for Tommy. 

Finding him soaking in his bathtub was almost funny.

“I see you got comfortable quick. Are you using my aftershave as bathing gel?” he gave the bubbles a sniff and confirmed his suspicion.

“You know that shit’s expensive right?”

Tommy stretched under the water, then sagged a little deeper at Noh’s comment.

“It feels good,” Tommy said, then hiked up one leg, “plus easy access for shaving if necessary.”

This he could get use to. In a home where Tommy bathed quickly out of necessity, being able to splurge in shower products and the warmth of a bath told him how much he had been missing. Not that Noh’s life sparkled brighter than Tommy’s, but at least he had food, a nice bath, the works.

“I have no plans of getting out so you can stop with that frowning.”

“Did I just make breakfast for nothing?” Noh-Varr didn’t delve to question as to why Tommy would need to do any shaving per say, he certainly hadn’t noticed and unpleasant body hair in his little exploration last night.

It was strange how at ease he felt with this naked schoolmate in his bathtub. At ease enough to return to his room, the door wide open as he began eating, sitting against the foot of his bed with Tommy in sight and easy-to-hear distance.

“You don’t bathe much, or why are you set on becoming a prune?”

Tommy hummed, eyes shut for a moment as the water worked its magic on him. He should crash here often, he decided, at least until the cops came looking for him with his mom in tow.

“I don’t take baths, actually,” Tommy said. “Quick showers. This, though, ah, is like being rich. I’m just missing a butler and servant to feed me.” He opened an eye, smirking at Noh. “I doubt you’d look good in a butler’s uniform.”

Noh eyed the plate he’d set aside for Tommy and for the briefest of moments, contemplated whether he should feed his guest or throw the contents at Tommy, though he didn’t fancy scooping omelette out of his drain.

“Forget it. You either get out and eat or stay in there and...do whatever you feel like,” he’d finished eating of course, but he had no intention of throwing Tommy out. He had no idea what to do with him either though and there was still one heavy topic to discuss.

“What are we gonna do about...you know, the closet thing?”

Tommy had been fine and dandy forgetting about the closet, or more like tucking into the deepest corner of a safe and locking it with a code even he wouldn’t remember. They, or at least he had, been drinking and when one went enough months without some action, sexuality was bound to show up when least expected.

Now that Noh brought it up, the code cracked open just like that, and Tommy took a few precious seconds to steady himself.

“What about it? I was kind of drunk, you had been drinking, and we were probably both annoyed or horny or some combination. I don’t think there’s anything to be done about it.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Noh swallowed as he steered his mind clear of memories and rather focused on the fact they’d been discovered, not how good it felt to finally feel someone beneath his fingers and lips, someone pressed tightly to his body...

“What are we gonna do about the fact everyone thinks we’re gay now?”

Tommy tensed, hoped the bath concealed that. Around a deep breath, he muttered something to himself and opened his eyes.

“Fuck what they think. We’re not gay. I mean...I...I’m not into guys. It was a stupid game, that’s all,” Tommy said, louder and with more infliction than a guy who was going for the nonchalant vibe.

Not to mention the distinct memory and feel of Noh’s mouth on parts of him that would contradict all he said if Tommy took the moment to relive it.

Noh waited for more to come, but it seemed Tommy had spoken his piece and that would be the end of the conversation. It wasn’t his reputation he concerned himself with. He already was an outsider, an alien to their fellow student body and it suited him just fine to be alone. Except when he was lonely, and the threat of that loomed anew despite the closeness he’d enjoyed the night with Tommy.

“...We’re not gonna stop hanging out though, right?”

Maybe the question in itself had been worded too tenderly, but Noh-Varr didn’t want this to be the premature end to a friendship he’d barely gotten a taste of.

Tommy tilted his head at the tone, thinking--no, knowing--he just received a glimpse into Noh-Varr that no other student had gotten, and it had nothing to do with what happened last night. It had a lot of sense to it, the fact that Noh probably craved companionship as much as the normal kids did. Whatever had alienated him from the group certainly had done its damage, if his own fucked up ‘family’ hadn’t done the worst of it yet.

“I’m a popular guy, Noh,” Tommy said, realizing it sounded like the beginning of a gentle rejection. He remedied that quickly. “They’re going to like me enough easily when school comes around Monday, and if they didn’t, I wouldn’t care. So I don’t see how me hanging out with you changes that.”

He shrugged and reached for a sponge that didn’t belong to him, scrubbing gently at his legs and gathering enough lather to warrant a child’s need to play with the bubbles. 

“Why?” he said through his bathing. “Do you want to stop hanging around me? If you do, that’s fine.”

It wasn’t, but Tommy could convince himself of anything.

Maybe his heart had stuttered a little when Tommy began telling him that he was popular, he was one of the kids that despised Noh for whatever reason and decided his existence was beyond their recognition or below it, but the beat resumed when Tommy reassured him in his own way that it wouldn’t change the tender bud of companionship they’d begun to raise.

“I...I don’t care, do what you want.” Again, it lacked the force he attributed to his nonchalant attitude and he scolded himself for it. Way to let Tommy know that his presence actually meant something to the sullen young man.

“Take as long as you want, just don’t flood the floor,” he got up from where he’d been sitting and went over to one of the many constructs in his room, tinkering with the inner workings without real attention.

Tommy furtively watched him, dissecting the tone and its implications. Clearly, at least to Tommy, Noh cared what he did, and it was amazing how obvious it was. Had something from last night altered the mechanisms of Noh’s mind.

Maybe. Tommy didn’t dare ask, refusing to dabble in intimacy.

He opted for a change of topic. First, he had to finish indulging his bath, which meant rinsing, and then huddling into a robe that also did not belong to him. Very comfy. He decided to stick around in it as he gradually went up to Noh, who remained tinkering.

It was almost cute how concentrated the other boy looked. 

“So,” he said, shoving his hands into the robe’s pockets, “what’s all this? Secret lab?”

He tried very hard to get back into his fortress of solitude, but the wall had been breached and Tommy was doing a fine job climbing the battlements and stomping around on tender land. Just the fact there was someone in here, looking at what Noh spent his life with should be a warning enough.

“It’s stuff. You know. From my nightly...adventures,” he indicated a rather complex looking stereo stationed on a small table as if it was a pedestal, “I sell some, make good money from the very people I took it from by saying its a custom build. Ridiculous, when you think about it. They pay me twice the amount this crap is worth.”

Tommy nodded in agreement, though he hardly got any of it. Whatever Noh fiddled his fingers with, all part of the foreign territory he had yet to make sense of yet still pranced around in as if he lived there.

“You’re really smart,” he said, meaning it but not quite intending to have said it.

He roamed toward one side of the room, reaching up and clutching what seemed to be a microchip. A big one. He flipped it in his palms, as if staring hard enough would unveil its purpose and secrets.

“This is really incredible, Noh-Varr,” he said, moving onto another piece of technology that he fancied.

The feeble concentration he’d afforded his work so far found a pathetic end when his eyes strayed to watch his guest pick up pieces and regard them with little understanding. Noh gave a shrug.

“It’s just technology, you know, simple stuff, anyone could take this crap apart, it just takes some talent to put it back together.”

Though he shrugged off the compliment so easily, it churned in his chest. No one ever had any interest in his ‘gifts’, especially not the people he was forced to live with.

“My uh, foster parents think it’s all junk, they got no idea I’ve taken apart everything they own and made it better,” he considered his foster father’s incredibly irritating paper shredder, “or worse.”

Tommy laughed and balanced to objects in his hand, as though he might juggle them. Instead he marveled at them a little longer before placing them down with delicacy unbecoming of him.

“They don’t seem the, uh, loving and supportive type,” Tommy said, then glanced at Noh with genuine honesty. “You’re really incredible, Noh,” he said, unaware of the nickname sounding so casual on his lips, “sucks that they don’t see the gold mine they have right under their stuck up noses.”

The screwdriver was a useless weight in his hand and Noh swallowed down any ridiculous notion of thanking Tommy for saying something like that. There was no way he was going down to a touchy feely basis with a guy he’d shared less than a week and a closet with.

He did grant Tommy the hints of a smile though, one that spoke untold volumes about how much Tommy’s little comment did actually mean.

“Alright, enough with the flattery, do you want me to cut you in or what? If you’re still interested in my night time hobby, that is.”

Tommy stepped closer and made himself at home on Noh’s bed. Damn, even his bed trumped what cardboard Tommy had to call a mattress. There, he lazed on his back, stretching and contemplating the offer.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m always up for some cash. I’m in. When do we start?”

“Next week. Wednesdays and Thursdays are good,” Noh looked over now to where his newfound friend lazed on his bed. He decided he liked having Tommy around, even here, in his inner sanctum that he did not share. Maybe he even liked him on his bed. The memory of sleeping with Tommy in his arms after hearing what he sounded like during orgasm struck him at that moment and his eyes travelled over long, perfect legs. Tommy was actually really...rather gorgeous. Even in broad daylight.

“...sorry bout the trouble with your mother this morning. You can...crash here if you need to, you know my parents really don’t give a fuck what I do.”

Tommy grunted at the mentioning of his mom, memories he preferred to chalk it up to being fantasy. Though at the mentioning of hanging around here more often, that he didn’t have problems with.

“Yeah,” he finally agreed, “I rather have parents that left me alone than what I got, plus her new boyfriend.” Tommy waved it off, though he unconsciously touched his mostly healed wrists from where Kyle had seized them, threatening to snap them. He almost did.

“I need to sneak into my room later while she’s out and grab some clothes at least. I don’t know how long she’ll put up with it before calling the cops.”

“I could give you something to wear so you don’t have to go in my robe,” Noh did appreciate the revelation the piece of clothing gave him, but he hardly thought it appropriate for sneaking around any places and especially in aforementioned daylight.

“Just use the balcony,” he held up a hand before Tommy could object to the notion, “all Romeo jokes aside. My parents don’t give a fuck about me, but they sure as hell can’t know you’re here, or they’ll insist on the stepford family bullshit routine and that’s the last thing I need. I’ve been to enough military school summer camps to regret fucking that up for them.”

“They won’t even know I was ever here,” Tommy said through a chuckle. “I wouldn’t want you carted off to military school, though I can see where you probably got those abs and shoulders from.”

He rolled onto his side to look at Noh, still smiling.

“Though if I’m crashing, I’m claiming the bed. Fair warning.”

“Seriously?” Noh eyed his own bed as if it was the first time he’d been made aware of its existence. Its massive existence.

He was on the verge of making a comment that if Tommy was going to let him lick his ass he sure as hell could share a bed without a complaint, but bit his tongue to force that one down.

“I’m not agreeing to that, you can fight me fairly for it later.”

Tommy snorted, but his humor had yet to wane. Something about hanging around Noh-Varr fueled his mischief and general sense of feeling good. How, he had no clue, not with the guy sitting in front of him hunched over wires and chips.

“Sounds like a plan, just don’t cry when I win,” he said, sitting up. “Any chance we get to do some fun today or do you plan to fiddle with your toys all afternoon?”

“Depends on your definition of fun, though if you’re gonna stay in that robe, there’s only so much fighting I can do with you before you end up streaking. Unless that’s your thing.”

Noh chuckled to himself, a vision of a naked Tommy streaking through the streets with his middle fingers raised at the world. Quite a lovely vision, too.

“You know, I can pretty much break into any car and get it moving. If joyriding is your thing, we got a plan.”

Tommy burst into a grin and hopped off the bed. “No you fucking can’t,” he laughed, already shedding his robe and bullying his way through Noh’s things to find something that might fit.

Joyriding was a hell of a lot of fun, but rarely people did it nowadays with the gadgets and anti-theft prevention mechanics. If Noh could seriously break into a car and get it running, well, Tommy might just elevate his level of coolness a few degrees.

“I see you’re a non-believer, so I’ll have to prove it to you. Any car, any place, you name it.”

Noh-Varr was perhaps getting a little ahead of himself, but the confidence in his own skill was pretty unsurpassed by anything else in his life and impressing Tommy felt paramount.

Tommy considered that, and not all how giddy he felt, how...good he felt really despite the shit morning and the fact that his life in general sucked in many ways. He hardly thought over that though, knowing there was always someone who had it worse off.

Like the poor fool they were about to take a car from.

“Got it,” Tommy said, light bulb turning on. “There’s this sweet ride I see at our school a lot. It belongs to a senior. Can’t remember his first name. Something Michaels. It’s that nice Jaguar car.” Tommy smirked over his shoulder. “Think you can tap into that?”

“I can tap anything,” alright, he needed to put his brain to mouth filter back into place, really, he was losing any edge he remembered having here in this teenage competition or whatever it was.

“But wouldn’t it be better to do that during school? I’m not fond on mondays, I wouldn’t mind ditching. You know, take the car, do a victory lap so he can see, then ditch the rest of the day.”

Which would, undoubtedly, land them in major trouble, but Noh really didn’t care. His grades didn’t take any dips despite his misbehaviour.

Tommy frowned to himself at that image. Trouble he could handle, but he had buried himself in enough of it that he would be suffocating if he pulled a stunt like that. To relay that concern and why it troubled Tommy, however, would not reach Noh’s ears.

Instead Tommy face him again after yanking on a shirt a little too big on him.

“What? You’re afraid to carjack on someone’s property?”

It wasn’t just a little too big, it fell down over Tommy’s shoulders, the sleeves trailing too wide open for those arms and all of his defined, slender figure was billowed by the shirt’s width. Well, Noh didn’t mind, he kind of liked his shirt on Tommy. Not that he was going to ponder the implications of why that thought might please him.

“Naw. Just thought it would be more interesting, you know? Taking a car from some house or garage is pretty dull stuff once you’ve done it enough times. But whatever floats your boat man.”

“Monday is forever away anyway,” Tommy said, figuring he’d have to do with his usual jeans and the baggy shirt. 

Oh well. At least it smelled good in a comforting kind of way.


	4. Chapter 4

The Michaels had a mini-mansion more than a house, and Tommy instantly knew right then he wanted to own a house at least that big one day. Even the botany put most gardens to shame and made Tommy’s apartment blush.

A gated community had its downsides, but that hadn’t broken the stride in Noh’s steps as he hauled Tommy over to the other side without a hiccup. Whatever magic he had done to the security box seemed to have work, for Tommy held the sight of a glorious car, a panther lunging at the front of it, unawares that it had become their victim.

Tommy gave a low whistle and tugged up the shirt over his shoulder. It was now becoming a bit of a nuisance to hike it up all the time; he decided to let it fall.

“I can taste those leather seats,” he whispered, smiling over at Noh from the shrubbery they crouched in. “How the hell are you going to get in?”

“Have faith, Tommy,” Noh-Varr wasn’t about to reveal any of his techniques, not that he could anyway, the machines spoke to him in a language that didn’t translate into words. The alarm for the perimeter had been easily forced into co-operation and so would the security of the jaguar, if he could craw beside it, and use the small device he’d been tinkering with all morning.

“Just tell me if you see anyone or anything,” he hissed as instruction before scampering over to the car, expecting Tommy to follow and be his lookout. With his concentration on attaching two small wires to the lock and staring at a minescule screen, he couldn’t possible keep an eye on the perimeter.

“Come on baby....open up.”

It barely took half a minute before the locks inside the jag clicked, the doors releasing and Noh-Varr throwing himself into the car on the driver’s side. He still had to deal with the gate, but he’d thought of that ahead of this moment. It began to swing open. 

“Get in,” he called, sticking an odd little loop of metal, attached to his device, into the keyhole and the engine gave a roar.

Tommy gaped, really ogled the sight of Noh confirming what a genius he was with things of tinkering and fiddling. Without further prompting, Tommy crawled in, then hopped in the passenger seat, thumping on the fine leather.

“What a beauty,” Tommy said, rifling through the glove compartment. “Classy,” he announced, holding up a string of sealed condoms.

Noh pressed down on the gas, propelling them from the car’s carefully parked spot out to the streets, enjoying the growl of the engine and the purr of power all around. 

He glanced over to Tommy, the condoms striking a very poignant idea into his mind on how to use them, especially with his shirt drooping off of the younger’s shoulder.

God damn it, these thoughts had to stop.

“Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool. Cause, you know, he’d never be able to afford child support.”

Tommy laughed hard, probably as a product of how smooth yet aggressive the car’s engine acted, purring at the right moments and roaring when it soared over the asphalt. A thrill rushed up his spine and tickled down to his toes as he glanced over at Noh-Varr driving like he was meant to.

“No, he couldn’t Doubt rich daddy would appreciate that,” Tommy said, waving the condoms in his grip. “Think we should keep these?”

Noh-Varr nearly swerved into oncoming traffic, eyes entirely trailing over Tommy instead of keeping on the road. Damn it, Tommy wasn’t helping him stomp out the hope of a repeat of the previous night in him.

“You got someone in mind? I don’t have much use for ‘em.”

“Nah, not really,” Tommy said, ripping one open as curiosity piqued his attention. He sniffed and then licked the latex, breaking out into another fit of laughter. Really, if someone had told him he’d be enjoying the breeze of a stolen car licking a condom for fun today, he might have socked them in the jaw.

“They’re fucking flavored,” he said. “I bet he wears these for blowjobs. I don’t like condoms but have to use them with girls because their fucking ovaries and uterus, and all that. I don’t plan to be a dad anytime soon, thanks.”

“What’s the point of a blowjob with a condom on? I never got that,” no, the ones he’d gotten had been au naturelle, so to say. And mostly given by guys, but that was neither here nor there.

“Hold one out of the window, I saw these guys do it on youtube, looked funny as fuck.”

Oh yes, if he had to age himself at this very moment, he would come to a staggering 12 years of adolescent age.

Tommy did so, now on an endless supply of laughter as the condom ballooned. When they passed by a car, he flashed a smile, and with a ‘snap’ the condom drifted off with the force of a wind, off to bring joy to another two boys who had the mental maturity of someone half their age.

“Well, there goes that one,” Tommy said, leaning up in his seat to stick his head out the window. He spoke louder to compensate for the wind disruption. “And I agree. But he probably uses them for the girls too adamant about sucking some random, naked dick. I know not all of them are fun to put into your mouth.”

He didn’t catch on that his voice spoke from experience, and he was glad he was up and leaning out of his seat, blush for the sun to see and not Noh.

The temptation to look over at the ass presented to him, the one he’d paid tribute to last night, was too great. Noh trusted in his reflexes to swerve should the matter get out of hand, but his eyes took in the sight, barely listening to Tommy anymore. Otherwise he might have picked up on the damn things he’d said.

Luckily the street they were on was relatively deserted and the Jaguar roared along undisturbed.

“Come on, get back in here, what are you a dog?” Noh’s hand was on the back of Tommy’s jeans, tugging insistently but without real safety concern. Maybe he just wanted rest his arm on the guy’s ass.

Tommy wiggled at the grip, pleased as the wind whipped his face, making him feel that much more alive.

“What’s wrong with sticking my head out?” he called back, a small, muted part of his mind alerting him to the hand close to his ass. Pretty damn close, at that.

And the memories that flooded right behind it.

Tommy did slip back in, weighed down by the feeling of Noh’s mouth on him and, fuck, of all times to feel and remember all that. It didn’t help that he panted now, regaining his breath from grappling with the wind moments earlier, and his hair was a bit tussled, face flushed. God, he must have looked like he just had sex. Talk about awkward timing.

Clearing his throat louder than necessary, Tommy rubbed his hands on his jeans and shrugged.

“Come on,” he said to Noh, “take us somewhere with a view. I’m sick of these damn houses and picket fences.”

“God, you’re a fussy date, Shepherd.” Noh-Varr complained, rolling his eyes and letting the jaguar howl a little as they took a turning onto a different road, eventually leading to a dirt track. It would be a great view indeed, one of those movie quality hilltops that overlooked their shitty town and glossed it over as some pretty scenery and nothing more.

The jaguar’s tires sent up a spray of dust, coating the pristine car in a nice, visible layer of dirt as it bounced along the uneven track.

Eventually, Noh parked at said perfect viewpoint, turning the engine off and just sitting in silence for a minute.

“Looks pretty nice from up here, doesn’t it?”

Tommy had to agree, yet couldn’t find his voice to do so. Now that the car had parked and nature trickled through the opened windows, Tommy felt incredibly stuffy. Tension lined every nook and cranny the car had to offer, and he had no clue why.

Or he did know and refused to acknowledge it.

“A nice day tends to have that effect from a distance,” Tommy said at last, a little shakily. Maybe.

He popped open his door and hopped out, then climbed onto the hood of the car to stretch out there with his back against the windowpane. Fresh air, an abundance of it, and still Tommy felt like he was in a sauna.

“I wonder how many times he’s thought about bringing a girl up here but then didn’t because he rather fuck his car than a girl.”

“You do know how to ruin a moment, don’t you?” Noh commented, now dislodging himself from the car and finding it in himself to counter the cloying smell of nature all around by lighting a cigarette and leaning against the jaguar.

It was still a pretty terrific view though. 

“Maybe those condoms were for the exhaust pipe. You know, wouldn’t want to knock up your ride, right?”

Tommy snickered, relieved when the sound crept out of him normally and without a hitch.

“You know, that’s probably right,” he said, sitting up at the scent of tobacco. “You got the whole bad boy thing down, don’t you?” Tommy waved off the odor and crawled toward the edge of the hood. “Though I guess it’s not like Michaels. Wannabe. He even owns a leather jacket. I know because I stole it and I think I left it on the field a few days ago.”

Talking was good. Talking kept the...tension(?) at bay. Tommy grew restless, as he often did, though perhaps more so and quicker than typical. He got off the hood completely and walked toward a large tree half the width of a car and started wandering around it in circles, using only the gnarled roots as stepping stones.

Noh-Varr watched him go, feeling much like they both needed this and far more. What the hell were they even doing? Driving a stolen car around, talking about this poor son of a bitch who didn’t know which hole to stuff his money into...was this anything but pathetic?

Noh felt odd, despite the tension in his chest, which he thought had been the craving for a smoke (it wasn’t). It was unsettling and comforting to be alone with Tommy. Tommy didn’t ask him questions that bothered him, Tommy didn’t tell him how to behave or what to do, and yet, Tommy didn’t entirely disregard him either.

He was a white-haired little conundrum of conflicting thoughts. Noh followed him over to the tree, though he didn’t join in the frantic motion of skipping around roots.

“You ever given any thought to what you want? In life?” It was a heavy question, sure, but when the hell else did you have conversations like this?

Tommy looked up at Noh’s question, but didn’t pause in his hopping-slash-skipping on the roots. The pressure around him swelled with the other boy’s presence being that much closer.

Shrugging, Tommy didn’t mind the inquiry at all, probably because it had been Noh who had formulated it.

“You sound like my old therapist,” he said, smiling. “Who knows what I really want. I’m barely sixteen, no job, among other things. I guess I don’t see myself at thirty on the street turning tricks for some crack addiction, but who does? But I’m not really avoiding that path either.”

Tommy stopped hopping and looked out to the town below them. When he spoke again, his voice came much softer, void the hard edges that most people at school knew him by.

“I want a nice house,” he said. “Nothing big. Enough room for a game room, maybe a home gym. I want my own pool. I want to live somewhere where I’m close to the mountains but not far from the ocean. Maybe work from home or on a hands on kind of job. That’s all I really want. That, and money to travel every part of the world I want. I don’t want to just be...here, sitting, waiting. I want to do things, Noh.”

Noh listened carefully and painted a picture of it in his mind. Tommy, in a house as grand as he wanted, Tommy doing something that had him up and out of the door with enthusiasm every single day...it was a nice picture, and Noh yearned for something as clear for himself.

But when he considered his own future, bleak isolation painted his canvas black. There was nothing and no one he wanted to succeed for, no nice house, no job that could be rewarding. There was just this drain he was circling, possibly as some criminal given his thievish talents.

Was that something he even wanted? Noh puffed on his cigarette, staring at a world that wanted to yield nothing to him.

“I think you will. You got something, Tommy. Something that’s gonna take you away from here.”

Tommy scoffed and leaned against the tree, arms crossed.

“If anything, it’s the determination to ditch this place in two years and do what I want,” he said, imagining it to be as easy as he said it to be. He peered over to Noh and shrugged one shoulder, deciding against asking him what he wanted. Somehow he imagined Noh held little expectations in life. Maybe life had shown him enough to warrant that thought.

“Wish we could just take this car and drive out of state. Run away for two years until I’m eighteen.” He flashed a half-hearted grin. 

“We could,” Noh pondered the possibilities. With his skills, making money to get by would be easy. Hell, he could dive into his predestined criminal future early like this. And with Tommy by his side, he might not even be bored.

But what kind of life would that be? Could it really help, running away from all this again? To become...delinquents, or whatever you wanted to call it, all before really even graduating highschool?

Tommy rolled his eyes and pushed off the trunk. “Yeah,” he said, “because that’d be the sweet life. I can suck up two more years here.” He thought so anyway, with enough willpower.

It had yet to reach afternoon, and Tommy allowed the crisp air most known in the morning to relax what tension laced his limbs. This was probably his favorite time of the day, but rarely appreciated it when closed in by whiteboards and views onto a track and field. 

The hill they perched on contained a deep slope on its side facing the town. Tommy could see the blades of grass sweep with the pull of the wind. Very enticing.

“Come on, Mr. Badass,” he said.

As childish as the day had promised to be, Tommy let himself go further by lifting his arms up and crumbling to the floor, letting the hill drag him down, rolling down, down, down, making him dizzy and that much more disheveled, and having a good time all the way down.. 

Noh thought that Tommy might be sick of the scenery and hanging around here, so he was all the more surprised when his friend dropped down and began rolling down the hill. Nevermind the grass stains or whatever, what the hell was Tommy even doing?

The weird little whoo!s accompanying his descent had Noh smile pretty stupidly. Tommy was a weird kid, but fun. Hard to imagine being sexually attracted to someone who arrived tousled and stained in green at the bottom of the hill.

“Did you seriously just roll down a fuckin’ hill?!” He called from the top, standing by now, hands in pockets. No way was he doing that.

Tommy rode out a long laugh, patting his abs and staying splayed among grass and dirt and possibly some insects. From his position he could make out Noh’s form at the hill’s peak.

“I did and it felt great,” he said, making no point to leave his spot. Having a nice home with a huge backyard or front yard became a must for his future self. He tried to envision someone like Noh-Varr doing the same, and broke out into a grin. 

“Party pooper,” he called. “You’re so fucking stiff, you know that? You should let loose. Let that tension go. At least come down here, you prick.”

“Did you spend your childhood in a crate or something? So you feel you gotta make up for it now?” Noh descended the hill in a series of slides, steps and a tiny jump at the end that didn’t ruffle his hair. He’d brushed most of it back, but two long, persistent ‘antennae’ liked to hang in front of his face like some sort of style icon from a rock magazine he was too young to have ever read.

At least he let himself fall down into a seat next to Tommy, too aware of how...adorable the younger looked with his hair mussed up and his clothes, too big anyway, a ruffled mess.

“Can’t decide whether you’re cute or a dork.”

Fuck, he didn’t mean to say that. Ever.

Tommy had watched Noh-Varr descend with relative ease. In the back of his mind, he labeled Noh-Varr cooler and cooler the longer he hung around the alienated schoolmate. Shame and a bit surprising more people didn’t flock around Noh. The guy oozed sex appeal in a...mysterious, dark kind of way.

By the time Noh seated beside him, Tommy had run through various scenarios of Noh making out with...guys? Did he even like girls? Somehow he saw Noh more fitted against a male body than a girl’s. Maybe it had to do with the strength a guy had, in general, and Noh looked the type who liked conquering a challenge.

Tommy really needed to stop fantasizing about these things.

He did the moment Noh called him cute. Sort of. But he practically did.

Tommy blinked, face already flushed at least.

“You think I’m cute,” he blurted out, unsure how to process that. A lot of guys, mostly girls, thought he was cute in a clownish sort of way. The way Noh had said it though...

“Um, thanks,” he thought he should add. “Sorry. I mean, you’re...really cool, but I’m not...into guys.”

“Definitely a dork.”

Noh-Varr already regretted opening his mouth. It was enough that he couldn’t stop thinking about getting Tommy off, in every possible way, did he have to go and put it out there like it was a possibility? He was terrible at flirting, it never had been his strength and he’d just ruined the comfortable atmosphere they’d had. Good job Noh-Varr, it was no wonder people didn’t stand his presence long. Not that he cared. Being alone meant having no weaknesses and maybe, having a friend, as nice as it seemed, would take that from him.

“Look, uh, I wasn’t trying to hit on you. I mean, I swing both ways but, I can put a lid on it.”

Great, just confront Tommy with awkward sexuality issues, that would surely make for riveting conversation.

“Oh.” 

Tommy realized how much his fantasies loomed closer, coming to fruition. So Noh liked boys and girls, yet that didn’t confirm if he preferred one over the other. Agitating such thoughts were Noh’s hands deep in a memory, touching him in areas that had lured Tommy closer to orgasm until it had creeped over him by surprise, too soon to blame on the alcohol even.

“No, it’s, ah, cool,” Tommy said, studying the sky. “But...I mean, I can still have your bed to crash in, right? Or...if you rather not, that’s fine. I can still find somewhere else to do it.”

“I don’t really...bring people home,” Noh felt awkward now, this topic was looming further and further into what he considered to be a very private topic and Tommy didn’t need to know. Tommy, with his glorious hips and his fantastic ass which may or may not serve as food for fantasy in moments of privacy.

Noh almost regretted not having sex with Tommy, because it certainly seemed like it had been his only chance.

“Don’t worry if I do, we’ll just fuck on top of you.”

Tommy’s unease dissipated with his laughter. He kicked out his leg and shoved Noh’s side with his bare foot, having stripped his shoes prior to a hill roll as custom dictated.

“Geez, thanks for thinking of me, perv,” Tommy said, nudging Noh again. Suddenly he had an older memory rush back at him, harmless at that. It consisted of bare feet and back massages, and if Tommy had a less than lucid mind, he might have employed his feet for such an act right now.

Holding back, he said, “It’s fine though. If you do bring someone, I mean. Not to insult you, but you seriously look like you need to have one of those hard fucks to relax you, you know?”

“Thanks for that, dick,” Noh snorted, severely doubting the truth of Tommy’s words. He didn’t need anything, especially not a hole to stick it into and if Tommy meant he looked like he needed to get fucked, he’d be walking home. Not that he particularly wanted to send the younger to his home, Noh had offered his house for good reason.

“Trouble with this place is there’s only so many faces, and I prefer not to fuck around with someone twice. And especially not with the crappy dregs at our school,” distaste was on the back of his tongue at the thought of the redhead who’d pawed at him the night before at that stupid party.

Tommy remembered the same girl too, the way she melted at the sight of Noh and turned on him just as quickly. A bad taste landed in his mouth at the sound of her voice.

“I think it’s convenient to fuck the same person, if you both know what you’re getting into. Though I guess you don’t really have that kind of...friendship available,” Tommy said, hauling his arms up over his head. 

Strange as the conversation might have been, or how that tension rolled in and out like a wave, this was nice. Grass tickling bits of his bare skin, Noh’s company, the great weather. Felt too good to be true given the type of crap life tended to gift Tommy.

“You know,” he went on, “you could easily have anyone you wanted at the school. It’s their loss though. I mean, no duh you got a nice face and body, but you got that bad boy aura, but you’re also wicked smart. They’re as dumb as your folks are for not seeing how great you are.”

He glanced down at the boy beside him, not really understanding how Tommy could openly say all these things about him without more than a week’s worth of his company. If he was so easy to read, why was Tommy that only one that bothered to open the cover? 

His hands found the grass, ripping small bunches out, nothing he did consciously, but it served to placate his unease with Tommy’s compliments.

“Okay now I know you’re just bein’ slick because you love my bathtub. It’s alright, Tommy. I know where I stand with...everyone, they don’t bother me and I ignore them. It’s how it goes. It’s how I like it.”

But it wasn’t, otherwise he wouldn’t be so desperate for Tommy’s company, would he?

“I know you’re fine,” Tommy said, believing it as much as he believed he himself could satisfy what needs other people failed to do. “I’m just saying, it’s kind of amazing in a bad way how blind they are. I figured you for an ass, and you still are, but I knew you were...I guess different. Or had something special. That’s all.”

He shrugged and peered over, finding the guy tearing at mother nature’s hair. A smirk crawled over his lips at how kid-like this big dude could look. Tommy should have contemplated those implications, that Noh-Varr looked this way around him, but brushed it aside.

“And I don’t just say that for the bathtub, though I do claim it as my own,” he said. Quietly, he pushed up onto his elbows and gathered a patch of strewn grass from Noh’s yanking. Thinking the guy seriously needed to stop looking so glum, Tommy snatched Noh’s shirt, providing enough of an opening at the top to litter all the grass in his clutches down a strong back.

Noh-Varr would have been fast enough to react if his mind wasn’t miles away, contemplating the fact that his life didn’t exactly suck, but didn’t fill him with optimism either. Tommy did, however, fill his shirt with grass and he gave an insulted little yelp as the torn grass blades tickled at his skin in a way that had him arch his back to try and escape. When that proved no relief, he yanked his shirt off, giving Tommy an unbelievably offended look as he swatted at his back to try and stop the grass from falling into his pants.

“You little fucker!” he did sound a little bit brighter with the insult though.

Tommy couldn’t recall laughing so much in one day, let alone in the company of the same person, less so with a stiff like Noh-Varr. The way he had squirmed and arched, scrabbling at his back had provided enough to last him the rest of the day with humor.

It should have been fucking hilarious that he felt the need to remove his shirt, and it was, until Tommy spotted marks spotting a thick neck, one close to the shoulder even. Instinctively, Tommy touched his own exposed neck, wondering how many dotted his skin.

Well, shit.

Last night felt far more dreamlike than an actuality. The hickeys plaguing Noh’s pale skin contradicted that.

The shirt that hardly covered Tommy’s shoulders and collarbone might as well have been nonexistent.

“Shit,” he breathed, forcing his eyes to hop away when he realized he had been staring and said it aloud. “Um...just, well...sorry. Don’t remember doing that. Don’t remember much of anything from last night,” he lied, tugging on strands of grass.  
The complete reversal of their behaviour had Noh-Varr stop and stare with all the intelligence of a cow, or maybe an oxen. What had Tommy been on about? He looked down at himself, seeing nothing but his ripped body as should be, then his gaze wandered to the slight edge of a dark mark on his shoulder and he understood. Tommy had really laid into his skin last night, sucked and bitten marks onto Noh that should have faded with the haze of the alcohol. And yet there they were.

“Ah...don’t worry about it,” he shook his shirt once more before slipping it back on, keen to cover up the evidence of the delusion of Tommy wanting him.

“Look it was...we both had too much to drink and so what if we made out a bit and I got you off? It’s not like I fucked you, so...” still awkward though. Because Noh definitely wanted to fuck Tommy, he knew himself well enough for that.

Damn that stupid fucking genius, Tommy thought. He plucked harder at the grass, face all pinks and some deep shades of red at the wording. Up until now, he had sufficed to believe he had not gotten off, that the closet had been the extent of their, ahem, interaction.

Yet now it had been shoved and rubbed in his face, and Tommy wondered just how much Noh-Varr suspected alcohol had been the impetus to it all.

Tommy couldn’t help but ask what had been nagging at him that one time he had realized what had occurred last night.

“Why didn’t you? Fuck me, I mean...”

Noh’s mind was giving him a lovely play-by-play of the scene that had occured in Tommy’s room, on his bed. The way he’d been allowed to lavish attention to a perfect body, the way Tommy approved and praised him by moaning and writhing for more...Damn it, if he was alone, he’d be palming himself to bliss right now just thinking about it.

But he had to keep calm, shrug his shoulders, play it off as nothing much.

“Wasn’t in the mood. Not like you were really, you know, all there. It’s one thing to give a guy a sort of...well not blow, but you know what I mean, and something else to fuck him when he’s too drunk to say no, you know? S’no challenge or fun in that. Sure, you got a hole to put it in, but you didn’t earn it. Ruins it for me.”

Tommy lifted his head, still very much riding out the pink problem. The words percolated in his mind, and he juggled between frowning and smiling at the ‘gentleman’ label Noh had just earned himself.

“That’s strangely...chivalrous of you,” he said, maybe a tad relieved in knowing he hadn’t been taken advantage of. “Being drunk had never stopped them before. Hard to imagine someone like you of all people would...well, nevermind. Um...”

Shit, shit, triple shit, he needed to shift gears quick.

“The challenge thing totally suits you,” he said, forcing a smile to combat the funny feeling in his stomach. “So, what? You like to just...I don’t know, wrestle and see if you can pin them down and drag your prize to the cave? I gotta tell you, you got the strength, but you don’t seem fast enough.”

Noh-Varr took careful note of Tommy’s tripup and it struck him as extremely obvious that something unpleasant weighed on his friend’s mind. This was thin ice for him too and that sort of forged more of the companion feeling Noh was oddly attached to in this situation.

He wasn’t going to pry. Well, not right now, anyway. He needed to have Tommy off-guard for something in that direction.

“Believe me, I can be fast. And it’s not a cave I drag them off to, but yeah, I’ll admit, there’s a fucking triumph in it, you know, whether someone was playing hard to get or just plain not interested. To land in bed with them after is pretty damn amazing, doesn’t really matter who they are. That’s how I found out I don’t...you know, I’m not strictly into fish tacos.”

“You did not just fucking say that,” Tommy said, kicking him lightly again. “And you call me the dork?”

He grinned and rolled over, brushing off some loose grass and dirt as he stood up. When Noh-Varr didn’t move to copy him, he nudged his arm with his foot again. 

“Up, up. I have to tell you, being fast is sort of my specialty. I’ve actually been thinking about joining the track team,” Tommy said, stretching his limbs. “To make it interesting though, you and I are going to race.” He pointed to a large tree that shaded a good few yards all around it. “Whoever reached that first wins and the loser, hm, the loser, well,” he mulled that over, “okay, if I win, you have to cook all my meals for three days and buy bath salts for my bath.”

“Oh come on, make it interesting at least. Make it something I care about,” Noh dusted off the last specks of grass, flexing lightly and inhaling deeply. He was a good sprinter, but long distances were the death of him, not to mention his smoker-lung objected quite bitterly to extended periods of running.

“We could race for the bed. I’m not entirely sure how you decided that MY bed was going to be your exclusive right anyway.”

Tommy had hoped for some free meals and luxury-feeling baths, but he did need a bed, and he had his ass and back set on Noh-Varr’s. Shrugging off his previous demands, he nodded and finished the last of his limbering up.

“Fine, bed it is,” Tommy said, coming to stand beside Noh-Varr. “Count of three. One, two...three!”

Noh burst forward, strength pumping through his legs, the goal wasn’t really the comfort of his bed, it was a notion he could easily dismiss. Not so defeat at Tommy’s heels. That was entirely unacceptable and he’d be damned if he wouldn’t touch that tree first.

But Tommy was fast, despite the lack in his previous bragging, this one actually seemly deadly accurate. The lean body was pulling alongside and beginning to pass. Noh-Varr didn’t think about it, not one second. He would not lose. He waited until Tommy was half a pace ahead of him, grin on his smug damn face, then Noh lunged, smashing his heavier body into Tommy’s at the cost of his footing. They both went sprawling on the floor.

Tommy’s lungs, his blood, everything about the run ignited his fervor. Gaining a bed would be the cherry on top of it all, the bulk of his delight in beating Noh in something he genuinely had affection for. Running was his thing, and he was killing it when he reached past Noh, so close to touching the tree. He had a victory dance prepared.

A massive weight tore all that out from under him, and panic seized Tommy until he realized Noh himself had been the cause of his demise. The bastard had tackled him!

They crashed hard, grass and dirt their cushion, and thankfully not the gnarled roots, but there was no rest for the weary. A wrestling match broke out, Tommy shoving and intending to pin Noh-Varr for acting like a sore loser, for stripping him of his victory.

Tommy may have had the race in his pocket, but Noh had this paroxysm of anger, annoyance, and a few other choice emotions. His strength easily outdid Tommy’s thrashing, speed doing nothing to help him shove over the bigger body.

Plus, once his back struck the ground, the wind stole his breath, and then there was nothing save for Noh-Varr over him, their bodies pressed together, fitting just right given the circumstances.

Tommy’s heart clamored for reasons unrelated to the run.

Noh-Varr hadn’t thought about it, just sweeping along on this current of what his body told him, to defend himself when Tommy came scrabbling and clawing for his victory. It was the easiest and most natural thing in the world to pin the younger beneath him and Noh-Varr took a moment to throne upon his stained, winded victim.

Only when Tommy stopped struggling did he feel the heat bleeding through both of them and his body warmed significantly, pointedly from his loins upwards. Tommy was tucked so nicely beneath him, he fit against him as if someone had crafted them to...

“Draw?” he panted, though his breath was not taken by the race or the wrestle.

Tommy swallowed, skin prickling at the way Noh’s voice came out. Through herculean effort he willed sense back to him, leaning away from the center of the world that was Noh-Varr. Somehow that backfired, the grass against his skin more ticklish, the breeze bathing him with more chills.

“The hell it is,” he managed to say. “I won. You cheated.”

And fuck was he feeling really warm, but they were under the shade.

“Fine,” Noh settled back, really letting Tommy feel the weight of him as he drew up his knees, ass firmly on Tommy’s midsection, maybe even lower, he didn’t want to think about it. Just keep acting cool and there would be no reason for anyone to freak out.

They were friends, right? Friends got a little physical with each other, and it was no big deal.

“I’m not letting you up until you agree to a draw or a defeat on your part.”

Tommy balked, a strained sound losing itself in his throat--though from the shift in position or Noh’s declaration, one could debate.

“No fucking way! I won!” Tommy wiggled and squirmed, then cried out in frustration, and nothing more really, that he couldn’t budge under Noh-Varr’s weight. “You cow! What the fuck does a draw mean? We alternate days and every other Sunday? That’s my bed, I won it. You’re being a brat.”

“You’re the brat. That bed is huge, we could divide it fair and square if you could get over your stubborn ass.”

Noh-Varr looked amused, especially once Tommy struggled beneath him and achieved nothing. There was a difference of muscle between them that could keep Noh on top of Tommy all day, even if this wasn’t the most pleasant of positions he could imagine.

“Listen, you can keep twitching and jerking, but you’re a twig, Tommy, I can do this all day.” For emphasis, he fished a cigarette from his pocket.

Tommy thumped his head back, groaning and pinching his eyes tight. Fucking fatass had a point, though there was nothing but muscle on Noh’s limbs, and Tommy felt it too easily when he writhed for leverage.

Fucker, shit, fucking damn it.

Tommy exhaled hard, opening his eyes again and insisting to himself he felt warm from the exertion of running and flailing around. Nothing more. There was nothing...appealing with Noh on top of him, or what kind of thrill Tommy got from having someone worthy of pinning him done. Not in the slightest.

“Fine, we’ll...call it a draw. Fucking happy now, you sore loser?”

“I didn’t lose though, did I?” Noh smirked, practically from ear to ear, tugging himself off of Tommy and standing as if nothing had ruffled his demeanour at all. This was going to be an interesting....way of spending time together. Tommy and he clashed, that much was certain, but Noh enjoyed to a degree. A very big degree. One that congratulated him on the compromise of sharing the bed.

“According to you, we drew. No losers around here, except maybe the one covered in dirt and grass,” he nodded down at Tommy, lighting up the little cancerstick.

Tommy wiped himself off after lazing in the dirt a little longer, stewing in his own collection of malaise, most of it born from either Noh’s words or actions. When he finally got up and grumbled all the while, he noticed Noh looking too pleased with himself.

Stupid fucker cheater.

Tommy made a show of picking himself clean, letting the stains alone where they latched onto Noh’s baggy shirt. After a moment of his sulking, he waited until Noh-Varr blew out a puff of smoke, and then lunged at him, tackling him straight down with the use of momentum alone.

Now that was something Noh had not anticipated and he went down with the grace of a falling tree, body giving a little aching crack when they hit the ground. Tommy had certainly knocked the wind from him and he spluttered, coughed, flung the cigarette from his fingers.

“What, you still want more? Didn’t get your ass kicked enough?”

Tommy anchored his knees on either side of Noh’s hips, though it would do nothing when Noh planned to roll over. Still, Tommy smirked, smugness riddled through his face that he had managed to catch Noh-Varr off guard. Prior to what Noh’s reaction might be, he scrambled off, dancing a few feet away.

“Please,” he said, “you’re the one who can’t handle an ass-kicking, sore loser. Why don’t you stay down there? You look good looking like you’ve been outdone by me.”  
“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Noh leaned on his elbows, watching Tommy move around like an eager puppy that had just encountered another dog for the first time. He supposed he should be grateful Tommy had not remained on him, because he doubted his self-control would have held up much against the feeling of Tommy’s body close to his.

“I’ve been defeated by a hyperactive twelve-year old twig, oh the shame.” He gave a laugh, an awkward sound from his throat, as if he hadn’t attempted one in years.

Tommy stopped dashing around like the pup he was proving to be, the sweet sound of laughter filtering through the air. Something about a guy’s sexy laugh really did something to the tips of his toes.

Tommy paled. Had he really thought that?

Instead of pondering whether he had or not, he reminded himself of his irritation at being cheated out of his win and marched over the laughing fool.

“Who you calling a twig?” he asked, driving his heel into Noh’s ribs. “This twig knocked you down onto your ass and beat your ass in running. You would never catch me had you not tackled me. So I think you need to take a look at yourself in the mirror.”

Noh gave a little grunt at the feel of Tommy’s foot in his ribs, but it was by far too mild to be considered a kick. 

“You know, I’ve seen myself in the mirror enough to know that I could beat you at just about everything else. But if you wanna make it fast we can just compare right now and you’ll see who’s the bigger man here.”

Tommy straightened, chin up at the words. What images tried to creep through his fortress about Noh-Varr ogling himself in the mirror were dealt with first before he spoke.

“Why not? Right here, right now. Let’s go.”

“Seriously?” Noh doubted Tommy was agreeing to a show of privates for the sake of their masculinity, but there really was no other way to interpret his words right?

He got up, feeling a little tingle as his hands went to his pants. Of course, he preferred no underwear at all, but the jeans he wore made for an unpleasant cage at the most awkward of times. The zipper noise was entirely too loud for comfort.

Tommy seized up at the grating sound of the zipper going down. Fuck, had this been taken too far, taken too seriously? Clearly, with Noh-Varr reaching into his pants. Noh-Varr knew what Tommy looked like, what he felt like, and it only struck the younger of the two now that he had no inkling to Noh’s private bits that were now becoming not quite private.

Heat exploded in his cheeks and down south, so much so that Tommy had to turn on his heels, back to Noh-Varr.

“Um, this is...totally stupid. Forget it.”

“I take it I win?” Noh couldn’t deny the absolute smugness of his tone as he packed himself back into the jeans and zipped up. Not quite his usual show of masculinity, but for the sake of shaming Tommy into even turning his back, it had been worth it.

Of course, he knew what Tommy looked like, felt like, he’d held his shaft in hand, pumped it until the younger dissolved into sweet bliss, along with knowing some other delicate areas of his body. God, how he craved for a repeat of that night now. 

“Yeah, I win. Though you know, you don’t have to turn away like a little girl. I’ve heard from plenty its quite a nice sight to behold.”

Tommy glared at the ground, calculating what it would take to regain enough points to surpass Noh-Varr. When nothing but Noh’s cock came to mind, its girth, its--

Jesus.

Tommy scrubbed his face, scolding himself. He didn’t like guys. Just because he had...done some stuff didn’t mean he was into them. He liked girls. Girls. Not Noh-Varr. Who wasn’t a girl.

“Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night,” he said, voice lined with tension. There was a tree nearby he leaned his back against, in much need of the support. He studied Noh-Varr, eyes tempted to graze down farther than was appropriate.

“Cock size means nothing,” he added, shrugging. “Haven’t you heard the expression, it’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean?”

Tommy was winded from something beside the race or the wrestling, that much was clear. Noh marvelled at how easily their interaction see-sawed, between his and Tommy’s level of confidence partaking in the conversation. It was a weird dynamic, but one he could definitely appreciate, considering his social life equalled silence.

“Trust me, my ocean’s motions would leave you gasping and spent.”

Alright, that was obvious and Tommy had set him up for it perfectly. More surprising was how willing he felt to prove exactly the truth of that statement to the younger.

Tommy shuddered, words and the night before clawing up his spine, refusing to leave him at peace. Things went up and down at the turn of a dime with Noh-Varr, leaving Tommy gasping and spent for sure, not that he would supply that knowledge to anyone.

“Yeah, well, enough talk about cocks. I could go for some pizza and a beer. Let’s take the Jaguar.”

Around a weak chuckle, Tommy pushed off the trunk and made his way back up the hill, abandoning his mixed feelings down there in the dirt.


	5. Chapter 5

Monday was a horrible day. Not that it was the prospect of classes and teachers and material he could learn better in his sleep that annoyed Noh-Varr, but it was the rumour that had spread like absolute wildfire around school. Oh yes, the party events were definitely in rapid circulation, and top of the pie was his and Tommy’s makeout session in the closet.

He’d all but pushed it from his mind, but the glances, the groups of girls that kept looking at him and the looks from the guys spoke silent volumes. Whatever. He didn’t care. He was into guys, girls, whatever came beneath his touch and so what if a bunch of stupid kids thought he had the hots for Tommy.

Headphones and music took most of his irritation away, thankfully. Noh plugged himself in as he stalked out of his classroom for lunch. Probably a solitary affair behind the bleachers again.

Tommy had braced himself for damage control Monday, and its execution came about far easier than he had calculated. Last night he had slept back at his place, not wanting the cops to be involved, so he didn’t get to chat about what he and Noh would do rumor-wise.

At least for Tommy, after a few well placed smirks and comments, the popular heads that ran the circuit of rumors gravitated back around him. Many of them teased him, saying he had to watch out for Noh who clearly wanted to plow him. Tommy shrugged it off, telling them all this or that, whatever it took to appease them without insulting Noh-Varr. He wasn’t up for that, and even curbed a few tongues on the matter that kept pressing it.

Somehow this whole makeout business had elevated Tommy in most eyes, as if he had just pulled another prank, only better and bigger. People even invited him out to lunch, and he bristled with the idea of Noh alone at the bleachers.

Nah, he had told them, making up some feat about getting some alcohol or meeting some babe at a fast food joint. 

Just as he shut his locker and prepared to find Noh--and think about what the hell to say to him--a hand at his back pulled his attention over.

“Hey, heard you got bombarded with a bunch of questions today.”

Tommy smiled at recognizing the face. Nate was one of those rare, nice guys, who somehow managed to stay relatively popular without disgracing himself in one fashion or another as was customary. A little too good, for Tommy’s taste, but he had been nothing but friendly during their English and History courses together.

“Yeah, well, when that kind of things happens people talk. People love sex and all things related to it,” Tommy answered.

Nate smiled and removed his hand, placing it back on his backpack strap.

“Well, I heard you were busy at lunch but I thought you might want to consider partnering up with me for the literature project.”

Tommy quirked a brow. He hadn’t expected that. Or the...sort of dreamy look Nate gave him. Subtle, yet not enough for Tommy’s quick analysis. Nate also leaned a little closer than most guys preferred, and yikes, was this a come on?

“Uh, sure,” Tommy said, smiling a bit. “I haven’t gotten a partner for that yet. You sure you want to put up with me?”

“I think I can handle you,” Nate said, the smirk a little too playful.

Noh-Varr was fully prepared to have his lunch alone behind the bleachers. He noticed the shift in the way people talked about him during the breaks, Tommy must have gotten onto the ‘circuit’. He briefly wondered if his friend had spun the tale, twisted the words and situation to shed the blame onto Noh rather than his fragile popularity. Noh wouldn’t care, he convinced himself of that. This was like swimming in a pool of sharks and it was every man for himself.

Especially him. He didn’t have the option of swimming in a group of sorts, but that was the way it was and he never had tried to change it since third grade, when it became apparent that he not only was way beyond the intelligence range of his peers, but also found himself unable to follow their trends of values. He was his own person, and that had to be enough. People, counsellors and therapists had always told him that if you were yourself, people would like you.

Noh was the living argument against that philosophy.

He was passing through the hallway when he glimpsed familiar white hair. His stomach churned and he paused. They really needed to talk. But when he came closer, he noticed Tommy already had company. Noh unplugged his headphones and stilled, trying to look inconspicious as he ventured close enough to listen in without being noticed.

Back to Noh-Varr, Tommy concerned himself far enough to assume his companion was grumpily munching on whatever sustenance he had brought with him to school. Still, he couldn’t just abandon Nate, not yet, and Tommy did like him more than the other guys at their school. Not to mention Nate was a senior, earning Tommy bonus points.

“So, how about...tonight? You can come to my place,” Nate said.

“Yeah, that sounds cool.”

Tommy said nothing about how Nate’s eyes sparkled at the confirmation. Either Nate was really desperate for some action, which couldn’t be the case given how well off he was at the school, or he genuinely liked Tommy, which was more absurd.

“Here,” Nate said, taking his arm gently to scribble on Tommy’s open palm. “My number and address.”

Tommy had to laugh at the type of parchment used. “Yeah, got it. So, what? Around seven?”

“Seven’s perfect.”

There was something cold gripping at his throat and clawing its way down to his stomach, seizing it and refusing to let go. Nate Richards, a guy he only knew from the well-made commentary he gave in physics lessons and alike, was writing on Tommy’s palm. If anyone should paint a picture of someone arranging a date, it would look like this.

He didn’t know why, but lunch was no longer necessary. That grip from before was slicing razors over his insides. So Tommy was going...on some date with a guy? A senior, like Noh, just a whole lot nicer and well-liked. What happened to not liking guys? 

The only logical conclusion was that Tommy had lied to save face, to spare them both the embarrassment of a true rejection.

Noh-Varr swallowed hard and mechanically put his headphones back on. He didn’t want to see Nate’s stupid happy expression or the little smile on Tommy’s face. In fact, he didn’t want to see anything of the school and its pupils again today. Looked like he’d ditch the afternoon.

Tommy spared a good-bye to Nate before hitting the bleachers.

Noh-Varr wasn’t there. Tommy tried around back. Not there either. The bathrooms? Not a sign. In fact, a comb of the school and Tommy still found no sign of white hair like his own, no nothing.

Unsure, Tommy melted back into the flow of classes. Noh didn’t pass him in the traffic of students, nothing. Tommy would not admit the pain in the gut came across as concern or something worse.

By the time school got out and still not a scrap of a clue had presented itself, Tommy ended up heading toward the moderately nice part of town with a couple of beers and some food, all plucked from a nearby liquor store. Had Noh gone home? He had seen him in the morning, at a distance anyway, so he must have ditched.

Tommy’s steps felt heavier as he treaded on. Maybe the rumors proved a force even Noh’s skin could not bounce off. Tommy picked up his pace and reminded himself to tuck around back instead of knock at the front door.

It took some time, but with the sudden, raw nerve being pressed on, the one that urged Tommy to find out if Noh was okay, he managed to shimmy up the tree and swing over onto Noh’s balcony.

“Noh?” he called, knocking on the glass window of the sliding door.

He had ditched from lunch onwards. When he returned home after a stint to a bar that opened at noon and was familiar with his face, his ‘mother’ had been in. The ensuing shouting was minimal, she was far more irritated that he smelled of alcohol rather than the fact he ought to be at school. With a scowl of what Noh might call absolute resentment, she’d grabbed her bag and driven off to her pilates class with that hispanic instructor whom she was definitely having an affair with. Not that Noh cared. If this ‘perfect’ family shattered any more, it would be comical.

He didn’t feel much like laughing though, the picture of Tommy and Nate worming its way through his mind in a manner that suggested he needed to cut all ties to hope. What the hell was he even hoping for? Tommy was NOT interested. 

That point had finally gotten through to Noh-Varr, which was why he was here now, blinds down and music cranked to the max on his headphones as he dragged his punching bag into the room for a little release of pent up tension he hadn’t realised had built up. Again.

An hour of punching didn’t help his mind, but it did relieve him of energy. He showered listlessly, got himself something from the kitchen and settled himself at his desk, laptop open and attached to plenty of gadgetry. He stared for a good long while, sipping at the soda, trying to decide which secure server to hack today to get his mind of things, and something like an idea slipped into his thoughts.

He’d tried, ever since he could use a computer, to find a trail of his true parents, but never to any avail. He didn’t know anything about them, not why they had abandoned him as an infant, not even their names. He knew he’d been given his name by the workers at that orphanage, based on something he babbled as a baby. Noh-Varr. What kind of fucked up name was that anyway?   
His last name had changed three times before settling on Mercer. It was one he could live with, even keep, and best of all, it wasn’t the name of the couple of idiots he was supposed to call parents now. 

Noh-Varr Mercer. He snorted as he looked at his school, medical and criminal record. He sure passed through the system often enough...he wondered if their spellcheckers still put a red, dotted line beneath his name or if it had come up so many times they’d added it to the dictionary...

Weird, mundane little things like that pulled his mind away from why he was in such a mood in the first place.

Hours later, he didn’t hear a thing, engrossed in reading his psyche evaluation after the longest stint in juvie. He didn’t even hear Tommy’s voice, words like “withdrawn” “emotionally unavailable” “at serious risk” drawing his gaze.

Tommy sighed, scanning his options from outside. Noh-Varr must have been home. He knew it. Gut feeling, he decided, and he had no plans to wander off until he saw him. Why did he care enough to check up on him? Guilt? General feeling of comradery since they sat together at that lab?

Whatever it was, it shouldn’t have been enticing enough, important enough for Tommy to be wasting his time dawdling outside on a balcony.

Yet...

Tommy fished out some tools from his pocket he hardly used as of late. A few metal sticks, some wire, basics for a thief, though nothing as extravagant as what Noh-Varr used to crack into homes. It got the job done with some cursing on Tommy’s part, the handle to the sliding door creaking in protest before sliding open at his insistence.

Tommy pocketed his stuff, grabbed his bag, and peered through the drawn blinds, spotting who he was looking for. The sight of Noh concerned him more than if he hadn’t seen him. 

This Noh, tense in the neck, absorbed by the screen, stern face, did not match Tommy’s Noh.

“Noh, I’ve been looking all over for you,” he said, even reaching out to touch a broad shoulder. What possessed him to do that, he opted not to know.

At least he wasn’t absorbed enough to ignore the sound of the sliding door and footsteps in his room. There weren’t many people that would come stomping into his room, let alone over his balcony, but that didn’t help him relax his shoulders any.

Tommy’s touch on them was something poisonous and he found himself jerking away from the grip.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than to break in here?”

Tommy did a double take at the turn in behavior. What had Noh biting him in the ass that his very aura acted as a buffer to him.

“Jesus, hi to you too,” Tommy said. He analyzed the day and settled on the most probable conclusion. “Hey, listen, I didn’t say anything about you regarding...you know, the closet. So you don’t have to be an ass and think I put you under the bus.”

As he spoke, he fished out the beer and set it on Noh’s desk.

He might have appreciated the beer before the onset of the storm in his mind that had him turn this simple gesture into a thinly veiled attempt to garner his favour despite the rejection. Maybe he was useful to Tommy, maybe he was just what the younger passed his time with. He didn’t know. He didn’t trust anyone and the feeble bridge he’d been building to Tommy was due for a tearing down.

“I don’t care, even if you did. Or didn’t. Whatever. I don’t give a fuck what anyone says about me, for all they know I’m sleeping with everyone’s mom and dad.”

Tommy settled at the edge of Noh’s bed after depositing a sandwich for the guy that morphed further and further into a nasty brute. Taking a swig of his own beer, Tommy backpedaled and calculated what he had missed.

Still nothing.

“Okay, what the fuck’s up with you? You’re acting like I stabbed you in the back or something. Is this about Saturday night when I, um...sort of pressed up against you? I told you I didn’t know I had done it. I always grab my pillow and hug it when I sleep so, you know,” Tommy cleared his throat, “it wasn’t to piss you off.”

Maybe this was the part of him that kept people at bay. Noh didn’t know, and he told himself over and over that he didn’t care either. 

Tommy was still here, talking of something completely unrelated that had Noh roll his eyes. Typical. Of course he acted oblivious. He didn’t know Noh had cottoned onto his lies, hadn’t spotted him because he was too busy arranging his date. With a guy. Another senior guy.

Noh-Varr had never torn into a sandwich so angrily in all his life. He chewed as if it was his last meal before battle, rushed and nervous and angry all in one.  
“I just,” he snapped when Tommy didn’t shut up about irrelevant snuggling that may or may not have been intentional.

“I’m not pissed off about that. I’m not pissed, just...not in a good mood.” Well, it was almost the truth. Somewhere downstairs, someone shouted his name with the outrage befitting the battlefield he’d made of the kitchen. Footsteps thundered up the stairs.

“Hide!” he hissed at Tommy, stuffing the rest of the sandwich into his mouth.

Tommy stared, mind racing to catch up to Noh’s mood and the sudden order. Not risking to uproot the latter, Tommy dove for the closet and tucked himself into a corner. He picked the one that offered a slight view if he angled his head at the room due to the slits on the door.

Fucking Christ this was not how he planned for his Monday to go at all.

Miranda Williams was not a woman who lost her calm often, but when she did, it generally traced back to the rotten morsel of humanity she called adoptive son, no matter how much Noh-Varr refused to accept the fact he belonged to her and her husband.

“Noh-Varr!”

The room door flew open to reveal an attractive, enraged woman in the beginnings of her forties, a pretty face with an ugly mask of anger she quickly schooled into something dangerous and cold.

Noh-Varr made no attempt at hiding the beer, he simply closed his laptop and stared at his so-called mother.

“What?”

“How many times do I have to say it? What have you done to the kitchen?” she began moving around the room, opening the blinds with the harsh, angry energy of an irritated maternal unit, straightening the messy covers of the bed and eyeing the bottle of beer with a displeased half-sneer.

Noh just shrugged in response to her question. Clearly, this was a frequently held conversation.

Miranda made a noise, her throat thick with fury, “You’re drinking again? I told you not to do that here. You can go drink with whatever scummy friends you can find, but not here. What if the neighbours saw you? What if someone saw that you live here, looking like that?” 

This time it was Noh’s leather jacket that ended up pitched into a corner with obvious disgust.

Again, Noh showed himself incredibly passive aggressive by shrugging and nipping at the bottle.

“I do live here, and I look like this.”

“Yes, but no one has to know about it! What would they think of us? You’re such a selfish boy, can’t you, for once, think of something besides your stupid toys and computer? Honestly I prefer it when you stay out day and night, at least then I don’t have to suffer this...this battlezone in the kitchen and that horrible noise you call music!”

“You could try earplugs.”

Miranda made another outraged noise, before she finished her round of the room and ended at the door, handle in her grip.

“If I find the kitchen trashed one more time I am going to talk to your father about this!”

A last shrug, “Ain’t my dad.”

The doorframe shook with the impact of the slam shut.

Damn Noh-Varr's foster mom could melt ice with her voice, whereas Tommy's mom could shatter glass. Unable to not compare the two, Tommy listened more than saw how this woman coiled around her anger, striking at the right moments and victimizing remnants of Noh's chaos, no doubt done on purpose to aggravate her. If it were Tommy's mom, she would have no control over her anger, allowing its claws to flail about and tear down what it reached, usually it being Tommy.

Noh's not-mom never inflicted her anger on the skin of the source of her bane. She was still a bitch though, dolled up and full of shit.

Tommy had to smirk at how composed Noh was throughout the entire ordeal.

Once the area had been cleared, Tommy crept out and looked at Noh.

“Wow,” he said, keeping his voice low. “We’re a couple of bastards, aren’t we?”

Noh-Varr gave an exasperated sigh, wandering over to fish his leather jacket out of the bin his parent had banished it too, brushing a few paper bits and junk off of it.

“I think we can appreciate some similarities. Maybe they’ll meet at the ‘I hate my son’ anonymous meetings...”

He looked worn though, now that the furious storm had passed by.

Tommy watched him, thinking Noh could use some sleep. A vacation, actually, a long one at that. A chill tried to work its way up the ridges in his spine at how familiar that face was, since Tommy had witnessed it more than once in his own mirror, often mottled with bruises or scrapes.

For a while, he said nothing and sipped his beer. The urge to do something, to fidget, to act, took hold of his internal mechanisms and orchestrated his legs to approach Noh and, stupidly, crazily, foolishly, touched his upper back.

“Hey,” he said, “there’s a pep rally at school tomorrow before lunch. I was thinking of ditching it and checking out the room above the auditorium. Maybe have an early lunch there, watch it from above kind of thing.”

The hand at his back was nice, even if he would have appreciated an entire person pressed to him. But the hand was more than he usually had, so he’d take it despite his earlier, dark musings revolving around Tommy.

“Pep rally. Tch, I think they’re all peppy enough as it is, they could do with a demotivational rally... They can call it the ‘you shitheads will get nowhere in life’ parade...” Noh shook his head and necked his beer, looking at Tommy with an edge of confusion, but mostly appraisal.

“Sounds like a plan...”

It was now or never.

“Speaking of plans, I doubt you’ll be staying tonight, right?”

To admit delight flooded through Tommy at the confirmation fell below his pride, so he settled for acknowledging the smile on his face. As quick as it had arrived, it withered, and an absurd idea, yet the one with most sense, slapped him out of nowhere. Noh’s tone at the questions said everything he hadn’t.

Tommy lowered his hand and moved to face the taller boy.

“That’s what put you into this mood?” he ran a hand through his hair, gathering his thoughts. “Fuck, Noh, are...were you listening on me when I was talking to Nate?”

“No!” Noh-Varr spat, finding something to focus on somewhere beyond Tommy’s face, instead admiring the perfectly clean corner of the ceiling which had contained cobwebs this morning. He ought to install a security system into his room, his mother was too damn nosy even if she understood nothing of what he kept.

“I just saw you talk. Like a little schoolgirl with her fuckin’ senpai, that’s all. Is he taking you out for cherry blossom viewing or to a photo booth?”

Tommy had to laugh, a bit of hysteria lining it. 

“You’re fucking jealous!” He couldn’t not point at Noh, accusal shooting down to the fingernail. “You listen here. First off, if you weren’t busy thinking I wasn’t your goddamn property you might have figured out that we had just agreed to partner up for our English project. Or is that not okay? Second, yeah, okay, maybe he has a little thing for me, but he’s a good guy and knows a lot more about this project than I do, so stop thinking I’m suddenly going to go fucking around with him.”

Ranting came rarely, and only when enough nerves had worked up within Tommy to do so, particularly the raw kind. Hence, why he shoved Noh hard in the shoulder.

“So watch how you fucking talk to me because I don’t belong to anyone,” he said, louder now, voice fueled by memories he wished he could forget, “and why don’t you fucking man up to your fucking behavior, acting like a damn kid who has to share his toy. If you want to fuck me just fucking say it and let it out, and stop acting like you’re so fucking tough when you’re just as vulnerable and weak as everyone else!”

That wasn’t it. Why wasn’t he opening his mouth and telling Tommy that? It wasn’t that. Noh knew he was jealous, but he was damn sure he was over the fact he wanted to maybe get into Tommy’s pants again and not watch some damn ‘nice guy’ get chosen over him.

It wasn’t about that at all.

But how the hell was he supposed to say this shit when he’d only just figured it out himself as Tommy accused him in a tone as sharp as his mother’s, only these words struck into him like sword strikes.

Noh swallowed hard. The little bridge from before? Tommy just torched the fucking pillars and ripped out every supporting brick he could find in one fell swoop. 

This was what happened when you let people in, even a little bit. They turned, they got angry, they threw everything they knew about you at you and demanded you to be sorry for it.

“You know what, just fuck off. I don’t need to hear any of this shit coming from you.”

He was brimming on the edge of a breakdown and his heart was thumping so loudly, he was pretty sure it echoed around the room.

Tommy told himself he should have shut up, knew how bad his tongue got him into trouble. Before it didn’t matter, but the moment he saw Noh’s face shift under the verbal assault, Tommy recognized he had gotten in trouble again, and this time he cared. A lot.

He opened his mouth, nothing fell out this time.

Tommy sucked in a breath and gathered himself, glowering at the floor for a moment before saying, “Look, I...Maybe we need time to cool off. I...didn’t mean...”

Fuck, he couldn’t say anything to make amends, not before, not now. Tommy screwed his eyes shut and abandoned his miserable attempt to apologize, shouldering past Noh and scrambling back down the tree as he had done to get there.

He’d really fucked things up.


	6. Chapter 6

Tuesday came, Monday evening passed by decently with Nate (Tommy was an expert in chameleoning), and Monday night trundled by in between bouts of pain.

Of course that night more shit had to go down. None of it though had hurt like the face Noh had seen him off with. It haunted Tommy as he dragged himself down the halls for Bio, which he had Noh as a partner for.

He had missed first period, having slept in more than he intended to. Tended to happen when you passed out instead of get lulled into a nice round of sleep. Already he passed Bio’s intro by fifteen minutes.

When Tommy finally hauled himself in, he heard people murmuring, and almost sneered at the gasp his far too vocal, meek teacher made.

“Thomas, what--”

“It’s nothing,” Tommy snapped, then amended his tone. “Got into a fight over a girl. You know.” He cracked a smile, ignoring the pain on his split lip. “I won though.”

That earned him a couple of chuckles and the majority of the atmosphere returned to its lazy-studying state. Though that atmosphere never did reach Noh-Varr, and Tommy couldn’t directly look at him as he took his spot next to someone he still wanted as his friend. 

The friendship, or rather, the tender hand extended between them, had gone up in flames the moment Tommy opened his mouth to tear into Noh-Varr in ways that no one had found in years. 

There was no glance, not fraction of attention Tommy could garner from the senior. No greeting and no acknowledgement happened at all.

Noh-Varr hadn’t run into any fists and he’d slept, so despite his state of mind, he looked the same as always. But the way he subtly curled away from Tommy, shoulders defensively stiff and eyes rigidly focused on the front should tell Tommy all he needed to know. He’d fucked up. 

Noh knew he had fucked up a little too, because he should have told Tommy, before the other went off like a verbal nuke, why he’d felt so astonishingly jealous. Someone like Tommy didn’t come along often in Noh’s life. Heck, actually, he’d been the first. Noh-Varr’s first, actual friend, someone he’d taken a chance on when he shouldn’t have.

In time, he’d learn how to stop his stomach from churning at the sight of Tommy.

Tommy neglected a greeting, feeling stupid for having prepared one in the corner of his mind. Noh didn’t look at him, even turned away from him. Seemed that was that.

What aches from the dents in Tommy’s body had been a nuisance now burned from the inside out, and he felt isolated at his table though Noh sat a mere few feet away. It remained that way at the teacher droned on and heavy texts cracked open to the lesson plan.

Tommy had little mobility in his wrist and allowed Noh to handle that stuff as he let it rest in his lap. More than once he glanced at the boy beside him, debating how to apologize, how to tell him he had let other things cloud his logic and motivate his rage.

Just as he thought about scribbling on a piece of paper, Tommy felt his head swim a little. A quiet groan left him, and he pushed back the feeling of boulders piling on him. He managed to tear out a page from his notebook and wrote ‘Sorry’ on it, intending to write more, but his hand swerved, then dragging down, down, until Tommy went off the page and his body collapsed off the stool.

The loud crash had everyone’s attention and a few startled screams as Tommy toppled down like a rock. The mousy teacher nearly jumped out of his skin, rushing forward to gather his pupil from the floor. 

Noh-Varr froze, finally allowing a glance down at the boy he’d been avoiding for almost an entire hour. Tommy looked pretty bad, why the hell had he dragged himself to school at all in that condition? The idiot probably had some sort of concussion or whatever and was only making it worse by pretending it was less than that.

“Can someone take...Noh-Varr!” the teacher and majority of the class looked at him now. The biology room wasn’t exactly filled with people of his build, actually the only other ‘big’ guy was that jock Michaels, who wasn’t even here today.

“It’s your job to care for your students, not mine.” he gruffed at the panicking teacher, causing disbelieving whispers to break out at once, a few girls even looking disgusted by his words.

“I will give you your damn A on this assignment, just take Shepherd to the infirmary now, Noh-Varr!” the teacher sounded halfway to hysterical.

With a sigh, he slid from his chair, wrapping arms around a body he knew a little too well. At least Tommy was light.

If Tommy had been moderately lucid, he would have blushed, and possibly liked the feel of Noh handling his body with little difficulty. As it was, he hardly remembered where he was or the date when his eyes finally opened, sooner than expected, just as Noh had deposited him to a white, uncomfortable bed.

“Wha--” He waved off hands, belonging to a nurse he would recognize in a moment. “Mm’fine.”

“Stop trying to get up,” she said to him.

Tommy, more agitated by her tone, flapped at her hands and shoved himself up, then regretted it when the world spun. In that tilting world though, he caught glimpses of Noh-Varr, and his eyes widened.

“Noh,” he said, resisting the urge to vomit over everyone’s shoes. “Wait,” he said, slurring, and whining when the nurse bullied her way into his field of vision. “Move! I need to talk to him.”

She was saying something, and Tommy had to forcibly shove her away before Noh was safe and very much there in his line of sight again.

“Noh,” he said, “I’m so sorry.” It all came out a bit loopy, but he didn’t care. He had to say it. “I got angry and I’m sorry. Fuck, I really like you, okay? I just...fuck I think...I’m going to puke. No, go away!” He snapped at the woman again. “Listen, Noh, I don’t give a fuck if...whatever you know, just...I like you. I want to hang out with you. I said what I said...I was upset. I know you’re not...like those assholes. You’re cool and--”

Maybe the words would have prompted more of a verbal response if Tommy wasn’t looking like he might be part of the Exorcist cast at this very second. The nurse was trying to give him a bowl or something to vomit into, but he kept pushing her away, as if talking to Noh took priority over everything else, literally.

He sighed. They could and would talk, but not like this. And not right now. He grabbed the bucket in the corner, shoving it against Tommy’s chest as he stepped next to the bed.

“Just shut up and barf, you look like shit. I’ll be here when you feel better.”

Noh must have held the key to the cage where all of Tommy’s feelings piled up into one mass that ended up gargling up his throat and out into the bowl. The nurse placed a wet, cool towel at the base of his neck as he heaved up mostly water, having had nothing to eat since Nate’s place last night.

When he spent himself and his stomach, Tommy shuddered and leaned into Noh, never quite feeling like garbage.

“I don’t feel well,” he muttered, as if he just realized that.

“You have a bruise on your head. A nice bump. When did you hit your head?” the nurse asked, sparing him no respite as she fiddles through his hair.

“Last night.” Tommy pressed closer to Noh the more she invaded his space.

Tommy might not have been a pleasant sight or smell to behold, but Noh didn’t move an inch, allowing his...friend? to press close, to find some security, some solace in his presence.

The nurse kept running her hands over Tommy, checking for further injuries and talking incessantly, keeping Tommy awake, even if complaining.

Noh’s hand move to the younger’s shoulder, the other took the wipe the nurse handed him as he cleaned off Tommy’s face. Again, the nurse was too close.

“He’s probably got a concussion,” he didn’t notice his hand rub circles at Tommy’s nape, “he should be taken to hospital.”

Tommy grunted at the mentioning of the hospital, burying his face deeper into Noh’s shirt as the nurse prodded and poked him. At one point she claimed his shirt and shoved it up, and the sound she made had Tommy cringe.

“I’m calling for an ambulance now,” was all she said, gesturing to some other person nearby, nurse, teacher, Tommy didn’t know. 

“No,” Tommy tried to say, though it came out as effective as a moan. “No hospital. Mm’fine. Stop touching me!”

His shirt was going to smell with Tommy breathing out his sickly odours against it, but Noh found himself minding very little. Tommy was hurt pretty badly and he’d definitely need to go to the hospital, but the reluctance in him was obviously strong enough to propel him into attempted speech.

The nurse’s wrist found itself in Noh’s grip and he pried her hand away.

“Look, they can examine him at the hospital, he’s in pain and he’s freaking a little, just keep away.”

Noh didn’t know when the protective instinct had been triggered but it made its presence known as he lowered another arm around Tommy.

“Would it be better if I came with you?” he asked Tommy, quietly.

Within the time it took for Tommy to sniff, he was nodding, not caring right then how anxious and desperate he seemed. Noh-Varr had to come with him. Why, who knew, and what that meant, Tommy couldn’t compute, not in his state.

The trailing hours went in and out of Tommy’s vision, but he remembered the feel of Noh’s chest or arm against or around him, and that assured him he could close his eyes and let what happen do just that.

*

Tommy later would bless what conniving deity favored him at times for having him knocked out during the pricking, examining, prodding, and undressing. Though waking up in a fog didn’t suit his typically sharp mind, it eclipsed the helpless feeling that came from being under a doctor’s hand.

Fragments of the room put themselves together to form a picture. White walls, bland furniture, a television. 

And Noh-Varr. There as he promised, even after the shit Tommy had said. How easy could it have been for him to throw back Tommy’ words in an act of abandoning him to one of the few places Tommy genuinely feared, and might panic over in a while once the drugs waned.

It took him a while to realize he wasn’t breathing completely on his own. A tube looped under his nose, offering a steady stream of oxygen his collapsed lung couldn’t handle.

But whatever the IVs meant or charts said, Tommy wasn’t privy to it. He was looking at Noh like he found something to keep him from ripping the IVs out and bolting out.

“I feel like shit,” he said in greeting.

“You look like shit too.”

Noh hadn’t moved a muscle ever since the doctors allowed him to settle in the room. A brief conversation with the school nurse had assured him as Tommy’s close friend who was vital to his placated state of mind once he awoke. And Noh had kept his promise. It was well into the afternoon by now, the sun filtering through the window only serving to bathe Noh’s stark white hair with an orange glow to contrast his eyes.

“I have some bad news for you, Tommy,” he began, looking quite solemn and still, eyes cast down in dejection.

“We had to amputate your genitals, on account of you being a huge dick. I’m sorry.”

Tommy wasn’t in the condition to laugh, but at that corny line, he did, and he cried out and laughed more, cried out, and laughed again. He must have made a miserable sight trying to get his giggles out when his sore body protested it.

When he could breathe without the sharp pain spiraling down his side, he collected his voice, rough as it was, to talk.

“I was,” he said. He sighed and looked straight ahead. “I was talking more to myself than you when I said all that. Guess we both are kind of wound up tight. I...I am, you know...sor--”

“Thomas Shepherd?”

Tommy tensed, dropping all sympathy he had conjured up for Noh-Varr. The doctor smiled at him, her smile not at all soothing him. He hated hospitals and those that labored within that monster.

“Glad to see you’re up,” she said. “You had quite a few injuries.”

Tommy knew that tone. She was building up to something. Forgetting Noh-Varr, or rather placing him aside, he said, “I’ll be fine.”

“Your friend here told us that you told him you got into a fight,” she said. She didn’t believe him in the slightest if her voice said more than she was willing to admit.

“Over a girl,” Tommy added.

She gave a strained smile. “We called your mom. She’s sending your dad to come get you. I told her you could go home tonight if you check--”

“My dad?” Tommy asked, and he hoped she was dumb enough to not pick up on his own tone escalating.

“Yes,” she said, resting a hand on his arm. “Kyle, she said. But, listen, Thomas, there’s an officer out--”

“Fuck that.”

She seemed taken aback by his sharp tongue. “He just wants to do a follow-up--”

“I said no. It was a fucking fight and I’m not ratting out who it was with.”

Noh-Varr could do nothing much but sit there and listen, watching the doctor’s face turn to shock at Tommy’s vehement denial. He figured there were only a handful of people out to get Tommy the way he’d been gotten, and judging by Michaels’ mysterious absence, he would bet money on the fact it was him.

He had half a mind to tell the doctor which name to give the officer, but then reconsidered his tender reconciliation with Tommy. Which he couldn’t simply betray.

Noh’s concern still lay with what the doctor had said before that though. Kyle. He remembered the voice, the vicious barrage at the door, even the bruises on Tommy before Noh even layed one tentative touch to his skin...

“I could take him home,” he offered, “really, s’no reason to trouble Kev...Kyle. Yeah. He lives close to me anyway.”

The doctor looked over, taking in Noh’s form and what his presentation said about his character.

“Yes,” Tommy supplied before she could ponder too much on the notion. “He’ll take me. It’s on his way over. He’ll get me there. Besides, it’s a buzzkill having my...dad take me back. He’ll just yell at me for fighting with other guys. I rather have the ride home quieter, you know.”

He played the role perfectly, smiling at the right moments and gesticulating casually at others. 

“Alright, we’ll let her know,” she said, though Tommy already disregarded whether his mom agreed to the idea or not. “But I’m afraid the officer needs to speak with you.”

“Aren’t you my doctor? I have a fucking headache. Tell him or her to piss of.”

She pinched her mouth into a fine line, but sighed and nodded, seeming to agree that her patient required rest. How many other patients of hers, rape victims even, had to endure a cop’s bullying in the name of justice?

Once she left after a once-over and a few words Tommy already waved off, he sagged back into his bed.

“Fuck,” he said to Noh. “I hate doctors.”

“So do I,” Noh sighed, sinking back to his place besides Tommy, then returning to his feet, restless now he knew that this Kyle character was on his way over.

“We should get you dressed and go. We’ll have to borrow a car...and I don’t particularly want to run into your mother’s lovely scumbag.”

He paused at the foot of Tommy’s bed, hand on his friend’s leg, just a brief touch, more of a brush.

“Look...we both fucked up. Granted, you a little more than me, but...You’re my friend Tommy. I don’t have a whole bunch of those,” an awkward little pause was enough to tell Tommy he was the only one to carry that title, “and...I guess I freaked out when I saw you hanging around with someone else. I like spending time with your stupid face, alright? Now get some pants on.”

Tommy’s smile reached down to the very spot where Noh touched him, the gesture warming him in the godforsakenly cold room. They could talk it over, make up, and all that stuff later. Noh-Varr had a point; they had to get out fast.

Removing the tube came first, then the IVs.

“Fuckity fuck,” Tommy hissed when he sat up at the edge of the bed. “Oh. Shit. I can’t stand. My right hip is killing me. I think. I am...kind of dizzy. The fuck did they give me? I feel worse than I came in.”

So it wasn’t entirely true, since he couldn’t feel the burn and stabs of the worst injuries, but he hated not having control over his cognitive processes.

“Geez, you’re really useless today,” Noh groaned, grabbing the pile of clothing that had come in with Tommy and getting to the side of the bed, fingers opening the thin hospital gown with no hesitation, holding a shirt out for Tommy to slip into. There was no time for awkward blushing or stupid questions, in this moment, time was of the essence. A confrontation with Kyle was sure to end in a fistfight or worse if Noh knew himself and his history with domestic violence inclined people.

Tommy still couldn’t walk though. This time, he couldn’t carry him like a bride, even a dizzy Tommy would object to that treatment, so Noh loaded the younger onto his broad back, legs tugged securely through the loops his arms made as his fingers gripped Tommy’s thighs.

“You’re the most unrewarding backpack I’ve ever had to carry,” he mentioned as he pushed open the room door.

Tommy thanked the lack of time for combatting his funny feels and blushes that otherwise would have triumphed. There was a tingle when Noh’s hands gripped his thighs, and the general heat the guy provided as Tommy made himself look like a koala bear.

“I don’t say this much, but thanks,” Tommy said, having little room for digging around in his arsenal of snappy comebacks.

They made a sight creeping out, but once they passed the desk that housed the nurses and doctors that had tended to him, no one minded a pair of guys goofing off and heading for the exit. The sun dragged over the skyscrapers in the distance when they came out to the back parking lot, yet a chill crept under Tommy’s nails.

He realized too late it was because he sensed someone staring, someone whose stare could unnerve him.

It must have been the drugs or the fact that Kyle was sober that Tommy nearly missed him, though the man stood not ten yards away by his nice car.

“Tommy?” Kyle asked, as if not able to believe Tommy had just popped out on the back of some dude.

Tommy’s arms tightened around Noh’s neck.

“You don’t need to take me home,” he said. “I already got discharged. My uh...the teacher assistant signed me out.”

He didn’t know if Noh-Varr was of legal age, but he sure as hell could pull it off.

“The fuck are you talking about?” Kyle waved at them. “Your mom’s waiting for you. Come on. We gotta go.”

Tommy clung that much harder. “I said no.”

Noh’s grip tightened on Tommy’s hips, he was just as reluctant to relinquish his light burden as Tommy was to get off of his back.

“Tommy’s still got some assignments to, uh, get,” Noh was usually much smoother on the spot like this.

“I’ll bring him home right afterwards.”

“Thanks,” Kyle said, the first time Tommy heard him say it, “but his mom’s really worried. I got to take him now, but I’ll let her know you, uh, helped.”

Tommy snorted from his safe spot, recognizing Kyle’s facade as one of not wanting to rouse suspicions with another adult. Had he been alerted to Noh’s status as a student, he probably would have cared less about not starting a scene.

“Tell her I’ll call her later, God,” Tommy said. “I don’t want to go, okay? Get it through your head.”

Maybe Noh’s presence booted what confidence Tommy had scrounged up at the sight of Kyle. The guy held himself high when sober, and he was taller than Noh by a good two feet, and just as wide. Tommy didn’t miss how his fists clenched.

“Tommy,” Kyle said, approaching.

And Tommy’s breath hitched, jaw clenching. “You’ve done enough,” he said.

“I said. Get. In. The. Car. Your mom’s waiting.” This time Kyle reached out and grabbed Tommy by the arm.

If Noh hadn’t been holding onto Tommy’s thighs so harshly, he would have tackled the man just for the look in his eye. He recognized that one and it sent his blood boiling in all unpleasant ways.

“Get your hand off of him,” he growled, taking a step back, pulling Tommy from the man’s reach once more. His tone was low, there was definitely threat in there and the size difference made no change for Noh. He’d defend his friend, no matter if he’d end up in hospital himself. 

“I said I will bring him home. Now you can get back in your car and drive away or I’ll put some damn fucking bruises on you and see how you like it.”

Tommy’s mouth almost hang open at the words, part in horror and part in mortification. A fine line distinguished the two, but what he mostly noticed was the ugly streak that ran over Kyle’s face at Noh’s language.

No one talked to him that way, not without getting something back for it.

“Watch how you fucking talk to me. You’re not his guardian,” Kyle bit back, grabbing Tommy’s arm on a bruise that had the smaller of the three wince, and then stumble awkwardly half-off Noh’s back.

Before Tommy knew he had done it, he looked at Noh with wide eyes and shouted his name.

It took his entire collective willpower not to murder the man on the spot and instead back up, clearly in a defensive position in front of Tommy. Whatever happened, he was not going to let Tommy get in a car with this man, no way, not over his corpse.

“Well you shouldn’t fucking be. Think you’re a big man and all, beating on a sixteen year old kid? What’s the matter, dick too small to pick on anyone your own size?”

He could fight, he knew that and his body ached for it. 

Tommy knew Kyle thirst for putting someone in their place, one he had carved out in his own delusion, when he landed rear-end first on the asphalt. Above him Kyle loomed, as did Noh, both of them eager to tear the other apart.

The headache blooming in Tommy’s temples was becoming a constant hammering now.

“Who the fuck says I beat him? He probably got that from another fight with those guys he thinks are his ‘friends’. Don’t talk about things you don’t know or I might have to tame that tongue.”

Noh knew he couldn’t throw the first punch, but he was damn eager to taunt the man into a rage, put him in hospital or, if he ended up there himself, sue the living fuck out of him. His parents might not care about him, but they cared about their public face, and if some man beat the living crap out of their son, he could be damn sure they would do everything to make it seem as if Noh was the victim. No matter what the circumstantial evidence.

“I ain’t talking about what put him here, you sick fuck. I’m talking about the bruises from before, and they’re not from fighting. Does it make you feel good, huh? Big guy pickin’ on the little kid? I’ve known fuckers like you all my life and I swear to fucking god if you touch him again I will feed you your goddamn balls.”

Tommy gawked that time, in disbelief, sure as hell this display had spawned from his drug-induced mind. Rage radiated through Noh, far more than whatever insecured-inspired wrath Kyle had been lugging around. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything to stop it.

“You little shit,” Kyle said, too easy to slip into someone’s banter. Tommy would know, having said enough to know what pushed Kyle. As if having sensed Tommy’s thinking, Kyle glanced over at him. “Should have broken your fucking arm last night like I said I would if you hadn’t shut your mouth.”

Tommy bit hard on his tongue, breathing hard though he merely sat there.

“What did you tell him?” Kyle shouted at him. “You running your fucking mouth about what happens in the privacy of our home?”

Tommy glanced at Noh, anywhere that wasn’t directly at Kyle.

“You’re going to get it good tonight,” Kyle said, charging forward.  
That was enough, the starting shot to defending Tommy and working through some private issues of his own. Noh put himself squarely in the path of the man, arms flinging out to grapple at him before he could reach Tommy. Kyle was a big man, and not exactly flabby, he probably downed protein shakes and worked on his body instead of getting a decent fucking personality, but that helped Noh little right now. He saw the fists swinging for him and the reflexes took over. He stepped to the side, letting the punch connect and roll off, bringing up his own fists to strike Kyle’s jaw, then his exposed throat. That earned him a little choke and new fire added to his opponent’s eyes as Kyle made use of his longer reach, getting ahold of Noh’s hair and reeling him in for a decent punch square to the jaw that had Noh’s face ache, but his will to fight only fuelled further.

Utilizing his entire body, Noh rammed his knee into the man’s stomach, twisting in his grip like a very difficult catch until he could throw his body against Kyle’s, causing a stumble that nearly took the both of them down. 

Unfortunately for Noh, Kyle was no stranger to all-out brawls and with a cleverly placed leg, they did go down, Noh face-first with Kyle’s massive form on top of him.

They were fighting and going at each other’s throats like wild beasts before Tommy registered their rage had detonated, two volatile chemicals uniting and causing an explosion right before Tommy’s eyes.

Noh’s grunt at the fall startled Tommy out of his stupor and the scream left him on its own volition. He was in pitiful shape, no help to Noh, but that didn’t stop him from finding the vigor to drag himself to a crawl and partially limp over.

The instant he saw a doctor leave, probably on break or ready to drag himself home, Tommy shouted and flagged him down. The exhaustion in the man’s face ebbed at the sound of the struggle, and a phone shoved its way into Tommy’s hand while the doctor in turn flagged down the officer that had been waiting to question Tommy earlier.

Guess not all cops were worthless, Tommy decided. 

“Call for backup,” the doctor told him, hurrying to the two bodies tussling. Kyle easily looked to be the aggressor, his body weighing down on Noh, so the doctor occupied himself dragging the mad man off of Noh, no stranger to unstable brutes.

Tommy dropped the phone, knowing calling for more cops would be dangerous. He saw the cop hurrying over, and he took that chance to hobble over, grabbing Noh’s arms, heart going wild. 

“Come on, come on, let’s go!”

Noh-Varr was a mite disorientated, one minute a heavy body suffocating him, the next Tommy’s hands reaching for him, voice frantic. But at least he was unharmed. His head hurt from being shoved against concrete so hard and the punch earlier had split his lip, but everything else was just bumps and bruises and minor cuts, nothing he’d need to stick around hospital for.

He got to his feet, for a minute swaying, then finding his balance and looking over Tommy, unable to keep his hands from the younger’s face, making sure no new injuries had bloomed.

“You’re ok...ok, let’s go.”

How, exactly, he wasn’t sure, but his gaze fell to Kyle’s car, unlocked, keys probably in there still.

Tommy saw what Noh noticed as well, and without further prompting, bullied Noh into heaving his weight over into the passenger side. Kyle provided enough of a distraction for the doctor and cop. Not that Tommy cared. The cops wouldn’t get involved. Kyle wouldn’t risk that.

However, hearing the guy’s frantic threats soothed him as the car roared to life and Noh sped off with it. Tommy refused to take a deep breath of relief until the hospital was a smudge in the rearview mirror.

“Thanks,” he said, glancing at Noh, and more than grateful he hadn’t taken too much damage. “Should stop at a drug store maybe. Get some painkillers if we can’t...go to your place or something.”

Noh couldn’t help the satisfaction of adding salt to the injury and driving away in that bastard’s car. He had half a mind to torch the damn thing just for good measure, but this way it probably looked like the guy had jumped them on their way to ‘his’ car.

“It’s nothing,” there was blood running down his face, a shallow cut at his temple, but he always found some obscure sense of beauty when his blood touched his hair. One of those odd little things Noh told no one about. 

“I have some crap at my house. You’re staying. You can call your mom, fuck, I’ll even talk to mine, guilt trip them into letting you stay, but you are not going home. Not to that fuck.”

Tommy breathed in deeply as he listened to Noh, felt the strength of his protectiveness wrap around him in a cushion that made him believe no one could touch him.

And yet still he tried to downplay it, rubbing his arm and peering out the window.

“He doesn’t...always. I mean,” Tommy stopped there, knowing the whole ‘fight over a girl’ lie would probably aggravate Noh. After what he had gone through for Tommy, he at least earned the truth, right?

“It’s not that big a deal,” Tommy tried to say anyway. “He...usually tries to hit my mom. Or starts yelling at her. That’s when I step in. I can’t keep my mouth shut and, well, he doesn’t usually hurt me that badly.”

Noh kept his eyes on the road, but his ears strained for every sound uttered from Tommy’s mouth. God, he knew the way he was talking...victims of that kind of violence always sounded the same. He should know. He’d been there. And maybe it was time to tell Tommy at least a part of what had made his resolve so strong to never live through it again.

“The first...family that adopted me,” he began, trying not to let any emotion bleed into his voice, “the guy, the father or whatever...had a real nasty habit, not like alcohol or drugs or anything...but he...there were two girls there, not his, biologically, but his wife’s. He didn’t just beat them...he fucking...he satisfied himself with them, every week. I didn’t really get it at the time, I was eight...but I heard them. Their mother, she tried to defend them, every once in a while...god I can still hear her fucking screaming some nights. I think that guy must have been beating her all of their lives, she just took it, and cried...cried every morning. I asked her why,” his hands tightened on the steering wheel, “and she told me it was because of love. That woman was so delusional she thought that man was still capable of love. God. Fuck. I hate people like that. People who let other people do that to them and end up thinking its their own fucking fault.”

Tommy hadn’t wanted to look at Noh as he spoke, but the tone and the story lured all of his curiosities. He knew his face contorted as he heard the tale, and he felt sicker to his stomach than he had at the hospital.

“Fuck,” he said, and before he recognized what he was doing, his hand was on Noh’s thigh. Nothing Tommy could say would assuage what Noh had seen jumping from home to home. And damn, Tommy was just fueling those memories now.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, exhaustion loosening his tongue. “That...I guess I do feel like it’s my fault.”

“It’s not!” Noh’s voice came out sharp, but its aggressive tone was not directed at Tommy. He wouldn’t blame this victim, not this time. Tommy was only trying to protect his mother, and that in itself, the fact that he felt he had to, when she was a grown-ass woman who should damn well know better than to be with a man who beat her, pissed him off. His memories weren’t a happy place, but they fueled his strength, made him strive not to be like any of the broken people he’d seen in his life.

“It’s not your damn fault. He’s a fucking bastard who beats your mom. And her kid. It’s his fault, and hers for being with a guy like that.”

Noh felt the lid on his well of memories leak, he wanted to keep talking, wanted to keep telling Tommy all the things he’d never shared with anyone, not for sympathy, but to let him know, let Tommy know he’d suffered too, that he knew what kind of place and life Tommy came from and he was right there with him.

“I’ve seen...a lot of things, Tommy. Really fucked up things. I’ve been in the system most of my life, got adopted out like some puppy on christmas and brought back half a year later. I know what a shitty place the world is...believe me,” his hand left the wheel, flattening over Tommy’s on his thigh.

“But you don’t have to be alone in it, okay? No one was ever there for me, but it doesn’t have to be like that for you. You’re my friend. I’m gonna....I’m gonna help you. Just let me.”

Tommy had no clue how to categorize everything Noh divulged, things you didn’t just spill to anyone unless you’d had one too many of something. What life Noh had bounced around in, it couldn’t have been pretty, that much Tommy figured, yet to hear it confirmed from Noh himself, well, that struck something inside Tommy in a place he didn’t know existed.

When the hand cupped over his own, Tommy looked at it. That one act said more than most things in his life, promised more than his mom did when she was plateauing and assured him this new boyfriend was great.

Tommy never had it and didn’t want to lose it. He turned his hand and squeezed Noh’s.

“You’re my friend too,” he reminded. “You don’t have to go through shit alone either if I don’t.”

The headache was blossoming, so he shut his eyes now that safety could be had. He didn’t let go of Noh’s hand, deciding this friends thing could be okay, maybe. 

“Let’s just get to your place first,” he added in a sigh. “I’m in serious need of a bath.”


	7. Chapter 7

Noh didn’t know if friends drove around holding hands, but he didn’t particularly give a fuck either way. Tommy’s fingers were laced with his and with them, something stronger than a rickety bridge connected the two. They had each other now, saw their lowest point maybe and though things would probably get worse from here on out, there was something shining in the gloom of their lives right now.

They ditched the car a street away from his house and got in with relative ease. Noh-Varr’s parents had left a note that they were out to dinner at a friend’s house. There was no accompanying money for a pizza or any form of affection the words on the paper, just a signature like he was some sort of employee or caretaker.

But it suited him just fine. Dealing with their hysteria and fake concern was the last thing he needed as he got them both upstairs, depositing Tommy in the bathroom and grabbing a sort of medical kit for himself. In all honesty he could use a bath himself, wanting to wash the stink and sweat of Kyle off of him as soon as possible, but Tommy’s comfort came first. 

With his friend settled amongst bubbles and hot water, Noh took to the body-length mirror and stripped off his shirt, hissing as he disinfected his cuts.

Tommy accepted being handled like delicate cargo, no, like a friend, with Noh’s guidance. The bath felt as fabulous as it had the first time, maybe better now that Tommy could label himself as a guy with a friend, a real, handy dandy friend who looked after his back.

The added bubbles did wonders to avert Tommy’s gaze from his plagued body. Bruises stood stark against his pale skin. Not cute.

To his side, Noh-Varr busied himself with his own wound-licking. Not much, but Kyle had been generous with the few blows he managed to land. Some scrapes and bruises didn’t diminish Noh’s overall...well, to be honest, handsomeness. 

Tommy stared more than he meant, and later could blame it under what little of the drugs remained pumping through his system when he said, “You look pretty shitty too.” He groaned as he shifted his body. “Get in. Don’t be a baby. There’s enough room, just...I don’t know. Figure it out. I’m tired.”

Noh had finished cleaning the few wounds he sustained, he was pretty handy with fixing himself up, something that had become a necessary part of his life. When he heard Tommy’s demand, or command even, he looked down at him with an amused and slightly confused eyebrow raise.

“I could just wait...” but the water did look great and his body gave a particular whining of aches that demanded a bath now, not whenever Tommy crawled out of it. Without further qualms, he stripped off the rest of his clothing, now a sad, careless pile on the floor and got in. 

He had no problem being naked in front of Tommy, but the design of the bathtub wouldn’t allow for him to linger at the opposite end without sticking his feet up Tommy’s nose.

“Here, shift a little.”

It was on the side of being awkward that he slid in behind Tommy, trying not to press too much of their bodies together.

With less complaining than Tommy expected of himself, he leaned forward and allowed Noh to fit behind him. Awkward felt right at describing the situation, but not uncomfortable. In fact, Tommy found it natural to deflate right against Noh’s chest.

Surely two platonic friends didn’t take naked baths together, not when Tommy made a fuss about the lack of feelings. Then again, one could argue they had abandoned the platonic title long ago in that closet.

Tommy opted out of thinking over it, going with his gut as he always had. Strange how Noh-Varr could uproot the foundation of his life, the way he thought and acted, making him hesitate rather than dive into impulse. It must have been a special something, skill maybe, Noh had and had no clue of owning it.

He felt a little hotter with Noh’s body snug behind him, similar enough to remind of of what they had done not too many nights ago. It felt like a year had passed since then.

Fuck it all.

Tommy raised one hand, long enough to find Noh’s and grab it, dragging it over in front so he could hold it comfortably. His other mindlessly stroked by Noh’s calf, like it was the most common thing to do.

He thought it would be more awkward to be in a tub with a guy whom had so clearly spoken against any sexual interest in him, but Noh was comfortable. This had nothing to do with fucking, or even wanting to right now. He was here, Tommy was with him and it was fine. This was their thing, no one else had any say or weight in this...friendship. So if Tommy wanted to hold his hand, relax against his chest and palm his leg, it was fine. This was fine. He didn’t notice he’d been breathing so shallow until now. Noh-Varr took a deep breath, then settled his head on top of Tommy’s, closing his eyes as the warmth of their bodies pressed together and the water around them soothed him in ways he’d never really thought possible.

“We should have taken the jaguar and gone, you know?” he muttered.

Tommy smiled at the notion of them charting off on a state-by-state adventure in Michaels’ luxury car, at his expense of course. Nearly chuckling at the thought, he brought Noh’s hand to rest comfortably on his naval, sighing his relaxation out with each breath.

“It would have been short-lived. When I’m gone, I want to be really gone. When I’m eighteen. It’s only a year and a half, and...I think I can suck it up.” He swallowed and brushed his thumb over the back of Noh’s. “Now that I got a buddy looking after me.”

And sharing baths apparently. Tommy had to shift slightly to glance back and lean his forehead against Noh’s.

“Come with me. When I leave.”

It wasn’t even a contest. There was nothing holding him here and once Tommy left this town, there’d be even less reason to suffer through existing here. What was a cushy home in the face of this new friendship?

“I will,” he muttered, smiling slightly so as not to split his lip open further. He pulled Tommy back a little, pressed his body closer. They were already beyond the comfort zone of casual friends, weren’t they? It didn’t matter if the feeling of Tommy’s perfect backside curved against his crotch made heat circle up in a lazy tidal wave, right?

“I’ll go wherever you go.”

Tommy accepted the semi-hug, the grip on Noh’s hand tightening as their bodies meshed that much more together. For a foster kid who had never known comfort, Noh-Varr fooled Tommy to believing he was an expert on the matter in the way he cradled the smaller body against his own.

It felt good too, having hands on him that didn’t strip Tommy of his self worth. Instead, they added layers to him, more than the heat pooling within his chest and somewhere lower.

“Noh,” he said, breathless and knowing what he craved after years of having none of it. It was okay, after all. They were friends. With some perks.

That’s why Tommy guided both of Noh’s hands to his inner thighs and said, “Touch me.”

Honestly, he’d expected nothing to come of the heat pooling in his gut when Tommy allowed the close embrace, Noh siphoning more comfort from this than anything that had ever been offered to him throughout his life, but Tommy’s words left him breathless.

His hands were still on Tommy for a long moment, barely believing they were allowed to be right there, on those wonderful thighs, even when marred by marks and bruises.

Slowly, his fingers came to life, tracing circles, triangles, anything he could think of over Tommy’s skin, climbing up to where the younger would feel everything far more significantly and taking his time in doing so.

Noh didn’t want to ask if it was okay, didn’t want his voice to ruin the moment. He did, however, have the absolute unquenchable desire to kiss Tommy, but with their current position, that was an impossibility.

The instant Noh’s fingers took action to soothe away Tommy’s nerves, his eyes shut, head tilting back on Noh’s shoulder. Even in his state Tommy could appreciate the wonder that was Noh’s light touches doing more than Kyle’s fists ever could.

“Like that,” he urged, legs falling open a little wider. If a moan left him, what of it? Keeping up a front demanded a lot of energy, which he had little of.

His lips quirked once or thrice at ticklish spots, and soon his own hands got greedy. Without asking, they raked over Noh’s thighs, what they could reach and down over his knees. Noh had a great body, packed with power and big enough to store the kindness very few had witnessed. Hell, most had beaten it out of him for the most part, yet here he was now, showering Tommy’s skin with attention.

Tommy tilted his head, eyes opening to look at Noh’s face. “Feels good,” he offered, and, maybe because he just could, he let his fingers ghost over Noh’s jaw, his chin, his lips.

“Good,” he replied intelligently, marginally distracted by the fingers stroking his face. Tommy was relaxing so much against him, was letting the stress and tension bleed out beneath Noh’s touches and it felt amazing to know he could be such a comfort to someone. Not a pain, not a burden and not a toy. Just Noh, hands continuing their massage-like motion as fingers encircled a familiar shaft, hardening beneath his ministrations. And still, this was...not romantic, nor was it about the sexual part at all and that was almost humbling.

He stroked Tommy into full hardness slowly, caressing him more than anything else, trying to convey that the stubborn little ass had endeared himself to Noh in a way that no other had. 

“I like making you feel good, Tommy,” he confessed very softly, “I like when you look like this...like you’re okay.”

The corner of Tommy’s lips tilted up. Odd enough, Noh might make a good house-husband to someone. Being able to care for someone and be appreciated for what he did, who he was, such simplicities suited Noh and Tommy knew it in how the boy touched him.

A few shudders and hip rolls encouraged Tommy in the proper direction. He cupped the side of Noh’s face, angling it at the right angle to mesh their lips together.

The kiss was a lot sweeter than he had imagined, on the account of how Noh-Varr sank into it, lips parting for their tongues to meet, eyes closed to relish in every second Tommy offered him such blessed soft kindness. He didn’t have to, he wasn’t into Noh, or guys in general, he’d made that point often enough, but he was kissing Noh right now, and it felt good. Better than good.

Yes, Noh might make for a loving spouse to someone one day, but right now, he would be content to provide all of the affection he could hold to Tommy, pour himself into lavishing the kind of tenderness both of their lives lacked onto his friend.

His hands never ceased their motions, but Noh could not longer concentrate on not getting hard against Tommy’s tantalizing hips. He was pressing into the younger’s back in seconds of that friction.

Liking girls, avoiding guys, sexual conquests in all its forms held no meaning to what fabricated between the two of them, something almost tangible and thickly sweet fastening themselves to each other. Tommy didn’t know he was kissing a guy; he was kissing, drinking, savoring Noh-Varr and relishing the way the kiss made him feel.

Shivers rocked through him more often now that their mouths had met, and when Tommy felt something hard press into his back he groaned, unaware of how arousing that fact was. All he understood was the need to feel more, to extend this affection for the night to remind him that not all of life’s people tried to screw him over.

“Noh,” he said, gripping the other boy’s hands as they went to his hips. There, Tommy rolled back, offering more friction to the shaft trapped between them. It was the most Tommy could do to tell Noh that this was alright, all of it was alright, and that he didn’t plan for the night to end with just some light touches.

He didn’t understand what Tommy was saying before he rolled his hips back so pointedly. That was permission, just like he had given that night which felt like years ago. And Noh remembered the feeling of Tommy, inside of him, the taste of him, everything. He craved for it. 

“Tommy,” he answered as his hips twitched, eager and yet restrained, allowing himself a few delicious strokes against Tommy’s ass, a blissful little groan emerging. He could probably find his bliss just sliding against Tommy’s skin alone, but if something was being offered, he could hardly decline it. And yet this was still something sweet and heavy, pulling them together. Noh-Varr angled himself a little, sliding through the firm globes he took purchase of, until the tip of his cock bumped into Tommy’s balls, then he pulled back and repeated the motion. His breath stuttered a little, amazed at how good this felt.

Good thing Noh’s ‘parents’ were nowhere near the vicinity to hear the sweet sounds pouring out of Tommy and bouncing along the walls. His back arched, creating a better angle for Noh to slide against him, and it felt incredibly intimate. Tommy had had fucks, not once with intimacy.

Not being able to get an eyeful of Noh became a nuisance among their grinding and rocking, so with little grace, Tommy maneuvered around so he stradled Noh’s lap, hands on shoulders, sliding up to neck and down a bulky chest.

“Come here,” he ordered, though he really didn’t need to. Their mouths met at a better angle this time, tongues exploring deeper and bodies pressing in new ways. Now Tommy could weave his fingers through Noh’s hair, and his backside could rock along Noh’s length.

Whatever this was between them, it wasn’t like any sex Noh had had with anyone before. It felt so much warmer, there was no hurried rush to get off and leave, there was nothing but this heavy heat and yet soothing warmth spiralling through his body. It was incredible, and he was damn sure Tommy could feel it too. His hands lifted from Tommy’s waist, one of them returning to its task of stroking Tommy in rhythm with the movement of their bodies, the other cradling the nape of the boy’s neck gently, not to trap him, but to entice him to stay so very, very close.

Noh thought he might come just from sliding against Tommy, to feel him partake in this so willingly. His breath hitched in the kiss, had him moaning something softly when his shaft bumped Tommy’s entrance. He might have felt even warmer granted access there, but this was enough. Tommy was more than enough.

Tommy couldn’t get enough of kissing Noh. He liked the loud, languid ones as much as the rough kind that had him panting the boy’s name into each clash of tongue and teeth. Whatever fatigue he previously fell victim to had shed loose, body energized by Noh’s touch alone, and the promise they had made.

Friends could fuck each other. Happened all the time, and Tommy recognized he needed to experience Noh in all his glory to feel sated tonight. The moment arose when Noh moaned hard, the tip of his length nudging an area that had Tommy’s skin prickling.

He leaned back from a kiss, stroking Noh’s jaw and chin, being sure their eyes tangled with one another. As verbal as Tommy was, he didn’t say what he wanted with his voice. Instead, he reached down, palming Noh and guiding him against that delicate area again.

He wasn’t ready for it to sink in, but he could tolerate toying around, getting use to the feeling of having Noh, not just anyone, pressing against there. The sensation of the first few millimeters teasing in, his hand guiding it all the way, was enough to yank out a gasp from him and leave him under a constant shudder.

Noh punished his lip as Tommy grabbed ahold of him and for a heart-stopping moment, he thought he was going to force himself open, something Noh knew despite all of the heat between them wouldn’t work. But just the feeling of Tommy gripping at his shaft, the tip nudging into him had him shuddering as hard as Tommy and if he’d been standing, his knees would buckle. Noh-Varr threw his head back, panting loudly, swearing breathily as he ached for more and yet had such a difficult time holding on.

“To-Tommy,” his voice came hoarse, as if he’d been screaming, not just moaning the boy’s name, “if you keep that up I’m gonna come, right now.”

Tommy tried a laugh, but it came out as a breathless exhale. Another time he might enjoy the kind of power he could obtain from teasing Noh through sex. Now, all that mattered existed in the little bubble they had formed around them.

Planting a wet kiss to Noh’s mouth, Tommy relinquished his hold and dragged his hand up back onto Noh’s neck. He liked feeling the pulse beneath his palm, testament to how human Noh proved to be.

“I want you,” he said, eyes flicking over to the corner of the bed he could see from the shower. “Only you.”

Noh was so close to the edge already, he would never have made it out of the tub, even at Tommy’s most insistent wish. The words barely washed over his ears and he found himself letting go, diving forward for a far more frantic kiss to distract him from the release pressed so close to Tommy’s body.

It would embarrass the fuck out of him later, the fact that Tommy’s voice had pushed him to his orgasm so goddamn easily, but right now he didn’t care, rode out the waves, breathed a blissful sigh into Tommy’s mouth and held onto him so very tightly.

Tommy poured himself into the kiss, the good and bad parts of himself he shared with nobody, hardly with himself. Noh sucked it all in, and the sound that broke through their mouths, paired with the tremors told Tommy of his release. As it escalated and reached its pinnacle, Tommy held him, stroking through his hair, admiring his neck and shoulders.

“I got you,” he said, promised. He kissed the side of Noh’s temple when their mouths parted, and he sat back, rolling over Noh’s semi-hard shaft.

Noh leaned back, somewhat relieved and mellowed by his orgasm, eyes nowhere near as sharp as they usually were, but fixated on Tommy. God, he was more than hot, he was downright gorgeous, just like every piece of his body, just like his voice and eyes promised from the that moment in the closet onwards. With his hair wet, breath a little fast and a red tint of excitement to his cheeks, Noh could look at Tommy forever. 

“...Sorry,” he uttered, clearing his throat as he realized he’d been the only one to indulge in the bliss of climax.

“Oh...god, sorry Tommy that doesn’t...usually I’m...”

Tommy chuckled through his nose. When diluted to his essence, Noh was awkward and, in brutal honesty, adorable. The way he stumbled over an explanation warranted a snarky remark, but Tommy could only laze against him, head on Noh’s shoulder, arms loose around him.

“I like when you feel good too,” he said, one hand coming down to trace his name over Noh’s chest. Besides, he had no plans to sleep yet, motivated by the body in front of him. 

His mouth went to work, kissing slowly, tongue drawing shapes and drawing out new marks on Noh’s chest, neck, and jaw, anywhere to show others Tommy had this luxury and they didn’t.

Noh-Varr was something of a buttery substance under Tommy’s ministrations, unsure of this shift, never really being on the recipient end of such affection. He knew how to hand it out, so to say, but only because he was an incredible study of character and usually had a good instinct for what his bedpartners liked. Was this what he liked? Was Tommy showing him something he might not necessarily already know about himself? Gentle and soft had never been his sexlife, but Noh couldn’t deny that Tommy’s marking and licking and nibbling was doing enough to get the heat, previously sated and lazy, stirring once more.

“I’m gonna look like a leper,” he complained with a happy little grunt, watching the other boy decorate him as if he was a prize to be owned and claimed.

Tommy marked Noh-Varr up well, pleased he looked very much like a leper with each assault of Tommy’s mouth. Though Noh’s body dubbed itself a prize, and anyone could understand that, Tommy had no intention of treating Noh like a gem for him to rub his paws over. Every nip and kiss was a token of affection for Noh to do with as he pleased, and there would be plenty of them to have left over.

“So’k,” Tommy breathed, coaxing Noh into another round of kissing before pulling back with a loud smack. “Come on. Let me help you dry off.”

He wouldn’t accept no for an answer, even if his own legs wiggled and almost buckled. Tommy held onto Noh’s arm but nothing else as they stepped out on mats and dried off. Once they were more damp than wet, Tommy knew just how to entice Noh to full attention. His legs needed the break and had no protest to lower to his knees, while his mouth reached out without hesitation and sucked on the tip of Noh’s cock.

Noh thought the drying off might signal the end of their encounter, but he couldn’t have been more wrong. When Tommy’s mouth enclosed on his tip, he nearly went down, but his hand shot out and braced him on the wall as he cleared his throat very loudly.

“Jesus, Tommy,” he didn’t need to ‘ask’ what the boy was up to and the why didn’t seem important right now either, Tommy was sucking on his length and Noh-Varr might lose all sense of reality at that notion.

Tommy wasn’t done with him, that was for sure.

Tommy’s mouth did all the talking, verbatim not included. He’d never gone down on a guy, had never planned to, and yet his mouth suckled and moved as if it knew all along what it wanted to do. Being a guy himself, he knew what felt good to him and what could tickle Noh deep down in the right spots. Paired with a hand, Tommy had plenty to keep himself occupied, striving toward the never ending goal of coaxing out more noises from Noh.

Once his jaw began to feel a tick, he dislodged, breathing hard and eyes settling up on Noh. Each time he felt Noh’s hips jerk or his voice warn of an impending orgasm, Tommy had retreated, and now all his efforts had created a very aroused Noh-Varr.

“Bed,” he said.  
Noh wasn’t in control here, despite the apparent roles of their positions. This was all Tommy, guiding, sucking, taking what he wanted and leaving Noh none the wiser, only hard and confused and unbearably hot.

When the command came to move to the bed, there wasn’t a cell in Noh’s body that would find objection to obeying Tommy’s singular instruction.

He wasn’t walking stiffly, but he kept half-turning back, as if he couldn’t be sure of Tommy following him or not. 

The bed felt like it was miles away.

Embarrassingly enough, Tommy less followed and more gripped hard onto Noh’s shoulder for support. Miles away indeed. At this rate, with him dragging Noh’s steps down, they would make it in a couple of days, or not at all.

There had to be something said for how Noh not once recoiled or rebutted Tommy’s advances when splotches of purples and yellows marred his skin. Noh-Varr saw beyond that, but Tommy couldn’t say he could forget they were there. Right now they did a damn good job of threatening to cut their intimacy prematurely.

“Wait, wait,” he said, hopping on his better leg. Tonight he could forgive himself for leaning close and saying, “Think I need a little assistance.” 

“Assistance?” Noh wondered where he’d left his brain, but he wouldn’t be hard-pressed to find it until this heat had passed anyway. Tommy was holding onto him, hobbling, clearly unable to make a smooth transition from tub to bed without his immediate aid.

Maybe it was becoming too much of a habit to sweep the boy into his arms, but Tommy was so light, a burden he’d easily carry til the end of time.

“Like this?”

Tommy thought to consider how awkward or plain weird it felt to be hauled up like a princess, or a bride, or a princess bride. Pressed against Noh-Varr and not required to carry his own weight, however unnerving as it was for a guy who liked his feet on the ground, it felt good. Maybe being carried had its perks. It certainly gave Tommy the excuse to kiss Noh’s neck and nibble on his ear.

“Yes,” he said, keeping his mouth in motion as they finally reached their oasis. A little squirm and Noh lowered him down.

There, Tommy compiled the abundance of pillows so he could lean against them, propped up enough so he sat up more than laid on his sore back. Once settled, he watched Noh a moment before reaching out to touch his face.

Now that Tommy had indeed positioned himself on the bed, Noh had no clue what to do. What were they doing? Something had started in the bathtub between the two of them, something indiscernibly heavy and he didn’t know whether or not it was a good thing to pursue it any further.

Tommy’s fingers brushed his face so lightly, as if they were gracing over something so incredibly delicate it may break at the sound of a whisper.

So he sat opposite Tommy, all six feet of muscle tense and awaiting and wanting yet refusing.

“What are we doing?” he breathed.

Tommy didn’t have an answer, for once. The question sobered him up enough to scan their positions. What the hell were they doing? They had been practically nuzzling and petting each other one moment, and then kissing, grinding, and Tommy ended up on his knees.

But to stop now? Somehow that carved a deeper hole into Tommy, and he had enough of feeling like he’d taken rounds at a shooting range.

Heart set, Tommy lured Noh-Varr closer and kissed his mouth.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, “but I don’t want to stop.”

But they should. Noh-Varr knew that somewhere deep down, this wasn’t right. Tommy and he, whatever they shared, it wasn’t this. Couldn’t be. He knew the limits of friendship and he damn well knew the difference to a casual fuck and whatever heavy, sensual tension lingered here. It was dangerous to do this now, to allow their simple needs to get them into a mess neither could make sense of.

So why was he kissing back like a man dying of thirst, with his only hope for hydration might be found in the other boy’s mouth?

“Tommy,” again, the name was offered against Tommy’s lips, becoming a mantra on Noh’s tongue.

Tommy sighed, maybe from Noh’s intent to resume kissing, or something else he didn’t understand--or want to. His fingers traced Noh’s face, buried in his hair, while his body sought contact, not satisfied until he had Noh draped over his own and between his parted thighs.

Casual fucks didn’t go like this. They were quick, maybe rough, basically a place to stick it in and get some relief with someone you tolerate, even like a little, but not like that. Friends with perks did not kiss the way they kissed or touch Noh’s body the way Tommy did, as though he planned to forever worship each dip and bump.

And each time Noh spilled his name, shivers wouldn’t be overwhelming Tommy’s body.

“Noh,” he said back, and being unable (or unwilling) to say it, wrapped his hand again around a length his mouth knew well by now.

His name from Tommy’s lips chased away unwanted thought immediately and all he could concentrate on was the touch of that hand to his length. What were they doing? Why couldn’t they just pull the brakes on this? They were gravitating towards each other, mouths, bodies, hands as if they were freaking magnets that couldn’t be held apart.

He was in situated between Tommy’s splayed thighs and there was something his body ached for which his mind did not dare fathom to have with Tommy.

“I want you...I really, want you.”

Tommy cupped Noh’s face, kissing away his fears and worries, if he could. He dragged his legs up, allowing Noh to settle in comfortably. Those were the words he had been waiting sixteen years to hear, and when they came from Noh, so genuine, it tapped into a piece of Tommy he thought he had laid to rest years ago.

First it came as a sniff, and then fuck, Tommy wasn’t the type to let fatigue and his rotten emotions get the best of him. They did though, choking in his throat and finding their way through in pathetic, choked sounds.

At first he tried to hide it in Noh’s shoulder, then his shoulders quaked and gave him away.

“I’m fine,” he said, pushing Noh away, scrubbing at his face. “Fuck, my head. I didn’t mean...I don’t know why I’m so angry.”

He was angry at himself, at his mom, at fucking Kyle. He was angry that he felt them dragging their nails down his spine, set to reel him back in. This moment, this time with Noh, was just more ammo against him.

Noh-Varr lost the heat the moment he heard the sniff turned to choking sob. This was absolutely no time to think about continuing this, they really didn’t have to go any further. He dislodged enough of himself to be capable of wrapping his arms around Tommy in a fierce embrace. One he wished someone had bestowed on him a long time ago.

He didn’t let Tommy push him off.

“You’re not fine. You’re really fucked up. Come on, I know.”

Tommy grunted, sniffed again, and choked on another sound. Stupid sniffles.

Noh’s arms enveloped him in unfamiliar yet comforting warmth. He sank into it after little resistance, blaming it on his weary bones that he didn’t put up much of a fight. 

“Yeah,” he said, but to which part, he didn’t elaborate. “I’ll be fine. I’m just...you know, tired. It’s hard to breathe. My ribs hurt. Fucking Kyle. He stepped on me,” the words rambled on without his awareness, “sometimes he says things. I never thought about it until now. How you...mentioned that foster dad or whatever. Sometimes Kyle says stupid shit like, I look a lot like my mom, or will sort of joke that if you put a dress on me you couldn’t tell the difference between the two of us. He’s always said that stuff when really drunk, so it’s nothing, but...”

Noh’s gripped only tightened as Tommy spoke and he shuffled them around so he wouldn’t be crushing any of his weight onto the fragile body beneath his own. When Noh finally pulled the blanket over both of them, he was cushioning most of Tommy’s body with his own. It didn’t matter if they were naked. There was comfort to be had in each other’s company like this.

“I should have put him in that fucking hospital. Or at least reversed his stupid car over him.”

Tommy snorted, the best laugh he could muster in his state. Leaning against Noh felt good, albeit it borderlined being squeezed to an early death. Tommy figured if he had to be crushed, by Noh it would be okay.

“I don’t think he’d do anything like...that. That doesn’t happen to guys, that stuff,” Tommy said, inhaling as much as Noh’s scent as he could. With the blanket, he felt cocooned and wished he could stay in there for as long as he wanted, eyes drifting shut.

“I wish I could tell you you’re right,” Noh muttered, perhaps hoping it had been too quiet for Tommy to hear. He didn’t want to unsettle his friend, he just wanted Tommy to rest, to feel safe for once and protected. Cared for. 

Noh loosened his arms slightly into a comfortable cradle as Tommy’s head bumped against his chest.

“Try to get some sleep, okay? I’m here...I’m here with you. I got you too.”

Tommy listened without a fit preceding it, eyes so heavy and mind heavier.

Buried in everything Noh had to offer, Tommy thought he might just be able to find sleep knowing someone had him.

Morning came in the form of an unpleasant and early visit of Noh’s mother. Miranda nearly had a heart-attack when Tommy’s tousled head emerged from beneath the blankets, nestled against Noh’s body in a vision of togetherness that might have stirred a real parent’s heart. 

Not so for Miranda. She shot Noh a look that promised a storm later on, but in front of their guest, no matter how beaten up and sickly he looked, the Williams would not look like ungraceful hosts, not on her account. 

The boys were given breakfast and sent off to school after Miranda and her husband made play at being actual parents, for which they earned themselves more of Noh’s disdainful glares.

He was happy to leave with Tommy in tow, though he was mostly holding the younger up. He should have been fine after a night of rest, but Noh found himself lunging to catch Tommy at every wobbling step.

Tommy didn’t say much when he took part in what might as well have been a family drama show. The smiles on the Williams were so stretched and strained around the edges that Tommy didn’t know if he was in a drama or a comedy. Out of respect, or whatever it was he had for Noh, he played along, minding his tongue.

Not that he had much to say. He felt worse today in terms of soreness, though he had better use of his limbs. He couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

Feeling their stares on his back, Tommy leaned further against Noh, accepting his aid as they traversed the path toward school.

“I should have stolen some crutches,” Tommy said, smiling faintly. “So how big in trouble are you?”

Noh shrugged, carrying his bag slung over his shoulder, one arm supporting Tommy just in case he couldn’t handle the movement just yet.

“I’ll survive. I imagine they’ll try to put me on house arrest, but it’s pretty pointless. They got nothing to threaten me with, I know they won’t ship me back to the orphanage. I’m almost 18 and they’ve had me for more than two years. It would be disgraceful not to ‘finish’ what they started, huh?” Noh sounded pretty positive about his age at least. Soon, he’d be free of the need for an ‘adult’ to be given to.

“Man, I wish I was almost eighteen,” Tommy said, chuckling. “They’re the worst type. Fakes. Can’t stand that. And speaking of fakers, I’m sure a few rumors are bound to arise from them seeing you help me along like a live crutch.”

The way Tommy said it revealed how little he cared for what they thought of him. Everyone assumed he was bi, and, okay, maybe he was, so what of it. Some people elevated Tommy’s status for getting it on with the boy no one in school could reach, and new rumors surfaced now with Nate in the picture. Cue in love triangle drama worthy of a soap opera, as far as the student body was concerned.

“Fuck them,” Noh’s voice held no mirth, but he wasn’t expressing anything more than gentle disdain for the rest of the school. So what if he helped Tommy along like this? They were friends. Friends that took naked baths together, slept in a bed pressed against each other and oh yeah, covered each other in hickeys. He had tried his best to pick a shirt that would disguise the bitemarks, the bruises Tommy had given him for taking care of his.

“I’d carry you around all day if necessary.”

Tommy didn’t admit that left him feeling lighter than before, nor did he conclude how nice it felt to have Noh helping him around, even when they reached the campus and students made poor attempts to not look like they were staring.

“Alright,” Tommy said when they reached his locker. “This is where you leave me. I got English first so that’s opposite of your way. Plus, I’m starting to get annoyed with all the looks. You’d think we were dating or something.”

They weren’t. Right? What happened last night had been a fluke, a product of drugs and loneliness that had been exacerbated by Kyle’s presence. Feeling nice with a friend didn’t constitute relationship-status (and how Tommy cringed at that word).

“I’ll um, see you at lab, yeah?”

He didn’t particularly want to abandon Tommy, especially without any crutches or anything that would steady him. Sure, he was a lot better than he was yesterday, but his movements were stiff at best.

Still, it would do him no good to linger or to press his concern onto the younger. Noh resisted the urge to press a kiss to Tommy’s head, instead settling for a pat on the shoulder.

“Yeah. Try not to fall down too much, alright? We’ll do lunch.”

Turning his back to Tommy, he walked off, en route to his own locker and a day of classes he wouldn’t much enjoy.

Tommy watched him go, then dragged his body to his first period class, not remembering when he had gotten so heavy.

Class went well enough for a guy who could hardly walk and had the complexion of a lepper. Or spotted cow. People had plenty of questions and Tommy indulged them with fantastic lies, weaving one after the other. When Noh-Varr came up as a topic, Tommy brushed it off, saying the guy was cool in his book, nothing more. He wondered if he had elevated Noh’s position in anyone’s eyes after that.

“Did you hear?” Nate asked from beside him, a smirk playing on his face.

“I feel like I haven’t. What?”

“We’re doing Midsummer Night’s Dream for the play this year.”

Tommy tilted his head. “Great. Shakespeare.”

“Gets better. You got a role.”

Tommy opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. “What?”

Nate chuckled. “I tried to tell you about it when you came over. Mr. Davis always picks the roles himself whether you auditioned or not. But you get extra points for it.”

“Well,” Tommy pressed, glowering a bit, “who did I get cast as?”

“Oberon.”

Tommy stared at Nate, gathering data for deception, found none. As if his school life couldn’t get more complicated. 

“Isn’t he the king fairy?”

“I think you’d make a good fairy,” someone from the back said, setting off a round of chuckles.

Tommy smirked at the guy, not allowing the comment to sound insulting. He might have thrown back a remark, but when their teacher waddled in late, they presented a picture of half-attention. That suited Tommy fine, having plenty to keep his mind busy with.

He practically blew past the next two periods, antsier than usual as the clock ticked closer to lunch time. By the time the bell rung, Tommy figured out a way to lengthen his strides, awkward as they were, to hit the bleachers where Noh might be at.

He needed a beer and--

“Thomas Shepherd.”

Tommy instantly recognized the tone of the principal and ducked out of sight without confirming it was the large man lumbering down his way. Whatever he wanted, Tommy figured he could stuff it. He hoped it had nothing to do with his mom, and hopped more than walked around a shortcut to reach the bleachers.

The day dragged on and on, minutes lengthening to hours as classes stretched out to eternities before lunch. Noh-Varr didn’t receive more than questioning looks, but then again, he was sporting some bruises to the face, courtesy of Kyle, not to mention the absolute mosaic of marks down his neck, courtesy of Tommy. Those, he didn’t mind. Mostly.

The only thing that bothered him about them was the fact that they might be the only witness and evidence of his improved relationship with Tommy. Were they friends? Yeah, they’d said as much in the car last night.

But friends didn’t seek the kind of comfort they’d found in each other’s bodies that way, no amount of denial could scrub them clean of that. Noh pondered memories of Tommy’s bruised, yet beautiful body, rubbing, grinding, offering him pleasure he hadn’t felt in a long while.

He couldn’t wait for the bell to ring for lunch. He was behind the bleachers, sucking on a cigarette, anxiously awaiting Tommy’s arrival.

Tommy saw Noh-Varr a few yards away, and a grin broke out. He waved as if flagging down a speeding car.

“Hey,” he called, then snatched Noh’s arm once within distance. “Hurry.”

It took some manhandling to get Noh to budge and follow him around and under a hidden spot under the bleachers where no prying eyes could spot them. There, Tommy dumped his backpack and groaned, stretching onto his back.

“God, I’m tired. Principal was looking for me,” he said, rummaging in his pack for his snack. Fuck, he didn’t have one. Moaning he shoved himself away from his backpack and added, “And I just found out I’m playing the goddamn fairy king Oberon for the play.”

“What?” Noh couldn’t help the snort that accompanied that statement and an instant image took his head, one of Tommy dressed up in something ridiculously fairy-like, and if he knew the school’s theater department, that was exactly what he was going to end up in.

“I didn’t know you were into, you know, Shakespeare.”

“Excuse me,” Tommy said, propping onto his elbows, “but I didn’t have a choice. I only know that blonde chick from our lab, the one with the huge rack, is playing Oberon’s wife. Nate’s playing puck, and that dark girl with those really bright eyes is playing um...Hermia or something.”

Tommy realized he really didn’t commit people’s name to his memory. In reality, Noh-Varr was the first he paid attention to and had locked up in his mind, then Nate more out of necessity than anything else.

“Ch. I should volunteer you to play someone. But I bet you wouldn’t be up for that. Not the theater type.”

“I wouldn’t show up anyway. You think I have nothing better to do than prance around on a stage?” Noh was still in good humour, though it had fallen somewhat when Nate’s name came up. That guy was an irritant. Did he make a point of hanging around Tommy or was that just Noh’s paranoia setting in?

Considering the fight they had the last time he overreacted to Nate, he dialled down his immediate dislike.

“Big boobs and bright eyes, huh? You’re really good with names and faces.”

“I notice the important things,” Tommy said, smiling at him.

It came upon him without preamble, or maybe it had and Tommy managed to elude it up until now. Just them two here, in a confined space, lazing about, Noh’s mouth sucking on--

Tommy blinked out of his fantasy, realizing his mind had derailed and tried to replace cigarette with something else. Where the hell had that come from? More importantly, how?

“Um,” he said, forcing his gaze down, “so anyway, I was thinking of forging my mom’s signature on a note to ditch the last two periods. You interested?”

“And skip out of Biology and History? I’d be mad to say no, considering that I usually sleep through those anyway.” Noh didn’t need to mention that he’d probably skip out of graduation, his own birthday and christmas if Tommy wanted him to. The prospect of spending time with his friend was one that shone much brighter in his dull little world.

“I wonder what the principal wanted...you’re coming home with me today, right?”

Tommy nodded, feeling it easier to breathe now that they had plans. In a world where Tommy forewent them, having them with Noh solidified that they had something, friendship or whatever. Without it he worried he’d be snatched up and pitched between this drama or that.

“Who knows,” Tommy said with a shrug. “And...I don’t know.” He picked at the grass. “I do, but I should check up on my mom. She gets into these moods when I leave like that and Kyle usually doesn’t freak out or anything during it...”  
“What does check up mean? We could swing by your house, see how she’s doing and leave. I’m not...” he wasn’t responsible for Tommy and he knew that, but he desperately wanted to forbid his friend to return home, into the reach of that horrible man his mother was seeing.

“I mean, you’re my cover from that parental shitstorm and all, you owe me another night of company.”

Aaaand he was thinking of how he woke up this morning, limbs entangled with Tommy’s, feeling warm and content and utterly...happy. 

Tommy didn’t know he smiled at Noh’s demand until it stretched his face wide. Maybe the tone in Noh’s voice spoke more to him than what he said, but he found himself agreeing to it. Of course he should provide a cover for Noh’s inevitable scolding.

“Okay. I just want to check on her quickly. Then we can go to your place,” he said.

“Shepherd!”

Tommy winced, then cursed.

“Jesus, fine, hold on,” he told Noh, crawling past him, very aware of how their legs brushed. A rush of fresh air suited him well when he stepped out, glancing around and going still.

“Mom,” he said.

The principal gestured. “We need to have a talk.”

Tommy stepped back, clinging harder to his backpack strap now. “About what?”

His mom shot him a look he understood enough and, with a reluctant glance at the place he had been secured in with Noh-Varr, stomped off after them, not caring he looked like he was as pissed off as he felt.

Noh-Varr emerged from the bleachers a moment after the trio had turned to leave. There was no way he’d just wait to hear the end of this, he needed to know right now, as it happened. He followed the small group as discreetly as he could.


	8. Chapter 8

Tommy didn’t know when the meeting got so far away from him. He struggled with the threads he had left, and even those slipped through his fingers before he ever really got a say in the matter.

They had stepped into the principal’s office, Kyle-less thankfully, but the atmosphere reeked of his poison. His mom had the ugly creases of one who had a shitty life, and no doubt the principal assumed those lines on her face were born from Tommy’s mischief.

The talk had started innocently enough, how Tommy did in school, how was he adjusting. Tommy wasn’t stupid; he knew this builded up to something far beyond his power. Then, it rained down in the mentioning of an incident the other day by the hospital.

A cop had the audacity to included himself in the talk then, and Tommy wanted to tear his hair out as much as he wanted to kick the fat desk over. The principal was talking, in one ear and out the other for Tommy.

He had a record, he was supposed to be in this nice school under the understanding he’d do well on his juvie ‘probation’ of sorts. The incident at the hospital had been manipulated to be his fault somehow, an understandable reaction. Kyle had come to get Tommy and Noh buffeted his advances, and Tommy, according to the ‘testimony’ had spurned Kyle because he didn’t like him being his mom’s boyfriend. It was all some wacky understanding that still didn’t make sense in Tommy’s mind, but it suited fine for everyone else in the room.

As the principal’s voice dipped lower, Noh’s name popped up again, and Tommy’s heart started withering.

“We’ve spoken to your mother about this and...we think it’s best to have an order against Noh-Varr. You can’t be near such influences, not when you’ll risk going to prison this time Thomas, and it’s far worse than juvie. Nor is it...healthy for your mother.”

Tommy stared, desperation a cold hand in his chest. 

“What are you saying? But Noh-Varr didn’t do anything! I didn’t--”

“Tommy,” his mom said, hand on his arm. “Please. For me. I’d be...so lost without you,” she said, fat tears gathering in her eyes. She spoke the truth, too.

Tommy was her everything, as fucked up as it was that she blamed him for the bulk of her life, even slapped him around for it.

Before he heard himself say it, Tommy lowered his head and cursed all of them. Fine. Whatever. That’s how life went for him. Just...one big fuck-up after another.

He didn’t say anything more, grabbing his bag, and marching out, wishing a hole would emerge and suck him into the center of the earth.

It wasn’t easy to eavesdrop on the office, especially with the rest of school going about their business right outside. Noh-Varr employed some of his rather extraordinary skills and got access to the supply closet right next door. From here, he could hear everything. His blood ran cold at the warped report of yesterday’s incident. That fucker Kyle, he’d gotten everyone on his side, of course. Typical adult, had to put the blame on two fucking underage kids rather than man up and forego telling anyone.

And just as Noh had figured, Tommy had a record. He was the type, but that was a negative quality in Noh’s opinion. It just made Tommy all the more real, a guy who’d known the worst of life and how to tell the world to fuck off.

When Tommy made his exit, Noh scrambled from the tiny room to catch up with his friend. Fuck any restraining order, it wouldn’t have gone through yet anyway. Nothing was gonna keep him from Tommy.

“Hey, wait,” he fell into step besides his friend, “how did it go?”

If Tommy could have, he would have jumped out of his skin. Of all places to expect to see Noh-Varr again, it was not right after that dreadful meeting, if at all the rest of the day.

“Shit,” he said, eyes scanning Noh’s face. Tommy stopped in mid-walk just as he scrounged up some excuse for why he couldn’t hang out today. “You heard, didn’t you?”

How did he know, well, he didn’t for sure. But there was a shift in Noh’s eyes, a fire maybe? 

Tommy’s head whipped around at hearing his mom exit the principal’s office. With a lewd choice of words, he shoved Noh into a janitor’s closet around the corner and breathed in deeply. Fuck this day turned out far worse than he hoped, far too tangled for his taste.

“Noh,” he said, keeping his voice low, and ignoring how close their chests were. “I...I can’t hang around you anymore. For a while anyway.”

Noh couldn’t help remembering the last time they ended up in a closet and to subsequent make-out session that had ensued. He doubted the same would happen today, but he did place his hands left and right of Tommy’s head.

“I heard,” he spoke lowly, very able to hear Tommy’s mother and the principal talk about how the order would be implied at school. Looked like he wasn’t going to have class with Tommy anymore. Something in him keened and he closed in, actually tugging the younger into a tight hug.

“After school? They’ll never know, we can be careful.”

“Noh, it’s not,” Tommy grunted, knowing he battled with fire now with nothing to shield him from it. “It’s more...fucked up than that. You’re eighteen soon, you’ll be free. I’m...still fucking trapped,” he said, slapping his hands on Noh’s chest to release a little aggression, “and...look, I can’t, I just can’t, okay?”

He knew he sounded pathetic, more so as he gazed up at Noh.

“She said Kyle’s picking me up everyday from school until otherwise,” he added, desperation now cracking his voice. “So, I don’t know, we can’t hang out, so...m-maybe later, fuck, I don’t want to not hang around you, Noh. Look, just,” he exhaled hard and screwed his eyes shut for some semblance of control, “Friday. During the Spring Fling pep ralley, okay? Not before then. I can’t.”

His fingers worked on their own, grabbing Noh’s face, and before Tommy would dare to stop himself, he pressed a frantic kiss to Noh’s mouth, pouring all he couldn’t say in that moment. It was as aggressive as it was quick, and Tommy ducked out from Noh’s arm prior to letting it become something he couldn’t control.

“I’m sorry,” he said against his mouth just as he did so, hurrying out of the closet and to his next class.

Noh-Varr slumped against the closet wall, wondering when his life had begin orbiting Tommy Shepherd as if he were some shining star.

The Pep Rally. It wasn’t until the end of the month, two solid weeks away from now. Two weeks in which he’d fall back into the solitary, dreary life he knew. Fuck it all. He pressed his hands to his face, trying to find something, anything to ground himself in. He’d be okay without Tommy, no doubt about that, even with the impending shitstorm when he found his way home...but what about his friend? What about his friend’s fucked up mother and her abusive son of a bitch boyfriend?

Noh-Varr didn’t know what to make of the kiss and it didn’t matter right now, shoved to the back of his mind.

*

Two weeks were a really, really long time.

Noh-Varr didn’t know what was worse; being at school and trying to catch a distant glimpse of Tommy without success, or being at home, thinking about his friend and trying not to notice how his sheets no longer smelled like Tommy.

He’d begun taking baths, what with his parents on a new vigilant high after the restraining order had landed in the mail. It wasn’t as if they could truly punish him, as he accurately predicted. Sending him back would shame their parental skills and grounding him was laughable.

That didn’t keep them from trying though and Noh humoured them for a while, soaking in hot water with bubbles and thinking entirely too much about Tommy’s absence.

Two weeks, two years, ten years, it all added up to the same misery that became Tommy’s life. He had caught snippets of Noh’s white hair from afar, and nothing more. The tattle-teller ‘officer’ of their school (really a glorified watchdog that had no credentials in law enforcement and usually looked for kids that loitered or littered) kept one eye on him, ready to blow the whistle if Tommy disobeyed the order.

Strange enough being watched, let alone the rest of the student body treating him not much different. People spread rumors that Tommy and Noh had been dating, now broken up, or maybe Noh had threatened Tommy’s life and he couldn’t be in his classes anymore. It varied depending on the person asked. All Tommy knew that it didn’t feel right going on with his classmates while Noh sulked in his own cave.

Then, there was Kyle picking him from school.

Tommy didn’t like to think about that.

If nothing else, being part of the school play meant Tommy had an excuse to linger after school and practice lines. He found a kind of...familiarity with Nate being in the play. The guy was really nice, and he seemed concerned the times Tommy noted too late he looked down. Nate grounded him a little. It meant something that he could talk to somebody without putting up all the bells and whistles Tommy Shepherd was known for around class.

God, he really did miss that frustrating Noh-Varr.

It was two days before the Spring Fling pep rally, and Tommy thought about curling up in the corner and sleeping it off. How he planned to avoid the watchdog, he didn’t know yet. He’d figure something out. There was also the dance the same night, and Tommy planned to convince his mom he had a date to take out.

There were plenty of offers too, and each one Tommy turned out. Okay, so not plenty. Most who asked him wanted him as an accessory, the one to say they had Shepherd the class clown and new kid as their date.

When the time finally came for a date, it happened on the day of the Pep Rally, just as Tommy was making his way, sneaking to enter the room above the auditorium to see Noh. It came from Nate, all flushed and saying he had no qualms with being with a guy, after all he was the captain of the lacrosse team. Respected, and all that.

And Tommy stared. And said yes.

As he picked his way up into the room, he didn’t marvel at his success. Why had he agreed to Nate, that occupied his mind more. Nate was safe, he decided, someone he could...hang around with without rousing his mom’s suspicions. She already knew he had messed with guys and girls, so that wasn’t a big deal, sort of. Tommy had to play the role on her behalf. 

Because stupid as it was, he loved his mom and wanted any shard of happiness to fall on her instead of him.

Noh-Varr had anxiously awaited the day of the rally, if only to get five minutes or more with Tommy alone. He’d been in the projection room, even brought snacks and beer (risky at school) and waited for Tommy with his heart pounding just a little harder than he liked. There was so much he wanted to talk about, so much he needed to tell his friend and the absolute imperative urge to know how Tommy was doing after all this time.

But he would remain in that room, waiting pointlessly once Nate got his answer out of Tommy, because the lacrosse captain was just that, very nice, but also very interested. So much so he followed his new date up to the room, asking him if he’d like to hang out some more before the fling.

Tommy had tried shaking Nate off, but he certainly wasn’t a pushover. He was firm, determined too, yet without the douche quality most guys like that had.

“So, how about after play practice? We can grab some food, then I can take you home to get ready for the dance.”

Cringing internally at how loudly Nate said that, so close to the projector room’s door no less, Tommy forced a chuckle.

“Sheesh, persistent much?”

“I know. Sorry,” Nate said. “I just...I’m really glad you’re going with me.”

Tommy exhaled, leaning against the door, hand on the handle. He squeezed it tightly. “Okay, okay. I’ll see you at practice, okay?”

Nate glanced at the door. “What are you doing up here anyway?”

“Blowing the rally off. Um...and kind of have to work on something personal,” he added, not needing to invite Nate. That was a thorn in his side he didn’t need right now. “See you later?”

“Alright, alright. I won’t tell,” Nate laughed, reaching out to touch Tommy’s hand. “Can’t wait.”

As he finally descended the steps, Tommy groaned and opened the door, locking it behind him quickly. He forgot how hard his heart could pound around Noh, and the sight of the white-haired loner sent Tommy’s worries scattering.

“Noh,” he said, his first genuine smile blooming in over two weeks. “You showed up.”

“Yeah,” Noh tried hard to swallow the boulder in his throat. Oh yeah, he’d heard every word, and he knew Nate’s voice well enough to recognize it. What the hell was Tommy doing? Going to the dance with him? As a date? A legitimate, bona fide date?!

He couldn’t be jealous. Even if every tiny ounce of him was screaming green with envy, he could not show Tommy that he was jealous. Nate was encroaching on them something fierce and Noh was beginning to develop a very severe dislike for the guy who had it so easy with Tommy.

“I brought supplies, you know...for the rally-ditching.”

He had to keep his voice level, but it was no use. As soon as Tommy moved closer, the question burst from him.

“You’re going to the dance with Nate?” no, no, fuck, he didn’t want to sound so raw, why couldn’t he just...ignore it? It wasn’t like he’d planned on asking Tommy or attending the stupid thing anyway.

Tommy had not been expecting the question. He really hadn’t, so concentrated on the fact that they could speak together for a while, touch, hang out. He had been in the middle of approaching to hug Noh-Varr, and he realized he had when the question threw him for a loop, leaving him feeling as if a barrier had grown between them. This one had a name and face and was captain of a team at their school.

“What? I...Yeah,” Tommy said, shrugging. “He asked me. I figure it would be a good chance to...you know, leave my place.” Fuck, he didn’t want to talk about his home. 

He tried to ignore the monster brewing between them while he sat down beside Noh, sighing.

“Look, can we...not talk about him? I...we only got a little bit of time. I can’t even fucking hang out with who I want. This blows. I just...I just want to chill with you.”

Noh noticed the faltered hug and something inside of him withered and keened for Tommy to just touch him. The kiss, their last interaction, bore down heavily on his mind.

But Tommy didn’t want to go that road with him, clearly. Whatever Nate had that enthralled the young man, Noh was lacking.

“Yeah, okay...” he wasn’t going to let it go, not the way it lingered in his thoughts.

“I’m not going to the Fling.”

Tommy sighed again, heavier. A beer presented itself nearby so he grabbed it and drowned down a third of it before speaking.

“I figured,” he said, scooting a little closer, daring for some contact. Noh might as well have been on an island, one that drifted farther off. “How um...I’ve never been to a dance before. I heard it goes until late. Better out than indoors at my place. Um, speaking of...how are...you know? I didn’t know they sent your parents a letter about the...order.”

“Oh, that,” Noh grabbed himself his beer, already too warm from his palm as he’d waited for Tommy. There was something between them now, a barrier despite how closely they sat together.

“No big deal. They took a lot of shit from my room, tried to ground me, cut my allowance. But they’re really only worried about it getting out. They didn’t even fucking ask what I did.”

He shrugged, that aspect of his life was a closed book to him, one he would never bother to lift the cover of again.

Tommy nodded, sipping again from his bottle. It tasted bitter on his tongue, probably as a result of his churning stomach. Swallowing, he realized a regular conversation passed over them, unable to squeeze in between the tension.

They had to talk about it.

“Are you upset that I...kissed you back then when I got out of the principal’s office? I...look, I don’t know what I was thinking. I did what came natural and,” he ran a hand through his hair, “fuck all this.” He tossed his bottle, satisfied when it shattered against the wall. “Fucking order and fuck them all.”

He hesitated, didn’t know how to answer the question amongst Tommy’s anger. Was he upset that Tommy kissed him? No, not at all. In fact, he’d very much like for Tommy to do just that right now instead of causing a ruckus by breaking glass in the projection room.

And it struck Noh-Varr at that moment. He really wanted Tommy to kiss him. He wanted to go back to his room and touch Tommy all he wanted, to hold him close and fall asleep with him in his arms, fuck the rest of the world and especially fuck Nate. He wanted all of that and he knew at the same time that it wasn’t to be. 

So no, he wasn’t upset about being kissed. He was upset about being kissed and hung out to dry, blown off without ever having a chance.

“I...” no, fuck, he’d just had the thought, it wasn’t ready to be told, especially not to Tommy. 

“I’m not upset about that. I have no problem with you kissing me, okay? I just...” well, what?

“I’m just surprised you’re not taking a girl to the dance if you’re only in it for a chance to get out.”

Tommy half-listened to Noh-Varr, not willing for the impending shoe to drop. When it didn’t, he looked at the other boy, flummoxed. Sometimes he struggled to accept that Noh liked hanging around him for some reason that left Tommy in the dust.

Yet at the words, his shoulders relaxed and he sank back against the wall.

“What the fuck are we doing, Noh?” he exhaled, hands limp between his thighs. “I don’t remember when things got so fucked up in my life that I couldn’t hang out with who I wanted, like I’m some fucking--” he bit his tongue, refusing to ramble, for once. “Listen...I....there’s something else I wanted to tell you.”

He rubbed his brow hard. “Spring break is in a week. My mom...well, Kyle thinks it’s a good idea to get me away from here, from you especially, if they want things all happy and bright. So...they’re taking me out of town for the week. I think it’s just a road trip kind of thing, staying in motels shit I’m sure.”

“...Great.” Noh-Varr could see exactly how everything was going to play out. The world was determined to keep him away from Tommy, and it didn’t matter if they secretly met in hidden rooms or tried to catch glimpses of each during the day. It was so pointless that he wanted to punch something, preferably someone, more specifically Kyle. 

He should close himself off again. This was what awaited every time he opened up to anyone, even when they were as fascinating and fun and frustrating as Tommy. It wasn’t like he was trying to distance them of his own free will, but Tommy had little freedom in his life.

And maybe it would be for Tommy’s best. To go to the dance with Nate, to please his mother by going on holiday with her and her despicable boyfriend and to stay away from Noh. 

“This is all really pointless, isn’t it? I mean, we...we fuck up. I fuck things up for you. And this restraining order isn’t gonna go away. Maybe we should just....you should stop hanging around with me. It only makes your shit worse.”

Tommy’s heart turned into something shriveled and nasty. He thought more on how life shouldn’t be that hard with Noh not around, that he could go on and have friends, maybe go to college, get his mom away from bad men. Maybe he’d even end up dating Nate, have a steady relationship, love him with time. All of it seemed possible.

Yet as Tommy agreed that they should go their own ways, his hand crept out and threaded its fingers with Noh. He inhaled deeply, not saying anything, though he probably didn’t need to. The way his hand clenched Noh’s told everything; for whatever reason, and an absurd one no doubt, Noh stitched himself into Tommy, and to cut him out would leave him with a hole that would continue to yawn and yawn wider open, until Tommy was nothing at all.

The hand in his own felt warm and clammy, and Noh didn’t think he ever wanted to let go of it. Tommy may not have been in his life for very long, but he’d carved himself such an enormous cave into Noh that the thought of him leaving it behind entirely burdened too much on a thin surface that would no doubt collapse in his absence. Why was it so fucking complicated?

Tommy hadn’t said a word, hadn’t really given any thought or opinion on what Noh-Varr suggested.

“...It would be better for you, right? Not having me around?” fuck, he felt his hand shaking and viciously tried to still it, “it’s okay, Tommy. I’m fine. I’ll be eighteen soon and just...go. You were...you are the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Tommy chuckled, but it was void of humor or happiness. Taking a far too deep breath in, he leaned his head against Noh’s shoulder and drew his hand closer so both of his covered Noh’s larger one.

“Noh,” he said after a while of listening to his heart pulse against his eardrums, “you know, I’m pretty popular. I always have been in a kind of destructive way. I’ve never had a friend though. A real friend. I once...Last year, at my old school, I got in with a bad crowd. I thought they were my brothers, stupidly. Thought I could bitch to them and they wouldn’t judge. Well, turns out I was pretty stupid. I did anything they asked, even...took the fall on something they didn’t do. I got sent to juvie and...”

He pressed a little closer, held Noh’s trembling hand a little tighter. “The point is, I never realized what a friend really is ‘til I got to know you.” He didn’t care that he was running late to class now, or that someone could come in to spoil their moment. Every second counted. “I got you, Noh. I always will.”

And he knew that was true, just as he knew by saying so he wrote off the one chance at a tranquil life.

Noh-Varr was trying to stop his body from being so damn emotional, taking deep breaths to calm down, not sure what had gotten him so upset in the first place. Tommy was so close now, Noh could practically feel his pulse and the warm hands cradling his own were an anchor he approached gingerly once more. 

Tommy did have him, he didn’t even realize how much he had Noh, how deeply he’d drawn him in and kept him there.

“You’re a dumbass, you know? You could have it easy, ride out all the bullshit til you’re eighteen...but,” he squeezed at Tommy’s hand, but it wasn’t enough, so he tugged him closer, into the hug he’d missed out on earlier.

“Thanks. For being a dumbass for me. I got your back, even if we can’t be together...like...hanging out or anything.”

Tommy was a fool for diving into the embrace, pressing as much of Noh as was possible against him, feeling it was the last time they would hug each other like this for a long while. If Tommy buried his face in the other boy’s neck, he couldn’t help it.

“I know you do,” he said. “We’ll...I’ll...figure something out. Stay sharp.” 

He didn’t want to peel away, and had no clue how he managed to.

“I’ll be okay,” he said, smiling through the lie, “what shit can go wrong in a couple of years? I’ve dealt with it most my life and at least I’m bigger now. So...don’t worry about me. Just...take care of yourself? I need you in top shape when we can both get the fuck out of here.”

“I’ll be there. The second you turn eighteen, we’re blowing this place, okay?”

Noh-Varr knew their time was up, but leaving this room meant not talking to or seeing Tommy, for the foreseeable future. He faced his solitary life once more and now that he’d known how it was to have someone beside you, he could barely stand it. Before Tommy had the chance to leave him standing here alone though, he lunged. Just one more time, he needed to feel Tommy against him, taste him so he might carry a memory.

He kissed him with the air of desperation, fingers on Tommy’s head, in his hair, on his neck as he poured his soul out into the other boy through the touch of their lips.

And Tommy kissed back, carving each detail of Noh’s mouth, tongue, the way he breathed during the kiss, to memory. His hands splayed over familiar muscles, reminded of their strength and gentleness when handling Tommy. A pang in his gut told him bad things were to fall before they could touch hands again, and he didn’t question that friends didn’t kiss like this, didn’t grip each other like they might die if they didn’t have something to remember the other by.

It ended so soon, Tommy lowering his mouth and pressing his forehead to Noh’s. There had been so much more to tell him, but to bring about how things went at his mom’s place meant less room to do things like this.

“See you,” he said, promising it, just not sure when exactly that promise would come to light. He gave Noh’s hand a final squeeze, granted him a final look, and he was back out part of the student body, Noh already a distant memory he had no plans to forget.

*  
He didn’t know why he couldn’t just stay away. Noh-Varr had no plans on how to reel his life back into his own control, that much was obvious by the fact he’d showed up at all.

Of course, he wasn’t attending the Fling dance in any official capacity. Not that he couldn’t have gotten a date, there were girls who would have been willing if only to show off the handsome outcast to their friends. But he didn’t want to be seen here, nor did he want someone to hang off of his arm and draw attention to his presence.

He told himself he wanted to see his schoolmates make fools of each other as they danced and thinly veiled their hormonal tension. He was absolutely not here to see Tommy on his date, not at all.

It was a nice enough delusion he’d settled his conscience with as he continued to watch from the lighting rig, a beer in hand as he got comfortable enough for the evening.

Tommy, on the other hand, very much attended the dance. He hardly contained his surprised at a limo pulling up three blocks from where he lived (as if he’d let Nate see where he lived or the crazy folk inside), decked out with all the ribbons and stops.

Admittedly, he felt a little at ease being inside the limo, having plenty to distract him. The team was bursting with energy, even if they made jabs at Nate having a ‘boyfriend’ now. All in good humor, anyway. The girls were all hot, naturally, as good looking guys would never be seen with an average or ugly gal.

By the time they rolled up to the dance, Tommy could pretend nothing waited for him back home--Kyle made it clear what was to come when he did. Now, he could smile, play along with Nate and accept his arm as they entered the school for the dance. The decor certainly screamed spring, and Tommy figured the students supplied the fling part.

“Not bad, huh? We got our own table too,” Nate said, now placing a hand on his low back and guiding him to the dance floor. “Mind if we...?”

Tommy shrugged, eyes scanning the area and not at all looking for the one boy he did give a damn about more than anyone. “Yeah, sure. It’s one thing I’m good at.”

Nate laughed and ushered him forward, taking his hand. They got a set of looks, most amused, very few disdainful. Tommy smiled at each of them, though when it came time to rest his hand in Nate’s and on his shoulder, he felt out of place.

“It’s okay. I’ll lead,” Nate said, and started doing just that prior to Tommy protesting he could lead fine on his own.

When the lacrosse team finally arrived, Noh-Varr stiffened up in his position above the sights of all. Tommy. Tommy at Nate’s hip, Tommy being lead to the dancefloor, Tommy with his hands on Nate as if he belonged there.

It crushed something deep in his chest, and yet he’d known this was a sight that would await him. Noh gripped the bottle tightly and tried to plead with himself to stop looking, to just go home and forget all of this, but he could not.

He wondered if Tommy remembered how it felt to kiss him, how they’d held each other in bed, in the bathtub, wondered if Tommy thought about his mouth on his hips and ass, or Tommy’s on his shaft.

Noh doubted any of that clouded the boy’s mind tonight. He looked good, dressed up for Nate who watched him with the eyes of a love-struck man.

And Noh-Varr hated him. Hated every second of Nate being close, holding his friend and taking what Noh would never have a chance at. He shifted on the lighting rig, ignoring the way it groaned in protest at his weight as his eyes followed the dancing couple.

Despite his insistence to lead, Nate danced well. Graceful, good form, those were just a couple of descriptors that Tommy added to Nate’s repertoire. His hands, strong in their own way, did not match the pair Tommy thought of now when he shouldn’t have.

They danced for a while, and it was...nice. Not great. Maybe if Tommy didn’t have the weight of other problems on his mind, or the longing for a particular loner, maybe it would have been a blast. It did fine for him ultimately, nothing more, and when they broke apart to grab some non-alcoholic drinks (bummer), Nate expressed that.

“You okay?”

Tommy blinked at him. “Yeah. This place is, you know...it’s pretty cool. Better than I thought.”

Nate smiled. “Come here a moment.”

Taking his wrist, Nate navigated them around, cutting through the back and slipping into an area Tommy realized was the theater. A few people littered the area, most making out. Nate ignored them and tugged Tommy along to the stage and behind the curtain where he often committed his lines to memory.

Tommy chuckled at the sight. “What are we doing--” 

His words derailed, tangling up when Nate had him gently propped up against the wall. His eyes darkened, one hand coming to cup Tommy’s, thumb rolling over his lips. That was the sole warning Tommy got and then a pair of lips he wasn’t familiar with pressed up against his.

The good thing about his hiding place was that he could climb along the rig and follow people leaving the dancefloor, as was the case with the only two he’d been occupied staring at with. 

He didn’t like it, but the pain had muted into dull horror as he watched Nate dance and drink with Tommy, laughing and smiling as if this was perfectly easy and nothing impeded on a possible dating future. 

Noh-Varr knew he was jealous, knew the pure, green envy in him was burning up all reason and demanding for a punch in Nate’s stupid, friendly face. Repeatedly.

It was a precarious business, following the couple to the theater stage back area, but he managed, hanging onto a large spotlight that thankfully wasn’t being used tonight. And then he saw it.

Noh thought this must be what drowning felt like, no matter how hard he gulped for air, none would reach his lungs as Nate kissed Tommy. 

Tommy, to his own horror and shock, didn’t pull away when Nate kissed him. In fact, as if filling into a role of not wanting to reject his safe option, he actually kissed back. His hands threaded through Nate’s hair, then rested on his neck when he didn’t like the way it felt in comparison to Noh’s.

Thinking of him made Tommy kiss Nate harder, loneliness, frustration, and some other ugly emotions filtering into his frantic mouth.

Nate chuckled through his nose and shed himself off the kiss, gripping Tommy’s jaw lightly.

“Calm down there,” he said, “you’ve been antsy all night.”

Tommy licked his lips and decided he could kiss Nate again, could learn to like it if it meant getting something out of it. Peace? Sanity?

“What are you talking about,” he said.

“Tommy, you can talk to me,” Nate said, and Tommy believed him.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said, wiggling free, which didn’t get him anywhere given that the wall supported his back.

Nate sighed, not at all unnerved. “Look, I really like you. I know you might look at me like a rebound--”

“A what?”

Nate frowned, tilting his head. “You were messing around with that Noh guy. The guy who intimidates everyone?”

“I didn’t think you were one for rumors.”

“You had hickeys.”

“I’m not pathetic enough to go for rebounds, Nate. And...we weren’t, that’s...it’s not your business okay?”

“Okay, okay. I didn’t mean any harm by it. Just...I don’t know. You look like you got it bad for him.”

Tommy stared, more horror-stricken than when he had kissed back. Had it bad for Noh? That wasn’t possible. That didn’t even...compute.

Nate was sighing and running a hand through his hair. He smoothed it back down and planted both hands on Tommy’s hips.

“Sorry,” he said. “I just got worried. I want you to feel good, Tommy. To be...happy. I want to try and help with that. I know things aren’t going...well with home stuff. I mean, I don’t buy the rumors at all about what happened at the hospital.”

Tommy snorted and fixed a spot on Nate’s chest. “I have nothing to say about my home.”

“Tommy, come on. I know something’s going on. If you don’t say something, it’s going to come out in a bad way later. Really bad. You might start hurting--”

“You’re not my fucking mom, alright?” Tommy snapped, louder than he meant.

This was a dance, not some fucking therapy session. Nate did a fine job of jabbing his finger into holes Tommy wished didn’t exist.

Noh didn’t hear most of the conversation, frankly he doubted he would hear if a bomb dropped on the town right now, or right onto his head. All he could see was Tommy, kissing Nate as if his life depended on it. Tommy clinging to Nate, threading his fingers through his hair, giving him everything Noh thought about way too often and it hurt.

It fucking hurt. He wanted to leave, didn’t want to stay and watch the blossoming romance his friend, his only friend, was obviously about to endeavour upon.

But he’d climbed onto the lights in a very awkward manner in his mad scramble to keep an eye on Tommy and Nate and now, it was impossible to retreat quickly. As carefully as he could, he shifted his weight back, tried to find a path that would lead him away from here, so his eyes would no longer feel like they might burn with j he hadn’t shed since he was ten years old. 

But as the universe would have it, it had to fuck him over in order for the night to be complete. The rig gave another warning groan, this one loud enough to warrant the attention of the various couples on the backstage, and then the rig gave in.

Noh could only react by curling his body in and turning his fall so he wouldn’t land flat on his back as the lights, rig and everything attached to it came crashing down, half of it on top of him.

The noise shut Tommy and Nate right up, and then when the lights came down, along with everything that had once kept it up high where it belonged, Tommy saw him. Noh-Varr falling, falling as if he was doing some twisted rendition of a falling angel z, really, he had that appeal to Tommy--though that was his secret.

Shoving Nate aside, Tommy scrambled over, crying out his friend’s name.

“Fuck, Jesus, what the fuck are you doing,” he shouted at Noh, checking his face over.

“Noh-Varr?” It was Nate, hurrying over and aiding Tommy with another guy to haul off the parts pinning the fallen idiot down. “What the hell was he doing up there?”

Tommy ignored him, hands flying over Noh. “Are you hurt? What the fuck is wrong with you! You could have snapped your neck.”

His body hurt, ached, worse than most of the falls he’d experienced in life so far, and there had been plenty, but he knew nothing was vitally damaged. Maybe a broken rib from one particularly heavy spotlight, but his legs and arms felt fine. His head was a different story. Everything was spinning, lights bleeding into a murky mixture, and his ears rushed with his pulse, and Tommy’s voice. Fuck. Fuck.

As soon as everything had been cleared off of him, he recoiled from Tommy’s hands, though they only touched him out of concern for his safety, he couldn’t help knowing Nate’s scent clung to them.

“I’m fine, just get off of me,” he growled, and there was nothing affectionate in his tone, not even for his friend. He wasn’t fine, very far from it, and okay, there was blood, but it didn’t feel like anything horrific, maybe some glass cuts from the lights. He’d be perfectly fine taking himself home and then dying of shame he’d been found out.

“I said I’m fine!” he snapped as a pair of hands tried to help him up. Much like a feral, wounded predator, he forced himself to his feet, glaring at any aid and keeping his gaze away from Tommy. He needed to get out of here. Though his head was spinning and he tasted blood, he still remembered the way out and made his way to the exit.

Tommy gaped after him, his fingers burning from where Noh had slapped him. Once he saw Noh retreating, he realized then that he must have seen them kiss. And Tommy kiss back.

“Shit,” he said, not knowing why it mattered. They weren’t together. Who cared if Noh was jealous?

Tommy repeated that line and darted after Noh, unaware of Nate hot on his heels.

“Jesus, wait, Noh!” he broke into a sprint to catch up, grabbing the stubborn moron’s arm. “Fuck, sit down. I think you broke something. Fucking-Noh, don’t look away from me.” He grasped Noh’s chin to drive the point home. “Noh, it’s me. I got you, remember? Just...let me look at you, okay?”

Noh wanted to spit blood at Tommy’s face, wanted to throw back every little shard of that statement into his friend’s being, wanted to break something the way Tommy had done to him when he’d kissed that fucking moron so openly. But he didn’t. Tommy forced him to stop, even sit and he winced, his body running out of angry adrenaline and informing him that he might indeed be hurt a little worse than a few cuts.

Noh-Varr spit the mouthful of blood to the street, but his eyes would not meet Tommy’s.

“Fuck off, Tommy, just go back inside, I’m fine.”

Tommy didn’t fuck off or go inside. He did, however, accept the first aid Nate spawned before his eyes. A quick look told Nate to back off for now, and the captain did just that, keeping his distance as Tommy dabbed at Noh’s face.

For good measure, he yanked on Noh’s hair harder than necessary to get to a wound at his temple.

“You’re fucking ridiculous, you know that? What the hell are you so jealous for? Don’t answer,” Tommy said, bullying Noh into lifting his shirt off. He hissed at the bruise. Fingers gently prodded the area. “You’re not losing me, Noh. Not so easily. I...I thought about being with Nate, you know. He’s safe and all that, but...”

He stopped talking, not daring to tread in dangerous water. He didn’t look at Noh that way, couldn’t. Not now. Not ever?

Tommy bit his tongue. “Spring break starts soon,” he said, looking up at Noh’s face even if he refused to meet his eyes. “How do I know you won’t be breaking more ribs when I’m away?”

“You don’t. And it doesn’t matter,” Noh had found something, a car, a piece of trash on the street, anything to keep his eyes from Tommy or the fact he was sitting shirtless on the side of a road with his friend yanking on his hair and touching his skin, prospective boyfriend only a few feet behind him.

“I’ve managed before you came along, you know? I’m fucking fine on my own. This was stupid yeah, I’ll admit to that, but don’t you fucking dare think I was up there because of you,” his tone turned dangerously venomous by now, “I wasn’t!”

Noh-Varr was all claws and hisses, not unlike a stray cat cornered, nowhere to bolt in the slightest. So of course Tommy had to laugh, a sweet sound that hadn’t left him in weeks, and he had to stop wrapping Noh’s chest to ride it out.

“God,” he said as he overcame the worst of the giggles, finishing his work, “do you have any idea how stupid you sound?” He used a free hand to guide Noh’s face over to him. “I like your stupid,” he added, softening his smile. “Come on. You can do the tough act with someone else, but not me. It’s...It’s good to see you.”

Noh watched him silently, not admitting in the slightest that the sound of Tommy’s laughter was much better than any painkillers he’d ever taken, all of his aches soothed to nothing but small annoyances now as he let himself revel in the fact that Tommy was holding his face, Tommy was smiling at him, Tommy was happy to see him.

“Didn’t mean to crash into your date,” he muttered, wiping at his lips and fixing his eyes to Tommy’s chin. He was such a idiot. He should just tell Tommy, right now and here how he felt and what he’d realized. But he didn’t. He didn’t dare.

“Literally,” Tommy said, sniggering again. Though he had finished tending to Noh, patching up what he could, he sat beside him on the curb, hearing the thrum of the music wash over them. “You’re...cute, you know. Worried you’re going to lose your first friend like that.”

Before Noh might bite his fingers off for the comment, Tommy leaned against him as he often did, threading their fingers once more together, made to fit.

“The watchdog will come out soon,” he warned. “But...just a few minutes, okay? Then you can storm off. I won’t see you until after spring break.”  
Tommy’s hand belonged in his, was Noh’s first selfish thought for the moment. He gripped it tight, turning slightly so Tommy’s head bumped more into his chest rather than just his shoulder, fully willing to allow them their time together, short as it may be.

“I wish you wouldn’t go,” he muttered, not sure if he meant just spring break or entirely. And he kept his gaze just on Tommy, allowing it to soften, to reflect how much he cared for this one boy right here. 

“Gonna be pretty boring without you around. You know I started taking baths, I still don’t get why you dig them so much.”

Tommy couldn’t believe he was laughing again, this time at the image of Noh-Varr, scowling and with creases in his brow, sinking into a bath riddled with bubbles. He needed a camera to capture that moment one day for sure.

“You’ll get to like them, just...relax. You know, meditate.” Tommy snuggled, really snuggled up against Noh, listening to his heart. “I know. But I’ll see you. Somehow. Once I get back. I’ll skip first period, waiting by the projector room. No, in it. There’s no class around there. I can sneak in at that time.”

Noh’s arm fell around Tommy to keep him close just a minute longer, every second they could snatch together was worth it. Tommy was warm and real and here and it should be this way forever. Not necessarily with the bruised or broken rib, but with the younger cradled in his arms for sure.

“I’ll be there. I’ll wait for you...I guess I’ll come up with a map of places I wanna go...you know, on your eighteenth?”

Tommy hummed in agreement, liking that idea more than he should. A road trip, that’s what they had to do when Tommy hit eighteen. He held that goal and anchored himself in it. When he basked as long as he could in Noh’s body, he got up, cold and eager to dive back into his arms.

“Don’t be falling from tall places while I’m gone,” Tommy said, smirking and shoving his head lightly where the bruise began forming. “I might punch you for it.”

He started walking, lest find himself rooted at Noh’s hip. He passed Nate, ignoring him, needing time alone. Maybe he’d dance it away on the dance floor, drink enough juice to get himself punch-drunked, anything that might fill the gap he was creating as he left Noh.

Nate, however, didn’t return or follow Tommy, arms crossed and eyes set on Noh. Coming up to Noh meant approaching a wild animal, and he kept his distance smartly.

“Listen,” he said, “I know how Tommy feels about you, but there’s an order in place. I believe that means you shouldn’t be around him for good reason. You’re not good news, Noh, and Tommy’s got enough to deal with, got it?”

Noh-Varr felt the yearning for Tommy start up the second the boy left him, and it made him raw and broken and all sorts of vulnerable inside.

Seeing him leave only brought in the cold and he shivered, despite the lack of a real chill in the air.

Nate’s voice was distant, but his words rung crystal clear in Noh’s mind.

He got to his feet, not wishing to be in the inferior position for the inevitable struggle about to take place.

“Don’t call me Noh as if you know me, Richards,” he spat, shrugging his shirt back over his well-defined chest. They stung, those words, and that was new. Nothing affected him, nothing and no one and fuck, he was bleeding from an entirely different wound, one that couldn’t be tended to by anyone but Tommy.

“You’re saying I’m not good enough for him, right?” his jacket brought back some warmth to his body, but left his soul cold, “but you are?”

Nate straightened, though he lacked Noh-Varr’s height. He compensated for it in other ways, and the taste of Tommy on his mouth added to it.

“I am,” he said, with a nod. “I’m not saying you’re a bum or anything like that, but I know you got issues, deeper ones than most of these pampered kids have. You think two kids from the same kind of background make it work? Fire playing with fire? You’re a disaster waiting to happen, and it’s going to happen sooner than later. Tommy needs stability, and you need to lose your infatuation with him and put it on someone else, someone who can do you good too.”

Nate exhaled and lowered his arms, fists set. “I like him a lot too, enough to make sure you stay away from him.”

Normally, Noh-Varr wouldn’t have minded throwing a punch for his pride’s sake right about now. No one called him a disaster waiting to happen like he was some sort of train wreck, and got away without at least a broken nose.

The problem was, that all of it was true this time and not bullshit he could so easily dismiss. He was fucking awful for Tommy. They got along so well because they both grew up so...badly. They knew what shit life threw at them and found comfort and understanding in each other.

But it wasn’t enough for Noh. He wanted Tommy, all of Tommy, to himself. Didn’t even want to share him with his godawful mother, too weak to break away from a guy who beat her and her kid up.

But that was not what Tommy needed. Gods, he was so fucking selfish. Tommy was his friend, and Noh was doing a nice job at fucking up every aspect of his life. Even ruined a stupid fucking date with a guy who was probably nice and sure as hell more reliable than he was.

Nate was damn good at twisting the knife in his gut and Noh-Varr fisted his hands in his jacket pockets. 

“You...you better not fucking mess around with him, Richards. He’s...he’s my best friend and if you hurt him, if you even so much as think of doing some shit he doesn’t want, I will kill you, hear me? I will murder you in your fucking sleep.”

Nate steeled himself, the threat bouncing off him. Another nod passed though, as if assuring Noh he had just made the right decision, for once maybe.

“I can promise that much,” he said. “Now go. I won’t tell that guy you’ve been around here. If you go. Now.”


	9. Chapter 9

Spring break was even longer than the weeks he’d spent just glimpsing Tommy’s hair in the hallways.

Noh-Varr found himself occupied, during the day, he made plans, though he doubted that Tommy would, once his life had settled now that he was out of it, still be willing to leave everything behind when he turned eighteen. But Noh could dream. And he did. Their roadtrip, in his mind, would be amazing, and Tommy would know how much his friend really cared for him. Since it was Noh’s fantasy, Tommy returned every sentiment fully, and they were long beyond friendship, clinging to each other as lovers, a regular Bonnie and Clyde without the ostentatious bank robbing, but definitely some smaller scope crime.

It was a nice dream, and Noh was beginning to realize, it would be the only Tommy he’d ever be allowed near again.

The first day back was a see-saw. He wanted to go to the room, but he willed himself away. Seeing Tommy would only make everything worse.

Tommy, as many did in his situation, had long ago learned to tap into the inner mechanisms of his mind when times fell desperate. Almost like yanking out wires connecting a television with a scene on it, he did just that to what was not a break at all.

There was him heading home after the dance, and then a missing chunk of time, followed by school starting again.

Tommy stepped into his role, smiling, the works, but it drained him more than usual. Nate greeted him early, leaned into kiss him, and Tommy allowed it, mechanically responding. Since the dance, people had dubbed them a couple, and Tommy went with it, though he suspected Nate knew he really didn’t place his heart into it.

His heart had gone missing, and it wouldn’t be until much later that he would find where it had been all along. 

School meant Noh-Varr, and Tommy did indeed wait for him at the projector room.

Noh-Varr never showed up.

What light had sparked within Tommy dwindled, going out as a cold breeze snuffed it out when the second bell rang.

Still no Noh-Varr.

Tommy realized then what must have happened. The week had done its damage, convinced Noh that Tommy wasn’t worth the time, or maybe he really couldn’t put up with the rumors that he had a boyfriend. Whatever the source, Tommy dragged himself down the hall, and, last minute, ducked into the boy’s bathroom.

There, he willed his heart to calm down. It wouldn’t, his palms growing clammy, and Tommy knew what he needed. Just a little was all he required to get him through the day. He peered around and snuck into one of the stalls, rummaging in his bag until he found the small packet at the bottom where he had hidden it.

He downed a couple of pills without water, and then went to work with the white powder collected in the corner of the baggie.

It took all his willpower not to go to the projector room, but that didn’t mean Noh-Varr could be fine with it. He kept picturing Tommy, his face so beyond disappointed that it stung Noh just to think of it. Fuck. Couldn’t imaginary Tommy understand that this was so much better for him? That Noh really was bad news?

The second bell rang, but Noh couldn’t face just sitting in a classroom, so he ducked into the boys bathroom, not going for a piss or anything, but just to be alone for a moment. He didn’t check if anyone was in here, music in his ears deafening him to the world as he squeezed himself into the space between the last stall and the tilted window, fishing out a smoke and lighting up.

Tommy finished the moment he heard someone march in. He cleared his throat and shoved his stash back into the backpack, already feeling the effects swirling through his veins, releasing tension in his brain. No doubt his pupils were blown wide by now, but he didn’t plan to be making much eye contact today.

Flushing the toilet to pretend he had been using that instead of something else, Tommy shouldered his way out, washing his hands. He froze as he saw a person in the mirror, squeezed into a space by the window.

“Noh?”

Noh-Varr didn’t hear Tommy call his name, headphones still lodged firmly in his ears as he gazed out of the window. He looked miserable. Anyone could see that. Not that anyone cared as to inquire why that was, of course.

He’d lost some mass, the muscles of his arms and chest no longer pulling at his clothes as if they wanted to escape, and his hair seemed to lack any sort of conditioning, hanging into his face with absolutely no care as for styling it back, the way he used to. But most of all, it showed in his face. Dark rings spoke volumes on sleepless nights and the furrows of his frown had become a permanent feature, thin lines always present on his brow.

Noh-Varr looked like shit, really. 

Fueled with unnatural energy, Tommy dried his hands quickly, a mad wrestle with a papertowel, and rushed over, not sure if he should be frowning or smiling at the sight of the one person that grounded him in this shit life.

“Noh,” he called, reaching out and tugging an earphone free. “Hey, I’m talking to you.”

He nearly had a heart-attack with the subject of his thoughts suddenly tugging and yelling at him, but he settled for a coughing fit, having inhaled a second before Tommy yanked out the earbud.

“T-....Tommy?!” the cigarette went sailing out of the window out of reflex really, and Noh-Varr plastered himself into the corner, because if he didn’t ground himself against something solid like the barren wall, he might surge forward and steal Tommy and run. 

“Yeah,” Tommy said, eyes darting all over Noh, then around the area in case someone jumped in. “I waited for you upstairs. Where were you?”

He scratched his arm and frowned, dragging his gaze over his friend. “The fuck happened to you? You haven’t slept in months it looks like.”

“I forgot.”  
No, he really didn’t. He’d be in agony every moment, every breath bore down heavily on him with the memory of their promise, his promise to be there when Tommy got back. And yet, what Nate had said still rang true. Why did it have to be so hard to do what was best for Tommy?

“No, I didn’t,” he remedied, sighing and letting his eyes catch sight of Tommy’s legs, dragging over his knees to his waist and settling somewhere above his stomach.

“I...look, he was right, okay? And I’m just trying...to stay away from you, because...fuck, it’s better for you, and he’s better for you, I’m just a wreck, disaster waiting to happen and it doesn’t matter how I feel about you, I’m not like him. I’m not good for you.”

Tommy listened to it all, knew the moment Noh said he had forgotten it was all bullshit. His explanation rocked him though, and maybe it fused badly with what purred through Tommy’s veins in that moment because he never felt such anger.

“I know what I fucking need and don’t need, Noh-Varr,” he said, shoving him deeper into the corner since he couldn’t land a good punch given the angle. “I thought we had a fucking deal! And what--are you talking about Nate? God, i thought we were over that...that thing, whatever it was! I want to be around you, damn it, and I can do that if I want, so don’t act like you’re doing me any favors by staying away, got it?”

He grabbed fists of Noh’s shirt and dove his face right in, forcing Noh’s eyes to meet his.

“Do you fucking understand what I just said?”

Something was off about Tommy. Noh knew he had a short fuse, but this? This was by far more reaction than he’d ever bartered with. And Tommy’s eyes...they were so wide, so dark...

A chill ran down Noh’s spine and he knew his own anger was not far off.

“You’re fucking high?” he hissed, completely disregarding their topic for a moment, “are you kidding me? You fucking idiot, you’re supposed to be sorting your life out, not making it worse and here you are, fucking high as a kite at fucking school! Did you understand anything I said to you?! Not really, huh? Yeah I was talking about Nate and yeah, it’s this fucking thing again, and it’s always gonna be this thing because that’s what it is between us god damn it haven’t you gotten it yet?!”

Tommy instantly recoiled at the first question, sucking in deep breaths and spitting back, “No!”

Noh-Varr kept ranting though, and every nerve, pore, hair bristled on Tommy. He fisted his hand around his backpack strap as though it held all his treasures and took a step back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tommy said, sliding back further, “not about...that, or...anything else! I’m not high and there’s nothing between us like that! We’re...we’re friends. I got your back. Th...That’s all.” He turned his back and made for the exit. “And I got a class to get to now.”

He couldn’t let him go. He should, but he couldn’t. Noh dug himself out of the corner, surged forward with more strength than his tired body could possibly possess and slammed into Tommy’s, trapping the boy between the door and himself. He was a wreck, and he’d already lost Tommy to Nate, so where was the harm in telling him.

“That might be what you think Tommy, but it ain’t like that anymore. Not for me. I’m...fuck, this sounds dumb as hell and you’re not...fuck this shit. Tommy, I’m in fucking love with you.”

Tommy had cried out at being thrown against the door, his nerves fraying with each second, and altogether wilting at the one word his mind revolved around. Love.

No, not just love. There was a difference between loving someone and falling in love with them. What it was, and how he knew, he didn’t know, but there it was hanging over him, digging into his core, warming him up so much that it terrified Tommy.

Hours passed, no seconds, and Tommy hadn’t said anything.

“I...I...”

Class. He had a class to get to.

“I’m late for math,” he said, tearing away and forcing the door open with strength he didn’t have.

Noh-Varr didn’t follow him out of the door. He didn’t even remember what class he had, didn’t remember if he even cared that he’d forgotten. All he knew was that he’d just made a huge mistake. Never should Tommy have heard the truth from him, no matter how much it ate away at his insides.

With a calm air that wasn’t his, he collected his bag and left the bathroom, trying to remember how to breathe.

Tommy left, but Noh-Varr remained with him, and more importantly, his words. School flashed by in faces, teacher’s voices, and texts he half-recognized. When lunch came around, Nate garnered all his attention, and Tommy found it easy to play along after a little boost in the bathroom again. Now that he sat at a table with people, he missed the bleachers.

He missed Noh-Varr. That much he understood.

And yet he did nothing to seek him out that day. The next day. Or the following.

Tommy got trapped in a loop, hearing Noh confess in his mind, remembering their times together--the times that rang true to what Noh had said. It all aggravated Tommy’s senses, and by the end of the week, he woke up and saw what a frazzled mess he was in his mirror.

He didn’t know how fucked up Noh was now, how much he hated him, or what awaited him when he waited by the lab he wasn’t supposed to be at, but knew Noh should be at.

Noh-Varr had been through plenty of rough times, but this week was one of his worst. He didn’t know why he still dragged himself to school, he knew it was no secret as to what a horrendous mess he was. And he’d fucking cried, for the first time he could remember, all because of a stupid bath and washed sheets that didn’t smell like Tommy anymore and he sickened himself. He was absolutely disgusted at how deeply this love...infatuation, obsession truly ran in him.

School only gave him someplace to be, but it also presented the opportunity for more pain. One which had not gone unnoticed by those less favourably inclined towards him.

“Hey, Mercer, wake up on the wrong side of the coffin again?” 

It was nothing that touched him, meaningless words, but ones he’d grown used to in the last week. His anger had left along with his strength, all thrown at Tommy like meaningless gifts.

He sighed and moved down the hallway past the mocking faces. 

Tommy waited, biting on his fingernail, scratching his arm, shifting from one foot to the other, ready to snap. Too much overwhelmed his plate, and he had to talk to Noh-Varr, needed to. About what, it didn’t matter. Just needed to talk.

The moment he spotted Noh, he took off, not caring who saw.

He shoved between groups chattering, nudges others aside altogether, and grabbed Noh’s arm, yanking, desperate, and pulling him far away from the world and toward the projector’s room.

He took little notice of what else went on, his stomach turning at the sight of Tommy, and it wasn’t necessarily pleasant. Wasn’t it enough that’d he’d been so utterly rejected the first time? Did Tommy really have to reappear in his life to make things worse?

“What are you doing, if the watchdog sees this...”

“Shut up, just shut the fuck up,” Tommy bit back, hauling him to the room, slamming the door and locking it.

He whirled on Noh, letting him see his blown pupils, his wrecked state, which probably looked better than Noh’s.

“Fucker!” He snapped at him, charging, letting his bag fall so he could pummel Noh’s shoulder and chest with what must have been the feeblest punches of the century. “Why did you have to say that?! Why did you have to tell me! Asshole, do you know what you did to me?!”

Tears dribbled down and yet he pursued his intent of throwing a tirade because he had nowhere else to relay his emotions, so brittle and shoved into the darkest corners.

“Why?!” He demanded, dragging his nails over Noh’s shirt, snatching fabric. “Fucker,” he accused, voice breaking in two, “I don’t want to fall for you and that’s all I want at the same time.”

He dropped his head to Noh’s chest, searching for the heartbeat of the guy who had his all this time.

Noh let Tommy’s anger wash over him, he looked so frazzled, as bad as Noh, maybe even worse. And he’d done that. More evidence of Nate’s theory, right at hand. He was bad for Tommy, so very, very bad.

“Because you’re you, you idiot. I can’t...help it. And I’m gonna tell you every single fucking time...Look at us. Look at the shit...I’m doing to you. You look like hell. I bet you haven’t slept. Neither have I. I can’t help it Tommy, I want you, I want to be with you, I wanna blow this all to hell and just fucking...be with you.”

Tommy shivered, rubbing his face against Noh’s shirt, wanting his scent to linger on him. That’s what he wanted, something as simple as smelling Noh, wearing his shirt, watching him work and fiddle with his gadgets. That’s what mattered.

But things didn’t come so easy, even in it simplest form.

“You don’t understand,” Tommy said, voice not even above a whisper. He stepped back and dug the heel of his palms into his eyes, as if that could erase the images he was seeing played out in his head. “He’s,” he shuddered and said it, let it out, “he’s been touching me, Noh.”

If he’d had the strength to give face to his fury, Noh might have been a blur out of the door, out for blood and not stopping even if it meant the worst for him. But right now, in his pitiful state, he could only freeze, seize up as he stared at Tommy, willing it not to be true, for life not to throw this bomb at them too, he couldn’t take any more.

“W-What....?” he knew exactly whom Tommy meant, he didn’t need to hear it. All he wanted to do was to run away with Tommy, right now.

“God...that fuck...that sick fucking shithead fuck,” Tommy needed to be in his arms and Noh didn’t fight the impulse to cradle him there.

“Jesus, Tommy, let’s just...let’s just go. Now.”

Tommy seized Noh in return, like it was Noh who needed him and not the other way around. Sighing against Noh’s neck felt like a chunk of normalcy had pieced itself back together, Noh’s fingers doing all the work to do so. For a while, he merely pressed against him, thinking he could stay like this all night, all day, any day.

“I can’t, my...my mom,” he said, all he could say, as the rest came out as a gross sound, garbled by too much repression. “They’ll find us...if we run.”

“They won’t,” Noh was begging for something, a cause he knew could never be the answer to their problems, but he wanted to know there was an escape, something to look forward to, to hope for, and not in two years, but right now. His arms held tight to Tommy, wrapped around him, affording him the illusion of safety when Noh was no more stable than a rickety plank bridge himself.

“Tommy...” he breathed in his scent and shuddered, body trembling as he closed more of himself around his best friend, his only friend.

“Tommy I love you, please...We have to..do something.”

Tommy knew they had to take action. Action made sense, it got things done, it resolved issues. Tommy prided himself in being a man of action, and he didn’t know exactly when he had stopped. Rather, he had been forced into a cage where none could be taken.

“I love you too,” he said, because it was natural and it helped him breathe. “We...I don’t know. May--”

Someone broke their sanctuary, their fists banging against the door.

“Tommy.” Nate’s voice wafted through the thick door. “Tommy. I know you’re there with him. Let me in. People are talking. You’re going to get in trouble, but let me in. Let me help.”

Noh’s first instinct was to cradle Tommy closer, to make sure no new threat would get at what he held dearest in life. His blood was surging, both in response to the presence of someone unwanted and the ringing words Tommy had spoken. He...loved him too? They would have to clarify that later.

“Don’t answer...he won’t break down the door,” he muttered, Tommy tucked into his arms as he backed away from the door.

Tommy wrapped his arms tighter around Noh, face scrubbing against his shirt. This was too much, the hiding, the sleepless nights, the way his mother screamed at him or cried herself to sleep, the way Noh-Varr looked like he’d turn into a corpse.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he admitted, feeling so weak. “I can’t, Noh.”

He peeled away, squeezing Noh’s hand, proving he wasn’t about to abandon him. Leading him with some effort, he opened the door and Nate hurried in, shutting it behind him again.

“Jesus, you two,” Nate stopped whatever admonishment he worked up in his throat, seeing how damaged, how fucked up they both looked. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

Tommy didn’t meet his eyes, though he did glance at Noh.

“I need more than my word, Noh,” Tommy said, “or...no...cop or anything is going to believe me. Maybe Nate, you know someone who could...I don’t know, get us hooked up with some fake IDs or--”

“Whoa, whoa, what’s all this about?” Nate raised his hands, frowning deeply. “I’m not agreeing to anything until,” he paused and narrowed his eyes. “Are you using? Damn it, you are, Tommy you swore that was a one time thing.”

He made for Tommy’s bag, snatching it in one aggressive act and eliciting a strained cry from Tommy, who battled for it.

“That’s mine! I need it,” he snarled.

Noh-Varr moved pretty fluidly for someone looking so wrecked and he enfolded Tommy into another embrace, taking his face between his hands and completely ignoring Nate’s presence in the room.

“...You don’t need it. Tommy, that only makes everything worse. I know it feels good, but it doesn’t solve anything. I know it numbs the pain, but please, you have to stop.”

Tommy cry came more like a croak, and he shoved at Noh, but got nowhere.

“Fuck off, you don’t know that!”

As he ranted on, Nate rifled through his stash and yanked all of its paraphernalia along with it. He clenched his jaw, eyes peering over at Noh, though the guy seemed intent on ignoring him. The alternative was talking to Tommy, who had no mental state to do so.

“What the hell is going on, Noh-Varr? You better tell me now, and the truth, or I’m getting that watchdog up here.”

Noh held steady onto Tommy, but he managed to work up a glare for Nate. That fucking boy was the last person he wanted or needed right now and rifling through Tommy’s bags wasn’t exactly helping.

“What the fuck do you think is going on? You think he’s using just for fucking fun? Or are you just too damn happy and stupid to see it? I told you to take care of him, you stupid fuck. Does this look like care?!”

Tommy never felt any of the anger, Noh’s control was still impeccable.

Feeling the vibrations ripple through Noh agitated the shivers crawling down Tommy’s spine. He whined, grappling between fleeing Noh’s grip to fall into the stash that had kept him afloat the last month or two, or carving a niche inside of the taller boy for his personal use.

He didn’t hear or notice Nate, having forgotten all about him during his reeling mind.

Nate meanwhile went tense, eyes taking in the sight, absorbing the truth of Noh’s words.

Then it struck him between the eyes.

“Oh, God,” he breathed, lowering his arms, “it’s true isn’t it. I’ve...the way he looked at Tommy when he picked him up. I thought...I talked to Tommy and should have...I should have,” he broke his excuses, breathing deeper in now.

He met Noh’s eyes once more.

“We have to take him to the police.”

“No fucking duh, genius,” Noh still shielded Tommy from Nate, though it was quite unnecessary, he still felt the absolute impulse to hide him from the world. The world didn’t deserve to even look at Tommy, not after what it had done to him.

“Look, we don’t have any proof except his word and I know they won’t investigate. They’ll think he’s doing it out of spite or some bullshit. So I’m gonna...take him away, make sure that dick can’t touch him again...stop him using too.”

Noh’s fingers lingered on Tommy’s neck, already sure that he was willing to risk juvie or possibly prison just for the boy’s safety.

“What?” Nate dropped the backpack, stash included. “No, are you nuts? It might be a short-term solution, but that’s going to be a major problem long-term. They might put you in prison, might send Tommy to juvie. You can’t risk that, Noh-Varr.”

Nate’s gaze focused on Tommy, the way he went into his own world where Noh shone as the sun, the way he glued himself to Noh’s chest and sniffed as if teetering with crying or not.

“Look,” he said, jaw tense, “just...get out of here. Go out the window. I’ll cover, but I’ll call Tommy’s phone later. We...gotta get that fucker with evidence, okay? We’ll figure it out. I care about him too, Noh-Varr, even...if he doesn’t care that much about me.”

His shoulders deflated, recognizing the part he had been playing all along.

“So just get the hell out of here, alright? I’ll call after school. Go...fix both of yourselves up. Then we can...you know.”

“Yeah, fine,” it did suit Noh perfectly well to ditch school, he hardly ever went to class anyway so it mattered little. What did matter was Tommy, and the fact that they needed to spend their time effectively, though he had no idea what they were going to do about evidence against that dickweed Kyle.

“My house, or do you have a preference?” Noh’s voice dropped down into affection and gentleness he never offered to anyone besides Tommy and it should be more than obvious to Nate that he’d been the one not ‘good’ enough for Tommy, as made obvious by whom he was pressed to now for safety.

“Yours,” Tommy said after many heartbeats.

He shakily accepted his backpack, though Nate took the good stuff out of it, and slung it over a shoulder. Not once did he dislodge from Noh, at least half of him stuck to the taller boy, certain once they parted they would cast a rift between them.

With Nate’s insistence they scrambled out the small window. Noh dropped down first, then aided Tommy’s descent, since he lacked moderate balance with his nervous system going haywire. It was a terrifying few seconds not having Noh’s hands on him, and he remedied that the instant they both had their feet on the ground.

Tucked under one of Noh’s arms, Tommy walked with him, crossing over the field that would soon be filled with PE victims.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out as they hit the first streetlight. “For not...saying anything. I could...deal with it,” he added, not wanting to admit what had turned Kyle’s advances into something more sinister. 

“You thought you could deal with it,” Noh-Varr augmented, growling slightly despite his rage not directing itself at Tommy. He’d seen this too many times in the women who would have been his mothers. This faltering, trying to take every weight upon themselves despite of the fact that they did not have to bear it alone. Idiotic, martyr women, and Tommy was behaving the same way, because he too had someone to protect.

“I don’t want to know what he’s done to you...was it for your mom? Did you help her at all by letting yourself be his victim?”

They weren’t really questions, but what he considered Tommy ought to be thinking about.

Tommy tightened his hold around Noh’s waist as if he was doing most of the supporting here.

“He hasn’t tried beating her up, so...that counts as something for me,” Tommy said under his breath. He preferred to dwell little on the helpless feeling that kept swarming over him. He did what he could for his mom, that’s what mattered.

“But,” he said, swallowing, “I...maybe I wasn’t helping. I should have...told you. When it first happened, a while back. I just...I didn’t want to feel like a victim. It’s not like he really forced me,” he grunted and shook off the feel of Kyle, “I don’t want any of this anymore, Noh. I just want to be with you, goof around, help you teach me biology better, watch you work with your computers and radios, I...my mom’s getting worse. I don’t think I can do anything anymore for her.”

“Then maybe you should just stop,” Noh-Varr didn’t consider it a maybe, he knew he wouldn’t let Tommy go home and do something as foolish yet again, clearly, no one could be trusted to help the young man through his shit, actually life seemed pretty adamant about fucking him over continuously too.

“Look, Tommy, I know I’ve told you some things, some shit of what I’ve seen...and I know what you tried to do, but it’ll never help. The only thing you can do is to leave, and hope that’s enough to wake your mom up. I will go anywhere with you, seriously, but you can’t and won’t keep going back to that place.”

Holing up at his house wasn’t really an option though either and if they left, police would drag them back home sooner or later. Noh didn’t know what to do except steal a car, start driving until they crossed at least five statelines and never look back.

Tommy exhaled hard, imagining his mom alone, crying for him with only Kyle to--at that vision, Tommy’s stomach lurched and he held tighter to Noh, understanding to leave could not be an option, unless he sealed his mom’s fate to something grislier than what had already become of it.

“We have....we...Maybe if I just go back for a while, try to talk to her, or maybe convince Kyle we’re moving or something. I can’t leave her like that. With him? No. I can’t do that. She’s so fucked up, Noh. Like, I think part of her is in some other world. I can’t leave her like that with...him.”

“Tommy, for fuck’s sake!” Noh was losing his patience, he’d already been too lenient for his friend’s sake and the line as to what a child could do for its parent had to be drawn somewhere.

“If you don’t go, she’s never going to leave him. She’s gonna keep on living in her little dreamworld and you’re gonna be nothing, have nothing and probably kill yourself because you just can’t live like that anymore and I won’t let it happen, Tommy, I won’t let you go so fucking shut up and stop thinking anything you do will help your mother.”

Tommy pressed his lips into a fine line, shutting up, but not at peace with anything Noh said. He made that evident in his grumpy, inflamed aura as they trundled through to Noh’s area of town, being sure to duck out of sight at any inkling of a cop car or any black BMW--Kyle’s car.

Thinking was all Tommy could do meanwhile, at a higher rate than normal at that. No, he didn’t want to live a life where he did more than he was willing to for his mother’s sake, especially when she still slapped him around and deteriorated herself. No, he didn’t want to leave her either where Kyle might unleash his ire on her alone.

“Fuck,” he said, head dipping lower. Because he was fucked. So was Noh-Varr. Tommy felt it under his palm, how much Noh had let himself go, all because of him too.

“I don’t want to fight, Noh, I don’t have the energy, and what I really want is a good fix, but...I’ll settle for a bath. Okay? I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m fine. Just need some food, a bath, and...I’d like your company.”

Well, those were things he could supply to the younger in good conscience, certainly. A bath, food, and even himself were things he could wish on Tommy for the rest of his life, rather than a fix. The fact that Tommy had started using was more than unnerving, because the boy’s personality, coupled with the problems he faced bode very, very ill. Substance abuse was practically written into his future with permanent ink.

“...Look, we’re gonna go to my house, you’re gonna take one of those ridiculous baths, eat and sleep off whatever you took today, and then we’re gonna think of something. I don’t care about the restraining order, and you don’t have to think about what I told you,” the fact he loved Tommy was almost ridiculous right now, in the face of all this trouble, “and you’re gonna...we’re gonna be together, we’re gonna think of something together okay? So don’t freak out about anything until we’ve done all of that.”

Reluctantly, and with his heart clenched tighter, Tommy had to agree. To place himself in the position of follower versus leader settled his stomach as little as one would expect. But as Noh hauled him up to his room, stripped of almost all things that would indicate Noh-Varr slept there, Tommy recognized he had supplied all of his trust into Noh, without debating its merits (or lack thereof).

Trust. Tommy played with the word as he stood in Noh’s bathroom, fingers itching for a pill, a string of powder, anything really. He did trust Noh, he realized as the bath filled with warm water and hands guided his clothing off though Tommy could have done it alone.

When Noh straightened after helping him out of his pants, Tommy held his eyes and said, “I trust you. With my soul.” Or what remained of it.

He’d been tugging and guiding and taking the lead without saying so much as a word. Noh-Varr wondered if he was qualifying himself for a caretaker position here, because all that filled him was concern for Tommy, so much so he was testing the water, moving his clutter of half-empty bottles and pressing a towel into a little neat square that could serve as a pillow.

It didn’t matter that his room was empty, that everything he’d held as important had been taken from him, thrown into the trash in front of his eyes. Machines that had taken months to plan and even longer to construct, and his so-called mother threw them out with the broken electric toothbrush and kettle. He wondered what she would say if she knew she’d thrown away thousands of dollars...

Tommy’s words had him count his breaths, steadying the in and out so he wouldn’t forget how to do again, just because Tommy trusted him.

“Then get your soul in the tub, Tommy.” 

He didn’t want to talk now. He felt ridiculous for letting go of himself so much simply because he was in love with Tommy now. In the face of the boy’s troubles, he was an absolute idiot.

Tommy obeyed, dipping one foot, then the other, and sinking in with a sigh that bordered familiarity. To think he had been here not that long ago, though it felt like half a century ago. There, soaking in Noh-Varr’s tub, Tommy felt what must have been assurance and safety. Maybe this is what infants felt when their mom’s cradled them close to their chests.

He didn’t remember closing his eyes, but when he opened them, his skin caved into wrinkles. Blinking hard, Tommy sat up, marveling that he had dozed off without a heavy thought in his mind.

“Noh?” he called. “Why aren’t you in here with me?”

Well, Noh-Varr had made food for one. Unsure of what Tommy had wanted, he’d simply made sandwiches and a collection of fruits and snacks, all of which he’d had to sneak past his mother who’d returned to the house with a glum expression and an odd vibe. Noh had been nothing short of a ninja, thanking whatever scandal preoccupied the woman as he ferried the last of the food upstairs, closing his door just in time to hear Tommy reawakened.

“Shhhh,” he warned, double-locking the door of his room before returning to the bathroom, tray with food in hand and deposited on the sink for now.

“I wanted to get you some food. Good news...as you can see, I got food. Bad news, my mother is downstairs and she absolutely cannot know I’m home and especially not that you’re here.”

Tommy rubbed his eyes, then blinked the water out of them from doing so. Oh, right. They were incognito at Noh’s place, with the stepford wife lurking below. Tommy had a sudden reference to a crappy 1940s horror movie in his mind.

“Food. Thanks,” he said, reaching out from the tub and grabbing a handful of grapes to munch on. “How...is she? I mean, since all this has been going down? Any new developments?”

Noh-Varr shrugged, wondering if maybe he ought to be paying more attention to his own home ever since the disaster of the restraining order letter’s arrival. But the problem was, he didn’t care. He didn’t have any latent desire for a good, wholesome home, he was so far beyond it by now.

“Kinda neurotic, paranoid, nuke waiting to happen. Jordan’s been keeping away,” he assumed Tommy would figure that he refused to call the man father, “probably been bitching at him. She’s started taking a liking to throwing things, that’s why its so empty in there,” he jerked his head towards his bedroom.

“So, you know, same old with a couple of layers of psychosis thrown on top.”

Tommy chewed slowly on his grapes, processing the information. Lucidity in its healthy fashion was within reach now, though he still fidgeted for a little something to calm the frayed edges of his nerves. Something about Noh’s voice had the same effect he began to realize.

Lazing his forearm and head on the tub’s lip, Tommy looked up at him.

“Sounds like both our moms are going off the deep end. Well, your...fake mom,” Tommy winced at the wording. His smooth charm wasn’t in tip top shape. “You don’t think...with um, Jordan being away, there’s some drama going on between them? Maybe he’s cheating or something.”

Not that Noh would care probably, but Tommy knew women, however docile someone might think them to be, could become the most vicious when scorned.

Another shrug and Noh dismissed the notion too. Honestly he would completely understand if Jordan had been cheating on the stepford wife, hell, Noh would probably pat him on the shoulder and tell him to go run free as fast as he could if he ever, you know, spoke to the man. But Jordan, after discovering the fifteen year old had more than just a few issues, had given up on raising him entirely, dumping it on his wife who’d been the pushing factor for the adoption in the first place. When Miranda couldn’t handle Noh anymore, Jordan had begun working long hours and taking every business meeting out of town he could get.

“It doesn’t really matter. If they get divorced, I really doubt either of them will want to keep me...so let’s hope they do it after my birthday. Or on my birthday. Whatever, I’m gonna be gone from here soon enough.”

Tommy nodded and plucked a tangerine, peeling it and tossing the rinds onto the plate. If he had that woman as a wife, he’d be inclined to cheat too if he couldn’t break it off because it damaged what reputation they had scrounged up from who knew what.

“Noh,” he said. “I...really want to leave. To make this work. I can’t stand this shit for long. I think...maybe I should...after the Kyle,” he bit his tongue, “stuff is done, maybe I can find a part-time job. Something legit. Earn some money and maybe...maybe we can leave in a year, instead of two.”

He nodded, completely content with the thought of leaving with Tommy in tow, the sooner the better. He’d be eighteen in a month and free as an adult, and he certainly had no attachments he wanted to deal with.

“What are we gonna do about him though?”

Smashing the guy’s brains out seemed like a wonderful approach, but it carried too much negative repercussion to be true.

Tommy nibbled on his fruit, refusing to indulge in all the rage and disgust percolating since Kyle laid his hands on him, or his mother. The asshole deserved a good beating, and Tommy wished he could deliver it with his own fists. Somehow, during all of the time he’d allowed it to continue, he’d never let himself tap into that anger.

He knew what it would take to get dirt on Kyle, but it meant diving back into the lion’s den.

“We have to catch him doing it,” he said at last, eyes focused on his knees. “No one will believe what I say, nor will my mom back me up. If it’s...on video or something...”

Noh-Varr froze up, not liking the implication of that thought at all. That meant letting Kyle put his hands on Tommy, and just for the sake of gathering evidence, it seemed absurd. And yet, there was no other way to nail the bastard.

“...I don’t like it. I don’t want you to be alone with him.”

“What else is there, Noh?” Tommy shouted, distress in need of striking out at something, even if it didn’t ultimately land. “Look, we...Nate’s right. We can’t be stupid about this. We need to catch him doing it, and...it’s okay. I can handle it. I’ll try to fight him off, and get enough of what we need, and you’ll be nearby, right? You can always step in and then we run off with our evidence and that’s it.”

There was a clatter downstairs and Noh-Varr knew the bad feeling in his gut wasn’t about to be lifted. It sounded like his mother had heard the voice upstairs, but her investigation would be stopped by the double lock on the door. It just wouldn’t be pleasant dealing with yet another aftermath, especially with her mood.

But Tommy did make a point, even if he did so too loudly. It was their only chance.

“I want to be close...I need to be there. He’s not gonna...I won’t...let him.”

“I know,” Tommy said, for Noh’s assurance more than his own. “I know. You got me. It’ll...be worth it.”

He offered a quirk of his lips, a former figment of himself as his hand reached out and grabbed Noh’s. Once more his fingers found it easy to tangle with the other’s, and he squeezed with all his might.

“You’re good with gadgets. You can...maybe make something for us to use. We’ll tell Nate when he calls.”

“Do we have to involve him?” Noh’s fingers played with Tommy’s adored the way they fit together and he couldn’t help but paint a future of this in mind. He wanted Tommy to be his, he wanted him to be his boyfriend, his lover, his everything for the rest of his life. It was irrational, fuck, it was stupid, a teenage illusion of finding your soulmate, but Noh couldn’t help being so pathetically in love with the boy.

“He’s...pretty keen on you. And keeping me away from you. Thinks I’m bad news, and I guess he’s right, but...fuck it, Tommy....I’m so miserable without you. Do you think...if we do this, your mom will lift that restraining order? I just want my friend back.”

Noh had dumped a load on Tommy, straight into his heart. The future painted itself beautifully in his mind, bumps and accidentals included. Certainly didn’t compare to the crap he juggled with now, and in that moment he held Noh’s hand he knew it was this fantasy that prevented him from bolting into a life that would be impossibly worse.

“I...yeah. Let’s try. I...we’ll talk about that later. First, let’s get that asshole put behind bars.”


	10. Chapter 10

Just a week after they’d talked about it, the plan was set in motion. Noh ignored whatever private hell his mother was going through and unleashing on him every moment he showed his face at home and focused entirely on Tommy’s problem. Or rather, the unsavoury resolution of it. The camera was a simple gadget, proofed against water and harsh impact just in case things go heated and out of control. Nor was the chip easily removable, so even if Kyle got his paws on it, he’d never be able to pry the evidence out of it or destroy it. 

Noh-Varr would follow Tommy home today after school when the vile man came to pick him up. Nate, much to the outcast’s displeasure, insisted on being a part of this too. He would be scoping out the house, make sure Tommy’s mother wouldn’t be home to see whatever was about to happen. Both young men had an unspoken agreement that if things got out of Tommy’s control, they would step in. Kyle couldn’t beat down both of them.

Tommy missed his pills, and his other choice drugs. It had been a week since he last used and Noh-Varr made it all too clear how he felt on the matter, and had even restrained him last night when jitters and nerves got the best of Tommy; he wouldn’t admit on his deathbed how terrified he felt each hour that took them closer to their plan.

Without Noh-Varr, Tommy figured he had gone down the road of addict easily. His mom had a good stash of antidepressants among other things, but Noh wouldn’t allow it. Solace in Noh’s voice, his hands, his arms, it all worked magic on him. At least he wasn’t picking at his skin or having psychotic episodes.

Though having one sounded good about now. Tommy knew Noh-Varr and Nate had his back, the former more than the latter from a literal standpoint. Noh had a car handy (borrowed) that would trail after Kyle in the event things took a surprising turn.

Along with the camera, Tommy had a piece tucked behind his ear he wanted to keep touching to assure himself remained there. It recorded voices and nothing else, and hopefully picked up on every lewd thing Kyle might say.

Kyle was eerily quiet on the drive home. Tommy looked out the window, pretending all was fine.

They got to the crummy apartment. Kyle told him to get inside as he smoked. Tommy did so, eyes darting around, looking for Nate. Like the guy would be in plain view.

By the time Kyle came back in, a good ten minutes had dragged on with Tommy fussing around in the kitchen. It provided more tools for combating an advance, but it also meant Kyle had access to them too. 

Tommy made to move to the living room when he crossed paths with Kyle.

“Mom working late, huh?” Kyle asked, shrugging off his jacket. He smelled incredibly sober. Cologne maybe. 

Tommy crinkled his nose. “I got a lot of work to do,” he said.

Kyle smiled, leaning against the entryway. “Smart boy, aren’t you?”

“Enough.”

“I thought we could spend some time together.”

Tommy cleared his throat, remembering he was recording this. Seizing that thought, he said, “You’re touching me in ways I don’t want to be touched. Go to a strip club, get a prostitute, if you need something to grab at.”

“Watch your mouth,” Kyle said, a sneer contorting what was once a handsome face. “I got your mom enough as a whore. But, like mother like son, right?”

Tommy staggered back when Kyle reached out, snatching for his hair. “I said no.”

Kyle lunged, boxing Tommy in and pressing him up against the wall. Wiggling, Tommy avoided his touches along his jaw.

“Listen here,” Kyle said, seething and going red in the seconds it took to jump Tommy. “You think you’re such a big man talking to me like that in front of your mom?”

“I’m more of a man than you are.” Tommy hissed at the hands closing on his throat, the knee pressing up between his legs.

“I’m going to show you what a big man gets if that’s what you really think you are.”

Noh-Varr couldn’t stand this. He was holed up in the apartment, in the small room beside the kitchen that was mostly full of groceries and whatever canned goods Tommy’s mother or her boyfriend never consumed. 

He was shivering with rage. The earpiece transmitted every word spoken to him, he knew the camera would be recording that vile man’s action, however close he was to Tommy, whatever inappropriate touches his hands committed. 

They were closer now, Tommy must have been pressed to the wall right in front of the door now, because he could hear the conversation doubly, with his own ears and over the piece. He felt his fists shake, nails biting into his palm, and that’s when Kyle spoke of what a ‘big man’ should get.

And Noh-Varr drew the line. That was enough, right there, it was enough. He didn’t even signal Nate, but he did come barrelling out of his hiding spot, all rage and absolutely no caution as he smashed into Kyle’s side.

Tommy choked on his cry when Noh catapulted out, startling both the victim and assaulter out of their senses. For the time it took for Tommy’s heartbeat to escalate, he pieced together that Noh had tore loose from his hiding spot.

“Noh!”

Kyle’s face morphed from shocked and discombobulated to a shade of anger Tommy had not seen on his face, and he had seen all ranges of the spectrum thus far he said. Crumbled under Noh’s momentum, Kyle let loose a sound that captured all his rage and went on the attack the moment he recognized who had jumped him.

“I’ll fucking kill you,” he snarled, driving his fist into Noh’s jaw and jabbing his knee into his gut.

The rage was pumping adrenaline through him, but Noh-Varr was not in the shape he’d been in the last time he traded blows with Kyle. His muscle mass was still there, but with everything weighing so heavily on his mind, his reflexes weren’t as fast, his aim not as accurate...Noh gave a groan, refusing to roll over and take the punches the stronger, older and heavier man rained on him. 

“Fucking try it you fucking sicko!” he growled, managing to at least dodge a rib-shattering kick and getting to his feet, ramming a shoulder into Kyle’s stomach before he made for a punch to the throat, trying to get his opponent to hesitate, choke for a moment, maybe allow Noh-Varr a breather and time for a strategy. 

Surprise widened his eyes when Kyle caught his fist and crushed it in his own. Fuck. He’d really been slacking off.

“Stop it!” Tommy had skirted around the edges of their fight, searching for a hole to escape and find Nate, or to break them apart. 

When Kyle landed a blow to Noh’s face that had the delinquent staggering back, Tommy threw himself on the brute, latching onto his back after he landed a kick to Noh’s ribs.

“He’s trying to protect me, you sick fuck!” Tommy hoped his screaming made Kyle go deaf.

If anything, it agitated the tantrum, and Kyle ran backward, crushing Tommy between his back and the wall. A strained sound left Tommy, followed by a silent groan when Kyle snatched his hair, hauling him over and chucking him over Noh to crash into the table, knocking it straight onto the side--the same way Tommy landed hard on the carpet.

In a fluid motion following the throw, Kyle took hold of Noh’s hair, shoving his face, making it scrub against the carpet.

“See that?” He spat down at him. “That piece of shit there does what I say because this is my home and I’m God in here.”

For extra measure, as he spoke he twisted Noh’s wrist behind him and pulled, ready to pop out his shoulder.

“You’re just jealous it’s not you getting him to yourself, isn’t it?” he said against Noh’s ear, eyes flicking to a half-conscious Tommy. “You got the same kind of spunk he’s got, you know. A fight makes a man’s arousal get going.”

“You’re a fucking psycho,” Noh hissed, getting a mouth full of dirty carpet as the weight of the man bore down on him, pinning him to the floor. His heart was pounding, his head hurt, his jaw was aching and all the while he strained to see Tommy, Jesus, the guy had thrown him across the room, he could be in serious pain. Not that he himself wasn’t, but his mind struggled to comprehend anything beyond his fierce desperation to protect Tommy.

With a gargantuan effort that probably left Kyle with a handful of white hair, Noh pulled his head free, before he slammed it backwards, satisfied to hear a crunch that might have been Kyle’s nose.

Kyle’s mad scream had Tommy’s eyes fluttering open, though the room melted into blotches of colors, two blurs where Noh-Varr and Kyle were. He didn’t see how Kyle clutched his nose, now oozing red and streaking down to his jaw, or how the man smirked at Noh.

“Gonna show you exactly what I’ve done to him,” Kyle croaked, spitting out the blood that pooled in his mouth. “How with enough time I could get him squirming or making those sweet sounds.”

At his proclamation, he dove forward again, fists up.

He tried his best to forget the words, not to think of them or what they meant, only to have images and memories of his own time with Tommy twist in his mind, with Kyle’s ugly addition. Tommy squirming beneath those cruel hands.

Noh-Varr had never felt so much anger as he did now, and he body wasn’t thanking him for it. He was almost clumsy, failed to let the punches roll off smoothly, missed openings as they were presented to him quite obviously. 

Where the hell was Nate? Where was anyone? A punch came to his temple and his vision was showered with lights and stars, had him stumbling back, blinking, furiously trying to find his opponent.

Kyle’s words struck truer than his fists, and he laughed, a nasty sound, when he pinned Noh to the wall, a hand around his throat. As his nails bit into the skin, he pushed his mouth up against his ear and bit, then sucked hard so Noh, even in his hazy state, would feel it.

“Thought you were going to be the hero, did you? I know about your record, you shithead. My brother’s a cop. Knows your face,” Kyle said, and his hand ghosted down, shoving its way down Noh’s pants and grabbing at a backside that wasn’t his to grope. “You don’t think I know how to get around the system? I’ll fuck you both up good and you’ll have nothing for it.”

Noh’s mind had been spiralling, struggling with the thought of Tommy’s abuse and this horrible man, convoluted thoughts of revenge and yet, a barrier from behind which he’d never get out.

And then the man had him pinned, hand at his throat, touching him like he’d seen men do in front of his childhood eyes, saw the submissive terror on their victims faces, and too vividly, one memory surged to the forefront of his mind. One that would not bear repetition. 

When Kyle groped his ass, Noh stilled, one heartbeat, two, absolute panic paralyzing his body that might have given his opponent thoughts of victory.

And then, all thought was gone from him and Noh whipped his head around, smashing his face unpleasantly into the side of the man’s head, fingers turned claws that seized Kyle’s throat, squeezing with the force of someone terrified of death. 

“Never again,” he hissed in a voice that felt far from his own as Kyle failed to grapple his arms under violent control again and Noh’s knee shot up, the oldest trick still most effective as it rammed into Kyle’s crotch, then his stomach. Lastly, Noh forced the man’s head down and brought his knee up one last time, jumping away as Kyle collapsed to the floor, reeling from the hideous blow to his face.

Noh fell back against a wall, breathing so hard he thought he might have damaged a lung, the air just wasn’t getting into him. Eyes wide and still trapped in a whirl of fright, he stared at Kyle’s unmoving form.

Of course Nate had heard the commotion as it elevated to domestic violence status, and he had wrestled with the window Tommy had failed to remember to unlatch for him. By the time he bolted through the hallway, Kyle moaned from his corner, unmoving and lost in a smear of his own blood.

“Oh, God,” he whispered, first scanning the area, and his concern jumped from Kyle, to Noh, to Tommy. Noh looked spooked, but very much capable of his own two feet, so he collapsed down by Tommy’s neglected form.

“Noh-Varr,” Nate called, then peered over his shoulder. “Noh-Varr! I need you with me. Are you hurt? I need you to call the police. Can you do that?”

He didn’t give Nate a response, chest heaving as he continued to breathe as if he was running for his life. His arms and legs felt weak, all the fight out of him. He didn’t know why he couldn’t move, why his heart was racing in his chest and why his head was full of images, crying women who once called themselves his mothers, sisters, cowering from men like Kyle, men that wanted nothing but to hurt them out of some sick sense of self-satisfaction.

Nate’s voice was far, far away, unable to pry Noh’s fingers from over his ears. Or maybe Nate wasn’t there at all, and Noh was back in that house, hiding under a table, arms clasped over his head as he sobbed silently and wished for someone to take him away, for someone to keep him safe.

In reality, Noh had not moved an inch, despite his body’s lack of severe injury.

Nate cursed and dialed for the police himself, relaying the address and those injured before leaving the phone on the table, hurrying to Noh. Once there, he took the boy’s face in his hands, slapping him lightly.

“Noh, you got to listen to me, look,” Nate said, rattling his head slightly, “The cops are coming. I need you here. Tommy needs you here. We need you here and okay to make this work. We got him, Noh, we got him.” He compressed his face a little harder. “He’s going away a long time.”

“Noh?” Tommy didn’t hear his own voice, but the name resonated with him. He hadn’t moved from where he’d been thrown, nor had opened his eyes further. His hand reached out, feeling carpet that seemed like sand for all he knew.

Someone was shaking his head. Noh-Varr felt his conscious resurface like some kind of whale, breaching through the endless bog of memory as he blinked sharply, heard Nate’s voice and the pitiful echo that was Tommy’s. He tried to talk, tried to tell Nate to get the hell off of him, but all that came from his lips was a long, shuddering, choked sob as his breath tried to reclaim an ordinary pace. 

“We got him?” he whispered, trying to rejuvenate his jelly-like arms, “Tommy?!” his body wasn’t quite co-operating but he sort of crawled away from Nate, grasping the hand reaching for him and laying down right beside Tommy’s hand, holding onto his fingers as if he might fall into an abyss without him.

“Tommy...”

Tommy found the effort buried deep in him to open his eyes in time to see and feel Noh lay beside him. From what his eyesight offered, pitiful as it seemed about now, Noh looked worse if possible, now with scuffs and blotches of blues and purples.

Within his eyes, something haunted Noh, and Tommy didn’t wonder how his hand found its way over to stroke over his brows, soothing what demons tried to weigh down there.

“I love you,” he said, his hand dropping to Noh’s arm, spent. His back hurt funny, his vision did not want to cooperate. It didn’t matter. Noh-Varr was here, alive, if beat up and needing a lot of tending.

The police arrived soon enough and it was only Nate who was conscious and well enough to explain what happened. Noh-Varr stayed where he was, curled around Tommy’s arm, at least until the ambulances arrived. There was going to be a hell of an aftermath to deal with, but Noh didn’t have the consciousness to begin dealing with it.

When he woke up, he was in a hospital bed, wrapped in white, body sore and aching but mind dull with heavy painkillers. He tried to sit up frantically, to find Tommy, and was faced with Miranda Williams’ stricken face instead. Noh felt the breath go right out of him. Shit. What was she doing here? He never considered that his parents would be involved in anything, even if he was still a minor.

“...Mom.” he ground out, and she practically swelled, ready to unleash whatever she’d brought on him right now.

“You...I don’t even have words for you. So listen, here’s exactly what’s going to happen. You’re going to answer all of the police’s questions, give a statement, and then you’re coming home with me. And you will not leave that house until I say so, understand me?”

For once, he didn’t have the strength to fight.

“...Yeah, fine. Where is he?”

She bristled.

“You are not to see that boy again, either. You’ve been nothing but trouble, very, very big trouble ever since you met him and it is going to stop!”

Tommy awoke in the same hospital, and in a room all to himself. Alone, his hand cold where Noh’s hand should have been. When had he fallen asleep?

What followed next occurred without his conscious self present for it all, more like he stood beside his bed and observed the doctor checking him over, telling him he had earned a broken wrist and concussion at worst from Kyle, along with what damage had fallen to his psyche.

Noh-Varr was safe though, that much he learned after raising hell about it. Then the cops, the final questions, the studied video and recording chip, and Nate’s testimony. Kyle wouldn’t be touching him or anyone soon. As for his mom, well, that remained to be foretold.

All Tommy concerned himself with was Noh-Varr, his wellbeing, anything that affirmed what the doctor’s said. The drugs, however, and a demand for an overnight stay kept him cooped up a full twenty-four hours after Noh’s ‘mom’ had lugged him back home.

Tommy learned that from Nate, who visited him.

Thank anything good in this world it was the weekend, and Tommy didn’t have to worry about plays or tests or rumors. With Nate’s help, which was persistent at best and a nuisance at worst, he got carted out of the hospital with the doctor’s blessing and narrowed-eye look.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Nate said. “You shouldn’t be climbing--”

“Then help,” Tommy said, already making for the tree. Fuck it hurt his ribs, but he sucked it up, accepting Nate’s boost so he could crawl onto a familiar balcony not unlike another Shakespearean play. Shame they hadn’t done Romeo and Juliet. 

He panted and knocked hard on the glass.

There was movement in the room, a low murmur of voices, and then someone pulled back the curtain. But it certainly wasn’t Noh-Varr. Instead, Tommy came face to almost face with Miranda, who might have looked like a fury from on high, with her carefully sculpted hair ever so slightly frazzled, the makeup on her face running thin with sweat and absolute darkness in her gaze. She slid the door back, voice polite, friendly even.

“It’s very rude to try and sneak into someone’s house, you know? Didn’t your mother teach you any manners, Thomas Shepherd, I presume?”

“Uh,” it wasn’t the most articulate thing Tommy had to say. “Sorry, I...wanted to check on Noh. You know, he...saved me. I wanted to thank him.”

He kept his voice polite where he wanted to snap at her and shove her out of his way and tackle the man who meant more to him than he ever admitted, so close and miles away with the face and name of Miranda.

“Oh, yes,” Miranda made no movement to get out of the way, her body blocking any sight of the room.

“You see, he’s sleeping now, poor thing is exhausted, but I’ll let him know you dropped by. He just needs some rest and good motherly care right now.”

Behind her, something in the room groaned.

Tommy’s mind, up to that point, floated on its typical level, calm and in the palm of his control. As a mechanism to survive the kind of life he lived, it was essential. Now, it quaked under his impulses, which had gone missing since all of this nonsense had turned its ugly head their way.

Before he caught up with what he did, Tommy threw his weight forward, shoving Miranda to the side. He had heard Noh groan and he went straight for the source.

“Noh!”

The object of his attention was in bed alright, covered up to the waist, dressed in some hideous pajamas that he would never wear of his own free will. Beside him, the bedside table was littered with bottles containing pills, labels promising nothing good.

Miranda recovered from being shoved aside and flew into the room, planting herself in Tommy’s path once more.

“You are a very rude young man, barging in here like this! You will leave right now or I’m calling the police!”

“What the fuck are you doing to him?” Tommy spat in her face that time, ducking around her and snatching bottles. “You’re just trying to drug him into submission, aren’t you? The fuck is wrong with you. He’s a person, not some accessory to make your...your impotent life better!”

He didn’t give a shit how psycho she was. Noh had sacrificed more than enough for him and Tommy didn’t hesitate to return the gesture.

“Bitch,” he sneered at her, “just because your husband’s getting it somewhere else doesn’t mean you can do what you want.”

To make the point clear to her maybe too-lucid mind, he dashed around her and started draining the pills into the toilet, flushing as fast as he could.

Miranda gaped at his words, composure falling away completely as colour drained from her face. Much like the fury she already resembled, she surged after Tommy, wrestling the bottles he’d grabbed from his grip, other hand pulling the phone from her pocket.

“I’m calling the police, this is home invasion! You have no right to decide what my family does in the privacy of our own home! I’m going to get you arrested, you little shit!”

Noh-Varr felt the unpleasant haze dilute, enough to make out the fact there were raised voices in his vicinity. Whatever was pumping through his system made him sick to his stomach and he gave one more groan, leaning over the side of the bed to throw up.

Footsteps were rushing up the stairs and the door slammed open to reveal a mid in his mid forties, eyes wide and shocked beneath thick brows as he took in the scene.

“Miranda?! What the hell is going on up here!”

Tommy fought the good fight that didn’t involve kneeing Miranda in the uterus; he very much wouldn’t have mind, girl or not. Bottles popped open between them, pills scattered on hard floor and fell into toilet water.

When someone burst through, Tommy whipped around, set to punch them in the face. The voice told him to reel in his disbelief and expose the truth.

“She’s drugging Noh! Look at him! He’s sick!”

The man stood where he’d bolted in for a moment, thunderstruck by the scene in front of him. Jordan had just gotten home to an eerily empty house, not sure of what had happened until he heard commotion upstairs. Only to find his wife, fighting a young man with equally bright hair as his son with claws and teeth, pills littering the floor and his adoptive son puking his guts out and looking like he’d been beaten through a few walls. 

He didn’t know where to go first, but from Miranda’s deranged expression, he already believed the young stranger’s words. With a few long strides, he’d enclasped his wife’s arms, pulling her into somewhat of a restrained position and freeing Tommy.

“Miranda, what the hell are you doing?!”

The woman gave an incoherent, furious cry.

“You ask me that?! What time do you call this?! Where have you been?! I need you and you’re never there and this god forsaken bastard you’ve dragged into our lives is making my life hell! How can you ask me that?!!”

The man already seemed weary, but he angled his wife to leave the room, glancing over at his sickly pale son.

“Can you take care of him? I have to deal with her, right now.”


	11. Chapter 11

Were it not for Nate, Tommy worried how he could have hauled someone as big as Noh-Varr to his place. A fetid air clung to Noh, probably an amalgamation of his puking and that scent found in pharmacies, and his muscle mass had dwindled over the last few weeks. With all that Tommy still struggled to employ his own weight to get Noh not only to his home, but in his bath, in clean clothes, and in bed.

By the time they had Noh bullied into clean sheets and resting, Tommy contemplated a long nap.

“Listen,” he said to Nate, “think you can get me some stuff? Some 7up, gatorades, crackers, soups?”

Nate squeezed his shoulder, then took his hand. “Yeah, no problem. You’ll be okay?”

Tommy let him get away with the touches, if just because he had no energy to spare on Nate today. “Yeah. Thanks. I owe you.”

After the captain of the lacrosse team departed, Tommy scooted the chair he sat in closer to Noh, holding a water bottle in his useful hand. 

“Noh?” he said, stroking back white hair and soothing his brows. “Can you hear me? It’s Tommy. I need you to drink some water.”

He was lucid enough to understand he was being moved, though he wasn’t sure where to or why or by whom. There was a bed though, clean-smelling, nice...and no more pills being shoved into his mouth, no more insistent screeching about what a horrendous child he was...

There was a voice out there now, and it pleased him to hear and recognize it. Tommy...why was Tommy here? 

“Don’t want water...” he moaned, whined.

At least Noh had the capacity to speak, even if it was to whine. Tommy grasped it as a good sign and continued rubbing his thumb over Noh’s forehead.

“You need a little,” Tommy said. “Then we’ll give you something light for your stomach. You puked out most of the pills I think. That bitch,” he reeled in his anger, “it’s okay. You’re safe from her. I got you. I said I did, and I do.”

Though Noh looked worse than a corpse, Tommy leaned forward and kissed his temple, speaking against his skin.

“Please. Just a little. I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself.”

Noh gave an irritated groan, even through the haze, he did not appreciate being guilt-tripped like this. Or rather, Tommy using his simple weakness for him.

With a grunt and a heavy snort of a breath through his nose, he wiggled to sit up, lifting a hand to accept the bottle of water.

“Can’t a guy be sick in peace?” he ‘complained’.

“Soon,” Tommy promised, “in between me bossing your to eat, pee, and drink. Not in that order necessarily. Sorry. I would have held it but I’m right handed and...well.”

He lifted his stump for emphasis, smiling a bit. It felt good to smile around Noh, given that one of them had broken bones and the other near overdosed on pills.

“She can’t hurt you like that anymore, Noh. You’ll stay here for now. I’ll...talk to my mom. It’ll work out.” He took the water from Noh and tried to make him comfortable, which in his mind equated to fluffing pillows and drawing up blankets.

“How are you feeling?”

“Confused...but nothing’s hurting,” at least, he didn’t think so, though whatever was giving him this weird, unnatural mellow haze was certainly not what the hospital had prescribed for his managable injuries. That he’d gotten in this very house. Noh wondered for a morbid second if his blood was on the carpet downstairs.

“What happened? I...was at the hospital, and then at home...what am I doing here?”

Tommy flipped between telling and not telling, both with downfalls that had him squirm. He played it off as a fidget and decided if the roles were reversed he’d want to know the truth. Bullshitting wasn’t his style anyway.

“I found you at your place. I got discharged a day after you. Your...Miranda, she drugged you up real bad, Noh. I think she planned to keep you so drugged you couldn’t ruin her reputation.”

Hearing it himself had Tommy’s blood going cold. He gripped Noh’s hand for balance and sat on the edge of the bed.

“I started fighting with her, and I guess your foster dad heard and came up. He...I’m kind of grateful for that. He got her and told me to take you. I think it must have been the first kind thing he’s done for you...I don’t think he’s so bad anymore.”

It wasn’t all that surprising to hear, which spoke plenty on Noh’s family life experience so far. His hand held onto Tommy’s with gratitude, not fear.

“I think its the first time he ever did anything for me...Is this alright? Me being here? Your mom’s not gonna go crazy?”

“Don’t worry about that. You’ll stay here. I’ll be here. That’s what matters,” Tommy said, stroking his thumb over Noh’s knuckles. “Don’t worry about school either. We’ll see how you feel on Monday. If you’re better but weak, I’ll get your homework for you, and I can practice my lines here with Nate. I rather be close to you to make sure you’re okay.”

It seemed natural for Tommy to step into that role, the one his mother never really had, nor a role that Noh had been on the receiving end of. Someone had to care for Noh, it was written in Tommy’s code, and sacrificing free time to work harder to make that happen wasn’t an issue for him.

“You’re gonna nurse me back to health, huh?” Noh managed a small chuckle, then he shuffled over as much as he could without letting go of Tommy’s hand.

“...could you maybe sleep here?” He didn’t want to explain the thousand reasons for needing Tommy in bed with him right this very second, to know he was okay, and here and that they’d done it. They had gotten Kyle, and Miranda too, and nothing was going to keep them apart anymore.

Tommy couldn’t say no if someone was threatening to tear out his nails. Mindful of Noh’s sensitized body, he navigated his way around and pushed up against Noh’s back, acting as a big spoon though his body had been chiseled as a small one.

“Sure thing,” he said, an arm loosely around Noh’s waist, stroking his stomach. “Nate’s getting me some food for you. So just sleep for now.”

He gave a tiny, miniscule grumble at the mention of Nate, but he figured he owed the guy some non-hostile gratitude too, since he had called the police and an ambulance when the whole fight with Kyle happened. And he’d probably been helping Tommy ever since then too, which, again, Noh should be grateful to him for.

He tucked himself closer, lacing his fingers with Tommy’s and tightening his grip around his waist as his back met Tommy’s chest, bodies curving together and even fitting like this.

“I got you, you got me. I think I’m happy right now.”

Tommy was too, and didn’t have to say so for Noh to know.

Nate arrived when Noh hit the REM stage of sleep. Good thing, since Nate’s voice might have stirred up ill feelings that an equally ill boy did not need to undergo with a stomach full of pills. Half-stomach full maybe.

True to his nice guy attitude, Nate laid out the goods conveniently for Tommy to grab. After that, and with some hissing argument, he got Tommy to detach himself from Noh to shower and eat. Pulling the ‘you’re no good to him if you get sick too’ line worked.

Fresh out of the bath a good forty minutes later, which meant Nate had to step in to report Noh’s progress throughout, Tommy felt refreshed and set to tackle what was next.

“I think he’s waking up,” Nate said, impeding on Tommy’s plans. “He’s moving around. He keeps hugging the pillow.”

Tommy sat again by Noh’s side, stroking his hair. “He needs to rest. Thanks,” he added in a whisper. “For...you know.”

“Well, I’m not a total douche. I do expect to...talk later.”

“Listen, Nate--”

“I’m not giving up on you, Tommy. We don’t have to talk about it now but I’m letting you know that I honestly think we’d be, you know, good together. I can help, support you, give you things he can’t. I’m not saying you have to stop being friends, but a relationship? That’s just...well, I won’t ramble about it now.”

Tommy sighed, pinching his nose-bridge with his fingers. “Fine. Look. My mom should be home soon. She...uh...was in the hospital and she texted me a while back saying she’s on her way. Can you...”

“Yeah. I’ll watch him. Promise.”

Noh had begun waking when Tommy came out of the bathroom, but the conversation startled his mind wide awake. He didn’t open his eyes, just put his head closer to Tommy’s hand, relishing the feeling of his affectionate touches.

Nate’s words though sent his pleasant feeling right towards the edge. He’d confessed his love to Tommy, granted not in the best circumstances, but he was pretty sure the boy remembered every single word. 

And yet, here he was, not inclined to reject Nate, and probably not giving any consideration to the possibility of trying for more than friendship with Noh-Varr. It hurt. It coiled his gut in pain and he felt like puking again, though he suppressed the impulse.

“Tommy...” he whispered, giving away that he was conscious as his head almost rested in Tommy’s lap.

Tommy dislodged any attachment to Nate and poured himself over Noh. 

“Hey,” he said, lips twitching. “I’m here. We got you some crackers. Do you think you can have some? I can help give them to you if you need. But you really should have a little.”

From the corner of his vision he saw Nate’s form get up and grab what must have been the crackers, offering them to Tommy, who took it and managed to wrestle one out.

“Come on. It’ll be like you’re my genius pet parrot,” he said, and before he knew he was doing it, kissing Noh’s cheek, right near his ear.

The boy in his lap couldn’t help the smile, feeling Tommy’s lips press more of his affection to his cheek. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Nate closely, saw him shift uncomfortably at the display and suddenly, Noh was determined to milk Tommy’s nursing care to the fullest. He turned himself slightly so he could look up at the boy he was in love with.

“I think I can manage some, though, you know, if you could feed your parrot, Polly would be happy.”

Tommy obliged with a chuckle, sitting up to prop Noh against pillows, which Nate had to assist with. Once the ‘parrot’ was settled, Tommy sat close to him, lifting the cracker and depositing between Noh’s lips. He grinned as Noh’s lips did the rest of the work, thinking it wasn’t so bad playing nurse.

“Do you really have to do that,” Nate said from where he cracked open a soda. “It might do his muscles good to feed himself.”

Tommy broke a cracker in half and placed it directly on Noh’s tongue. “No,” he said. “Noh’s barely recovering right now. He can do that stuff tomorrow. Right now he needs a lot of TLC, you know.”

“I’m not wiping his ass or giving him a sponge bath.”

“I’ll help you take a bath later tonight, okay?” Tommy said, jumping over Nate’s statement.

Oh, it was working alright. Noh-Varr would have been capable of feeding himself, but where was the fun in that? If Tommy wasn’t going to outright reject Nate’s advances, Noh would show the guy where Tommy’s priorities lay. With him, as they should. He’d more than earned himself a share of Tommy’s heart.

“Will you take it with me? You know, like we used to?”  
His glance to Nate was subtle, but he revelled in the jealousy in the guy’s eyes.

Tommy convinced Noh to take two more crackers easily. “Yeah,” he answered, “if it will help you feel better, sure. I could use a second bath anyway.”

From his isolated spot miles away, Nate rose up to Noh’s words. “You guys took baths together?”

Tommy peered around Noh at him, shrugging. “When I felt bad. He helped me out like that. It’s not weird. Just a fucking bath.”

“Yeah I helped out...you know, made sure he didn’t drown or swallow shampoo,” Noh shifted to peer at Nate and there was the tiniest hint of a smile lurking on his lips as he chewed through the last cracker Tommy had fed him. His gaze promised Nate there was much more to the story.

“Slept in a bed together too, it’s nice to hold someone and share body heat, you know?”

Tommy grunted and reached over for the sports drink. He paid no mind to what Noh said, occupied with what sustenance followed the next. Nate however paid enough mind for two people as his and Noh’s eyes met.

A challenge swelled between them, one that Nate could not settle under the current circumstances.

“Sounds like you were close.”

“We are,” Tommy said, shrugging a shoulder and handing Noh the drink. “We’ve got each other’s backs.”

“Sounds like more than backs.”

At that, Tommy whipped his head at Nate, eyes narrowed. “You’re not my master, Nate. Noh’s in need of care, and I’m going to do just that. And what I do with whom isn’t anyone’s business.”

“It is if I’m your boyfriend.”

Red streaked over Tommy’s cheeks and nose. “I’m not at a place for...that kind of thing, Nate. Sorry, okay? I didn’t want to say it now with Noh like this, but I have to straighten things out in my life before I...you know, decide if I’m ready to try something stupid like a commitment.”

Though the words rang hard, Tommy’s free hand snuck into Noh’s, as if assuring him to drink as much as he could. Nate saw it as a proclamation that Noh was very much a contender to that commitment thing.   
Noh-Varr made a show of drinking slowly, indulging himself in holding tight to Tommy’s hand in plain view of Nate’s gaze. This was right, that guy should learn that he came a sloppy second to Noh in terms of Tommy. If anyone was getting a shot at calling themselves Tommy’s boyfriend, it would be him. Suck on that mister nice guy.

He finished the drink and sank against Tommy’s shoulder, giving a content little grunt.

“I think I’m okay...you can go home, Richards.”

Nate bristled and bit down on his tongue. Of course Tommy, revolving around Noh and all things related to him, passed over those signs of annoyance. In fact, Tommy adjusted so Noh rested more comfortably on his chest, his fingers massaging his neck.

“Yeah, sorry, Nate. You can head home if you want. You did a lot. I’ll call you if anything comes up.”

And like a fool Nate knew he’d respond to the call, for Tommy’s sake more than Noh.

“Yeah. Fine.” He stood up, grabbing his drink. “I’ll check in a couple of hours. What about your mom?”

“I got it. Thanks.”

Tommy nodded at Nate his thanks, unaware of the duel setting up right before his eyes between the two. Instead, he let his fingers stroke over Noh’s arms, along his back, through his hair as Nate took his leave.

“You feeling any better?” Tommy asked.

Noh leaned into the touch, head nestled to Tommy’s chest as the satisfaction of victory coursed through his veins, gave him new energy his body sorely needed. He draped one arm over Tommy’s lap, inching his head higher so he could breathe in Tommy’s scent from his neck, pressing his lips there in a silent show of gratitude. And, more subtly, possession.

“I am. You’re really good at this nursing thing, you know...though I’m pretty sure Nate is going green right now. He’s really into you.”

Tommy groaned, but took a delight in Noh’s mouth against his neck. A little shiver almost rushed through him. He restrained himself. Now was the oddest times to feel sensitized to Noh’s touches.

“I don’t have time to deal with that. He’s acting like he’s courting me. Whatever. I mean, he’s...nice. I like him. He’s proven to be not a tool, but...I don’t know. I can’t think about that,” he said, fingers stroking over Noh’s hand where it rested on his waist. “That stuff can be sorted out later. Right now, I want you to get better, I want to survive my mom coming home, and I need to deal with school. I don’t know how I’ve managed so far but we only got two months or so until summer break. Or three. Fuck, I forget.”

Oh yeah, they had lives to tend to outside one another. Noh had disregarded most of everything in favour of obsessing over Tommy, and he didn’t doubt his grade curve showed for it. Whatever. He’d fix it easily, a few extra assignments to grease the wheels, and summer was around the corner. Summer...now there was a prospect. Graduation lay between him and the months of freedom, not to mention his birthday.

“I can help you with anything school-related...I am pretty fucking smart after all,” he stayed at Tommy’s neck, lips touching skin every time he spoke, “Can’t do much about the mompocalypse, but you know...I can help you with other stuff. We should do something over summer, just the two of us...I’ll be eighteen by then...you wanna do a little precursory roadtrip? You know, see if we can stand each other over long periods of time?”

Tommy almost flinched from Noh’s mouth, the tickling sensation striking down to his core. Once, he even sighed a little too contently, fingers tightening on Noh’s hand.

“Yeah, I’m bombing biology. I could use help there. Least the play is giving me extra credit, and I think...well, we’ll wait for my mom. I think it might be okay.” He shifted, maybe a little to let Noh’s lips trail a little lower. “Um...you could come see the play if you want. I can give you a ticket. But yeah, for summer, I...god, I can’t stick around here. If things go okay with my mom, maybe we can convince her to let me go on a mini trip, you know?”

“Mhm,” Noh’s lips took the invitation readily, moving from just pressing to light kisses, to a little stronger presses over Tommy’s collarbone. God, he wished he wasn’t feeling so tired, wished his body could handle the warmth surging through him at being allowed so close to Tommy. He’d missed this, more than words could express.

“I’ll come see you...do you want flowers? Are you gonna turn into a diva?” he chuckled, arm tightening a little around Tommy. Now that they were alone, everything begun spinning around how close he could be to the boy.

Tommy chuckled, then shuddered at the kisses. He didn’t once think that this wasn’t how platonic friends hung out or took care of one another. It felt right, and that let him bathe in the affection.

“I might be a diva, and I prefer chocolates to flowers,” Tommy said. “Though I kind of am a sucker for sunflowers, don’t laugh. I might kill you if you tell anyone either.”

He laughed softly, leaning over so he melted into Noh’s grip around him. He pressed a kiss to Noh’s forehead, then head, and on his next sigh, it came out as the boy’s name.

Noh-Varr didn’t hesitate for an instant as Tommy allowed his lips in such close proximity and as soon as he heard his name, breathed in a manner that promised all sorts of things beyond holding hands and hugging, he pressed his lips to Tommy’s, kissing him without much pressure, but with insistence. He wished Nate could see this, and would realize how wrong it was to come between them. Tommy belonged with him, Noh was certain of that. Because as bad as they could be for one another, they could also be great. They fit together, not like puzzle pieces, but broken shards, fractured to make one beautiful shape by pure coincidence.

Of course Tommy molded his mouth against Noh’s, as if they had been a couple for ages, not a pair of friends looking out for one another. A softer sigh left him, fingers now treading through Noh’s hair once more, angling his head for a deeper kiss as his mouth opened to allow Noh further access. 

His bum hand lowered, managing to find Noh’s and rest it on his outer thigh. As he did so, Tommy tilted his head from the kiss with a grunt. “Shouldn’t do that to a sick man, huh?” he chuckled through his nose.

He leaned away slightly, smiling at Noh.

“Noh,” he said, his smile wilting, “we...that is--”

“Tommy?”

Tommy sat up instantly, cursing as he knocked Noh off him. “Shit, sorry, are you okay?”

Noh-Varr had noticed the way Tommy’s smile faded, right as he was about to speak and he was almost grateful for the high pitched voice of the boy’s mother calling his name. He gathered himself under the blankets, looking towards the door and the disaster waiting beyond.

“Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry,” he swallowed, severely hoping Tommy’s mom wouldn’t tear into her son, “just go, I’ll keep quiet. And if anything happens...call me, okay? I can always throw up on your mom, that should slow her down.”

Tommy’s smile returned for a moment at his words. Gripping Noh’s hand he said, “Don’t worry.”

Louder, he called, “Mom. I’m here.”

This was it. He braced himself, steeled himself, prepared in all forms he could as his mother’s heels clicked closer. A pause, then the door creaked open, a woman that wasn’t Tommy’s mom stepping in. She had the same lines, more maybe, and slumped shoulders. Recognition bloomed in her eyes though, where a haze had always been.

“Tommy,” she said, still with a hospital wrist bracelet looped around her wrist. “Oh.”

“Noh’s really sick, mom,” Tommy said, taking her in. “He...his mom...she tried to drug him. She could have killed him.”

He hadn’t said a thing more and his mom crumbled into her palms, sobbing.

“Tommy,” she cried between her fingers, “I’m...I never wanted to admit how--”

“Wait, wait,” Tommy said, peeling off Noh and taking her by her elbows. “Come on. Let’s...let’s go outside, okay?” She kept sniffling but he managed to handle her out of his room, a glance at Noh promising he’d return soon.

They went outside, and they did talk. A lot. She talked more, half-sobbing and half-clinging to Tommy as if she realized she had found her lost son of sixteen years.

He lost track of time, and when he recognized two hours had passed when she settled down, he all but burst into Noh’s room. Well, his room.

“Noh, are you okay?” he asked, hurrying over and pawing at his friend. “Jesus, I was gone so long, I’m sorry....”

He’d tried listening to the conversation, but didn’t pick up more than a few sobs from Tommy’s mom and hushed, soothing noises. He guessed it was going well, since there was no screeching or outrage or at the very worst, skin slapping skin. His worry crumbled and again, exhaustion took his mind. Noh all but dozed off, waiting for Tommy to return, now that the final piece of their stress had dissolved into tears.

He woke with a grunt and hands all over him.

“M’fine...I’m fine, hey, Tommy,” he looked his friend over, but found no red marks or bruises, at least, no fresh ones. “How did it go?”

Tommy exhaled, his anxiety going with it. 

“It was,” he searched for the words, “better than I planned. She’s starting to see someone, a therapist. She...I think she felt really bad about what happened. She said talking to the cops after she had calm down at the hospital, she broke down and knew what a shit mother she had been.”

Tommy’s lips twitched. “We’re not okay. I mean, we’re not going to be bonding really. I think we are more like...two adults that agreed to tolerate each other. She won’t kick me out or you, but expects me to work to earn money. When I’m eighteen, she wants me out, but wouldn’t kick me out if I didn’t have a place. So...”

He supposed things couldn’t get better with his mom in that way. “Just rest, Noh. You can rest knowing you can stay here. I will take care of you all day, I promise.’

“That sounds pretty awesome, all things considering,” the thought that Tommy might actually want his mother to be his mom was foreign to Noh, two adults tolerating each other sounded like the perfect family circumstance to him. 

*

All in all, things had become surprisingly okay since the chaos of their lives rose to its pinnacle in the form of getting Kyle out of the picture. Noh had fully recovered and even returned home, where he lived in mute agreement with his adoptive father that they did not need to bond and lived as two separate people, sharing a house and nothing much more. Jordan didn’t deal with Noh and in turn, Noh had all the freedom without any repercussions.

Back at school, he’d dedicated some time to ensure he’d graduate with good grades and spent the rest of the time in Tommy’s company. It was bliss, being allowed to officially be friends and close to each other again. The restraining order had been lifted, Tommy didn’t think about using anymore and had, with Noh’s help, even straightened out his biology grade. It was almost stupid how relieving it was to be able to enjoy each other’s company on a daily basis and their friendship only deepened every moment.

Right now, Noh was lounging in some seats, watching the stage where the play was being rehearsed and slowly devouring a pack of chocolate raisins. His birthday was in just a couple of days and though he didn’t make a mention of it, he knew his best friend was up to something.

Tommy didn’t know mundane could work for him. Granted, with enough time it would warrant a need for adventure. Until then, he rather enjoyed taking the role of a king, fairy or not, and spouting orders, having characters cringe under his might.

The outfit he could do without, all robes and making him feel too feminine. He rolled with it, and didn’t mind the playful nature his actors got around him, especially Nate. They were there own kind of clique, an eclectic mixture that suited Tommy well.

As rehearsal came to a halt, Tommy laughed at something Nate said, shoving him in the shoulder and saying something back. 

“Hey, hold up,” he said, hopping off the stage, robes and all. He waved at Noh with his legs propped up on the seats in front of him. “Hey, enjoyed the free show?”

He flashed his ear. “What do you think of my long ears? Cool, huh? I don’t even feel them anymore.”

Noh didn’t really watch the play, though he had read through Tommy’s script over his shoulder on one of their numerous shared afternoons. He spent the rehearsals watching his best friend closely, marveling at how easily Tommy fit into the eccentric little group of actors and how he grew into his role with the same ease. Not to mention, he kind of looked adorable in that outfit, especially when he came over to him like an over-dressed, eager puppy.

“You look like a fairy Spockmother, you know,” he grinned, tugging Tommy closer and to sort of collapse to his lap. They still tread the line of platonic and more with little regard and their touches were no secret to the world.

“I like it though, suits you to be king.”

Tommy did drape himself on Noh’s lap, laughing as if he’d gone on a long run. “You think so?” he asked, grinning as he let Noh’s weight handle each of his shifting positions. “I think I could be a great king. Bossing people around, having beautiful women feed me grapes.”

His eyes danced over Noh, taking him in. After weeks of getting back to shape, Noh looked the picture of perfect health. It did all sorts of good things for Tommy to bear witness to it.

“I got to change and then do something for a bit. Want to meet up at your place around...six? I’ll bring some horror movies I’ve been wanting to see and you supply the food?”

“What? You guys don’t go out to the movies like a regular couple?” an olive-skinned girl teased as she flounced by--Tommy’s wife in the play.

“You kidding me?” Tommy said. “Why spend a day at the movies when you can bring all the homemade food you want to a room in a comfy bed and watch anything you want, with all the bathroom breaks you want?”

Noh gave the girl a hesitant smile. The more time he spent at the rehearsals, the more he was gradually learning to be a little less indifferent to people. And these were all pretty nice kids, weird, but friendly. They didn’t need to be scared away every moment of the day and Noh was even starting to remember their names and greeting them with a nod in the hallways. His arms tightened a little around Tommy’s waist. He certainly wouldn’t mind being an official couple with Tommy. The teasing was all around, and he didn’t mind it one bit. 

Still, they’d never discussed it.

“Plus, no one to kick the back of your chair or throw unpopped corn at your head. Aaaand if we get distracted we can always pause the movie.”

“Yeah, I can think of a couple of distractions you’d two would get,” she said, raising a brow with a knowing smirk. With a dramatic wave, she left them in her dust.

Tommy rolled his eyes and sank deeper into Noh’s grip. “Man, I couldn’t imagine having her as a real wife, but she sure plays the bitch of Oberon’s pretty well,” he laughed. He gave a pat to Noh’s chest, unaware of Nate sending daggers at Noh’s face with his stare alone. “Alright, so six is okay? I can stay the night if you want and it’s Friday so all the cool people are out. Fuck, you know what? I’m going to bring a huge jug of ice cream from that new shop.”

He straightened in Noh’s lap and looped one arm around his neck.

“Any flavor in mind?”

“Tommy!” Nate called from the stage. “We need your costume. Unless you plan to get naked there.”

“Jesus, fine, fine.” Tommy squirmed, squeezing the side of Noh’s neck lightly. “Guess that means I’m off.” He smirked, and stole a couple of chocolate raisins still tucked by Noh’s hip. He popped one in and offered Noh the other. “Just text me what you want and I’ll have it over by six.” 

“It’ll be a well-thought out choice of the most awkward flavour you could possibly ask for,” Noh chuckled, pressing a secret and very quick kiss to Tommy’s fingers as they deposited the raisin in his mouth. He liked their public displays of affection, they only served to kindle his assumption that Tommy was indeed his boyfriend. He just didn’t want to talk about it much and it was fine with Noh-Varr. Their evenings cuddled together were more than enough fuel for his heart to burn brightly in Tommy’s name.

“Don’t be late, I’ll be waiting.”

He gathered his jacket from the seat and caught Tommy in a very tight hug before leaving the theatre.

Tommy watched him go, stomach tickling and butterflies crawling up into his throat. They hadn’t spoken at all about their...status. In all honesty, Tommy couldn’t burden himself with the task of being anyone’s boyfriend. Being a boyfriend meant sacrifices and learning and so much more than his mind had the space for. 

At least back then.


	12. Chapter 12

Weeks of dancing around Nate’s advances and Noh’s affection made for a dizzy Tommy. Not to mention his mom was stabilizing herself and Tommy started working a part-time job at a car body shop. It didn’t demand too much of his time thankfully, but it still meant he had more on his shoulders.

Still, having money meant a lot. Early before school he started running again, his thoughts untangling with each step. Little by little, as days turned to those weeks, he realized how hard Nate and Noh fought over him.

He had to think about that for a while now as he mounted the stage and watched Nate pass him.

Nate kept going after waving to his actors, wanting to glue to Tommy’s hip. Instead he went after Noh and caught up with him in the parking lot.

“Hey,” he called. Since all their drama he had learned to respect the taller boy, though that didn’t stop their competition. As if Noh still was a player. “Listen. I figured we, ah...you know, summer’s coming up. I wanted to talk to you. About Tommy. Got time?”

Noh blinked as he heard Nate’s voice. Why would his ‘competitor’ for Tommy’s affection of all people chase after him. True to bad boy form, a status he’d worked hard to re-establish in everyone’s mind since his breakdown preceeding his confession to Tommy, he lit up the smoke he’d been rolling between his fingers. Noh blew out smoke lazily as he looked Nate up and down. He had at least a head on him, and since he was back to his workout plan, his muscles stretched to form beneath his clothes.

“Yeah, sure. You know he’s going on a trip with me for summer, don’t you?” better to get everything rolled out into the open, defeat his enemy before he had a chance to strike.

Nate narrowed an eye, then rolled both of them. 

“You know I do. He talks about it all the damn time.” Nate crossed his arms, legs at a wider stance. “Look, let’s get this out in the open. We both like him. We both want to date him, be his boyfriend. You might think you’re winning, but I don’t see him acknowledging you two are a thing either, so clearly he needs a little coaxing. But one of us needs to back it off.”

He raised a hand as a sign of peace. “I don’t mean to say to beat the crap out of the other to win his hand, but we gotta work something out. Don’t you agree? Or are you fine dancing around not being an official couple?”

Noh-Varr didn’t answer him right away. Nate was being pitiful, to say the least. He didn’t hold the same affection from Tommy, not even a candle to the torch the boy carried for Noh. So it was safe to say he felt secured in his position.

“Why bother fighting? I don’t see him coming over to your place and spending all weekend. Or share your bed, your bathtub...Or am I just missing all the times you guys kiss?” Oh, fine, he was going to be a smug asshole, so a smirk stretched his lips.

“Seriously, Richards, you’re way out of your league. Just because Tommy doesn’t go around with a ring on his finger doesn’t mean he’s not with me. We just don’t need to say it every two seconds, actions speak louder than words you know?”

Nate laughed at that, some of his bitterness lacing it. “Are you that full of yourself?” he asked, shaking his head. “Trust me. You give me one week and I can get him to do just as much, but he’s attached to you because of your common ground. Don’t think that means you’re worthy of being his boyfriend. Tommy lets me touch him, small things, as I don’t disrespect what we have as a friendship. But even you have to see how he lets me do it more now, and he’ll learn that I’m stable. I’m boyfriend material, really.”

He shrugged, because it was the truth. Plenty of girls, and a couple of guys, wanted to take him to their parents.

“Also, I guarantee if you tried to put a ring on him he’d freak. Tommy’s not ready yet for a relationship, Noh-Varr. Even you should know that. He’s scared of them, and tomorrow at dinner, which I’m taking him to, I plan to tell him about it. I want him to think hard on it as he gets ready for it.”

“You’re taking him to dinner?” Noh continued to puff out smoke, though it was less lazy than it had been moments before. Nate was serious, and persistent. He didn’t want Tommy to carry on as he had, reasonably happy even if he hadn’t resolved the issue at hand. And in Noh’s eyes, he didn’t have to. He could pretend they were friends, with some very exclusive benefits, and that would grow into a relationship they’d share for years to come. 

But Nate was interloping, and that could throw Tommy for a loop.

“Seriously? Man, when are you gonna get the message? You’re not gonna get between us, and especially not as his boyfriend. He’s spending the night at my house. I’ll get you your official fucking statement when he cancels dinner with you.”

Nate had to smirk, knowing his finger was prying the wound right where it was at its rawest. “I’d love to see you try,” he said. “But face it. Tommy sees something in me too. With enough time, some coaxing, he’ll see I’m best suited for him.”

He threw out the big guns with a smile. “I guess now’s the time to add he accepted coming to my parent’s time-share a few hours away at the beach. It’s a lovely beach home, lots of consoles, great jet skis, all things Tommy would love. Don’t worry, it’s the last two weeks of summer, so you can try to work your magic on him before it, but when it comes down to it, I’ll have the final say.”

“Yeah right,” Noh didn’t show the fact that Tommy spending time away from him, with Nate, made him nervous. Not that he was worried about Tommy’s affection for him, but a holiday away from home had certain connotations and he didn’t like any of them in relation to Nate.

“You can go ahead and keep dreaming, Nate. Tommy is mine, he’s my best friend and my boyfriend, and deep down, he knows it. You’ll fucking see.”

Nate quirked a brow. “Huh. Alright.” 

With a few strides he closed the distance and offered his hand, arm tense. “At the end of the summer, whoever Tommy shows even the slightest more affection toward, the other person backs off swooning him. I’ll even throw in a hundred bucks if I have to.”

Confidence swelled in every fiber of Nate as he tilted his head and said, “Got a deal?”

Tommy would be absolutely furious if he found out about this, Noh knew that the second Nate extended his arm. He looked at his hand, hated the thought of those fingers touching Tommy, but he shook it anyway.

“He’s gonna be with me, and you’re gonna stop trying to court him. I love him.” He said so without the slightest hitch, as if it was his life mantra now.

“Not as much as I do,” Nate said, squeezing the hand tighter than necessary.

It was so on.

*

Tommy stretched his free arm as he came through the front door of Noh’s place, offering Jordan a nod of thanks for opening the door. The guy seemed cool, even polite when he saw Tommy around. Maybe he was grateful someone kept Noh-Varr occupied and out of his hair.

“Noh,” Tommy sang, toeing his way through Noh’s doorway. “Sorry I’m late. I got mint chocolate, green tea, and rocky road ice cream flavors though.”

He held up his bag with a grin, dumping his backpack and grocery bags. “So, I take it you’re not doing anything for your birthday tomorrow, hm?”

He’d been lazing, plotting, thinking too hard on Nate’s words. The guy was deadly serious about winning Tommy’s affections and if Noh didn’t move, he might even succeed. Until the moment Tommy had walked through the door, he’d been working out, putting that boxing bag Jordan got him to good use. Of course, he didn’t want to get his clothes sweaty so he’d chosen to only wear light muscle shirt that stretched over his chest in all the right ways.

“Hey!” he turned, grin on his face as he viewed the tasty treat and also the ice cream. The room was already set up, the wide screen TV on a random channel for background noise. Noh picked up his towel and slung it around his shoulders.

“My birthday? I didn’t really...I mean, I don’t really ever do anything for it...It’s a saturday, I might go on a food binge, then hit a bar, you know, stuff.”

Tommy might have blinked hard to will himself to stop staring at Noh’s body. The guy was ripped, what could he not do? Anyone would stare, especially the guy who had the luxury of touching those bumps of strength.

“Really? Man, I always have to do something crazy on mine,” Tommy said, dropping the subject there. He scanned the room, and began setting up the side tables with their treats. “So, I got Insidious. I heard it was a great movie for a modern horror. We’re watching that first.”

He hopped into Noh’s bed, one jug of ice cream between his legs and top open. He paused in mid spoon-dive to wrinkle his nose. “Do you need to shower first?”

“I don’t stink, I’ve only been at this half an hour,” Noh chuckled, stripping off the shirt in favour of a more comfortable tee as he shuffled onto the bed and squished himself to Tommy’s side comfortably after putting the DVD into the player. He planned on getting much closer to Tommy as the night progressed, they had all the time in the world to lavish each other with affectionate touches. 

Noh leaned over and stole the spoonful, making a point of arching his body over Tommy in order to get to the utensil filled with delicious ice-cream. Oh yes, Tommy was going to get a real nice taste of what he already had right in front of his eyes tonight.

Settled in, the movie playing, the night promised to drag on with good tidings. Early on, Tommy jolted a few times at classic horror tact, laughing it off and leaning against Noh further each time. Often times one of his legs tangled with Noh’s, or he leaned over to snatch a snack or drink from the table. 

Warmth wafted over each of them, mingling and softening any tension Tommy might have had at the beginning. Lately, as he mulled over his relationship status, he became more aware of when they touched.

What was wrong with a friend with perks though? That didn’t mean they were...together?

Tommy grunted around a spoonful of ice cream, not bothering to run in circles on the matter tonight.

“Sooo,” he said, as the movie droned on, “I might have gotten you a birthday present.”

He smiled at Noh, waving the spoon at him.

He was utterly comfortable, legs entanged with Tommy’s, the younger resting pretty much against him in the perfect picture of adolescent, domestic bliss. This was so much more than friendship, and anyone who saw this would come to the same conclusion. He and Tommy were an item, a slow-moving, comfortable item that shared touches and kisses and movie nights at each other’s houses.

“A birthday present? Tommy...I’m not gonna say you shouldn’t have, because, you know, I like presents, but you shouldn’t have,” especially since Noh swam in money in comparison to Tommy’s poor wealth and need for a part time job.

“You could have just given me a birthday kiss and I’d be happy,” he smiled again, bumping his head against Tommy’s shoulder, fingers drifting over his alleged boyfriend’s stomach.

Tommy’s good mood soured at the mentioning of a kiss. To think such a simple gesture he had bestowed plenty of times on Noh-Varr could suffice as an eighteenth birthday. With a rock settling in his stomach, Tommy leaned back, hand clasping over Noh’s.

“No,” he said, “it’s your eighteenth birthday, Noh. I wanted to get you something meaningful.”

Damn, Noh’s hand on his stomach was getting him too warm. Ever since Tommy went with the idea he liked guys as much as girls, it aggravated Noh’s presence when they were alone.

“I...could give you that too, but, Noh...you know we’re...I’m still thinking a lot about what it means to be in a real relationship, you know?”

That certainly lifted Noh’s attention from the lazy triumph he’d felt as soon as he settled into this position. Tommy’s hand was clenching his own, stopping any soothing motion and simply clamping down on him. What was Tommy trying to say? That he needed more time? He didn’t have to worry about it, not at all, Noh knew things were still a mess in Tommy’s head and heart and he was more than willing to lay in wait right outside the door.

“I know...I know. We’re not rushing, it’s cool, okay?” he bumped his head against Tommy’s shoulder again, trying to show him that he really had no worry that they’d grow together like a real couple soon enough. 

“I’m not pushing you to anything, but I’m here, you know that. I got you. It’s fine.”

Tommy relaxed, grateful for the lack of pressure, though Noh’s statement illuminated how little he understood the situation to be. Unable to keep from smiling at how adorable such a big guy could be, Tommy eased his hand onto Noh’s arm, stroking lightly.

“You know I care a lot about you, and I feel stupid saying it aloud, but...it’s okay with you. Saying that.” He hesitated, treading deep water before he angled Noh’s head up. 

When he thought Noh was going in for a kiss, Tommy couldn’t help a grin and clamp his hand over Noh’s.

“Excuse me, but is it midnight yet? You got a full hour, birthday boy.” He shoved Noh’s face. “You know. My mom, before she got all weird in the head, had this tradition to kiss me as many times as how old I turned. So I got five kisses on my fifth birthday.”

“Does that mean eighteen kisses, because I’ll totally wait an hour for that,” Noh was all smiles and relaxed, the atmosphere couldn’t be more perfect. Or well, maybe it could be, if Tommy proclaimed himself to be his official boyfriend at midnight too, preferably right before fulfilling that kissing demand. 

Tommy fit so nicely against him, Noh couldn’t help shifting them slightly so more of his body pressed up against Tommy’s side, most notably his hips and everything beneath them.

“This might be my favourite birthday ever.”

Tommy had to say it certainly wasn’t a crappy birthday in his eyes. Sometimes a night in did more for the plague-ridden soul than a wild night cavorting on the streets, dodging bullets and traffic. Sighing, he leaned back against Noh and hummed his agreement.

“I’m glad. It’ll just get better from now on, you know? Your mom’s gone. Kyle is...”

Biting his lip, Tommy forced back less than pleasant images. “They say he’s working out a deal. If so, that means we don’t have to go to trial. I don’t want to testify but I will if I have to. So, either way, I think he’s as good as gone, but I’m moving the fuck out of here when I’m eighteen. And before that, we got a road trip.”

He preened at the very thought. “Man, it’s going to be awesome. I’m excited. We should totally hit a few bars, maybe hit some national landmarks, yeah?”

He shifted as he spoke, so his body faced Noh more full on. The movie dragged on, less enticing as what Noh had to offer, and if Tommy’s fingers ghosted over his hips, up his sides, what of it?

The movie was probably interesting in every way a splatter gore flick should be, but Noh was preoccupied with the fingers on his hips and sides, dying for them to go beyond his clothing.

He propped himself on his elbow, allowing his eyes to drift over Tommy and lock onto his gaze, peppering in every permission Tommy could ever need to just keep going right this way, because it was perfectly okay with Noh.

“We can go anywhere we want. I know it’s cliche, but Las Vegas, definitely a must. My life’s not complete until I see a show there, get illegally drunk on drinks bought for me by showgirls and waking up knowing I’ve lived through the stupidest night of my life. With you.”

Tommy lost his capability to breathe properly, his chest heaving more with effort than he would give credit for. Noh loomed a bit over him now, and Tommy planted his palm over Noh’s chest, then trailed lower, slipping under his shirt to feel familiar skin.

“Yeah,” he breathed, his laugh now a soft chuckle. “Las Vegas. I hear they got crazy awesome clubs. I know a guy that can hook us up with IDs too.”

He was saying stuff, hardly listening to it though. A shudder came over him when he squeezed Noh’s hip.

Even though they had a good forty-five minutes until midnight, Tommy was pulling Noh to meet him for a kiss and saying, “Happy Birthday.”

Noh breathed a thank you to Tommy’s lips, but there was no more time to talk idly. He wanted him, so badly he might drown if he didn’t get to taste Tommy’s mouth right this instant. This kiss wasn’t going to be short or light. Noh’s hand found Tommy’s nape and he pulled him into a better angle, body half draped over the boy now as he felt hands on his hips, on his abdomen and revelled in every goosebump Tommy’s touch created there. The slim body of his friend fit perfectly and it was time to deepen whatever their benefits had morphed into, he was sure of it.

And honestly, he couldn’t think of a better present. Tommy opened his mouth and gave permission and Noh’s hand went wandering beneath his shirt, gripping a side and then finding a heavenly hipbone, the sharp jut doing all sorts of things to Noh’s stomach as he traced over it, fingertips circling and brushing.

A perk to admitting he had a thing for guys--Noh, specifically--meant Tommy could linger on parts of the male body he shunned before. He opened his mouth wider for a lazy kiss, but with Noh, as with most guys he figured, it still retained some force to it. Kissing girls was nice, but often lacked an oomph Tommy liked in his kisses.

Similarly, he could drag his hands over Noh’s body without worrying if he was being gentle enough. He let his nails trace down a strong back, groaning at how wide it felt again beneath his fingertips. At the touches on his hips, he leaned into them.

“Noh,” he said against his mouth. He lowered his head so he could study those bright eyes, let the gaze do funny things to his head and heart.

This was okay. It was fine to find solace in another’s body, a friend’s body.

Seizing that thought, new ones were able to trickle in. One in particular had Tommy reach for the ice cream, scoop up a strip against his finger and drag it over Noh’s unsuspecting neck. Then he leaned up for it, mouth sucking hungrily at the chocolatey flavor mixed with Noh’s skin.

If this wasn’t confirmation that they were way beyond friendship, Noh officially gave up on understand human interaction in its entirety. Tommy’s tongue against his neck robbed him of any thoughts that diverged from the gorgeous boy in his grip, the one who held his heart in his palm and barely seemed to notice. Or maybe he did, and this right now was his answer.

“God...do that again, please,” he murmured. The mixture of the cold cream and Tommy’s hot tongue was unbelievable arousing and that, he could feel pressed to the boy’s side. He didn’t care, Tommy know he was into him and he was okay with it. Evidently.

Were it not Noh-Varr’s birthday (or close to it), Tommy might have doubted that using him as a platter would serve as a good idea. Something dictating his sense had been unplugged, so Tommy nudged Noh-Varr over to comply with the request.

“On your back,” he said, opting to indulge in Noh’s back another day. After all, it wasn’t his birthday, but this taller, wider boy who made him laugh, forget the shit of the world, and let him take baths in his tub.

“Shirt off,” he ordered, stradling Noh’s lap as he did so, and smirking as he was obeyed. The king title suited him like a second skin indeed.

Once Noh had his shirt off, Tommy shoved him against the mattress, his hand busy being coated with layers of mint chocolate. He planted the first dollop on Noh’s chest, right at the center, enough for what he planned to do.

Tommy dove down, tongue lapping at the treat. In lieu of eating it right off his chest, he maneuvered the ice cream down, down, the center of Noh’s body, leaving it a bright streak of green that reached down to where his pants met his naval.

“Jesus, that’s fucking cold!” Noh laughed, watching his (definitely boy-) friend paint him with ice-cream. This was way out of line of his expectations, and he was absolutely down for it. Tommy looked great, topping, no, throning on him with the expression befitting a king astride his faithful and proud steed. Not that Noh was thinking about Tommy riding him like a horse, he wasn’t quite at that point in his fantasies and he doubted he ever would be.

Where Tommy’s tongue touched his skin, fire bloomed in his gut and Noh leaned his head back, giving a suffocated sort of moan because it felt downright amazing.

Noh-Varr had the same appeal as melted ice cream, and Tommy had hardly gotten started. With a lift of his head, Tommy laughed and licked his lips. 

“Guess you like that,” he said, tongue swirling over a green nub. He gave a suck before planting a kiss to Noh’s mouth, allowing him to taste the ice cream.

What Noh’s mouth could do to his eluded Tommy, but it did enough to have him moan and roll his backside against a very obvious sign of endearment from Noh. “Jesus, Noh,” he said, hands pawing everywhere, “You’re like a thirteen-year-old kid, you know that?”

“That’s saying a lot of things about thirteen year olds I never want to consider you thinking about,” Noh panted, hips unable to keep still beneath Tommy’s, especially once he rolled his perfect ass down against where Noh strained to feel him. A groan died on his tongue with the utmost of restraint, but Noh’s hands were on Tommy’s hips, indulging in the slightest of grinding movements, mind systematically shutting down.

“I can’t help it, you’re really fucking hot, you know that.”

Tommy liked Noh’s large hands on his hips. Why, he didn’t dare dissect. It just did. They were warm, assuring, and, admittedly, Tommy’s hips had him writhing when other parts of him took longer to produce the same effect.

When Noh complimented him, he cleared his throat, looking away.

No point in replying, far too embarrassed at the words--Tommy never saw himself as ‘hot’--he allowed their bodies to grind a little longer, relishing in how good Noh looked pushing up against him.

“I have an idea,” he said, humming against Noh’s mouth. He pulled out another languid kiss before elaborating. “Something that we can both enjoy at the same time. Think you can help take off my pants?”

He might be asleep and dreaming, because this sounded very much like one of his numerous wet dreams involving Tommy. And they truly were plenty.

“I think I can manage,” his hands left Tommy’s hips, a little regrettably, but with the promise of something enjoyable to come, they pried at pants, working over Tommy’s ass a little slowly to be efficient, but soon enough he was peeling away cloth from glorious thighs.

Tommy kicked his pants away, not bothering to shed his shirt. Something about having Noh’s hands creep up under his shirt kept it there. After bullying off Noh’s pants off as well, he raked his eyes over the sight of Noh half-naked and more than ready for whatever Tommy had in mind.

Crawling over, Tommy sank down, rolling his backside again over the same stretch of Noh that no doubt could turn the older boy into liquid.

“I was thinking,” he said around his rolling hips, lifting his hips at times to break contact altogether. Who said he couldn’t have a little fun on Noh’s birthday as well? “Maybe we could...both get something out of it at the same time.”

To drive the idea home, he palmed Noh’s shaft, stroking it quickly as it still squeezed between the delicate area of Tommy’s backside.

Definitely a scene straight out of his wet dreams. Noh was drinking in the sight of Tommy bared to him, beautiful and slightly flustered and possibly the best sight Noh would ever lay eyes on his life. Whatever he had in mind would have Noh pulsing with pleasure, he was damn sure of it.

“Both of us, huh?” he rolled his hips, biting his lip at the feeling of Tommy’s behind and hand on him, not sure if his frazzled mind was interpreting this as a call for sex, full blown, penetration sex or something else.

“I just need to...touch you, okay? Whatever you have in mind, let’s do it.”

Denying a man on his birthday such a simple request was a cruelty Tommy refused to extend today. Understanding and perhaps matching the light in Noh’s eyes, he adjusted their positions once he convinced Noh to unleash his hips. That didn’t stop them from pawing at him still, but it didn’t deter Tommy in turning the opposite way, his head over Noh’s lap, his knees on either side of the birthday boy’s head.

“Um,” he said, suddenly feeling incredibly dumb for his position. “I thought...like this, but...”

When Tommy turned, Noh was thrown for a loop, not understanding what he was going for for just two seconds, before years of porn filtered the appropriate images into his head. Oh. Oh.

Yes, he could work with this. Ignoring Tommy’s embarrassment, he raised himself slightly and pulled down on Tommy’s hips, nuzzling a firm cheek like he was possibly the happiest man to be presented with an ass in the world.

He wanted to say something stupid and funny to calm Tommy’s nerves, but his body wasn’t obeying him, his face brushing down until his lips could close on the tip of Tommy’s length, something he hadn’t done before but certainly spent a lot time studying.

Tommy’s hips had been snagged and caught before he had the wits to stop this whole mess. He couldn’t get any redder when Noh nuzzled his ass like a kid might to their favorite plushie. Then, a mouth was on him, and the cry that left him made him double over, falling onto his elbows.

What was he thinking with this idea?

Tommy doubted he could do anything with Noh’s attention on certain parts of him, but with some breathing and effort, much of it, he turned his sad state into a groan. Before him stood Noh’s neglected erection, which found its way into Tommy’s mouth, now a constant filter for moans and grunts the longer Noh’s tongue played with him.

The angle differed from that one, absurd time in the bathroom. It fit better this way, allowing optimal use of Tommy’s tongue and the expanse of his throat to drive Noh out of his mind if he could.

When Tommy’s mouth finally descended on him, Noh paused, allowed himself to feel the absolute pleasure of knowing it was the boy he actually loved, doing something hot and ridiculous like trading blowjobs on his bed when they’d been having a horror movie night with ice-cream.

Definitely the best birthday ever. He wondered how Nate’s face would look if he saw this right here. So much for that idiot’s victory plans.

“God, Tommy,” he muttered, lips barely leaving Tommy’s shaft, a part of him Noh now dedicated his hand and what he could muster of his attention to. He wouldn’t linger long though, licking his way upwards soon enough to repeat something he knew would blow Tommy’s mind.

Tommy didn’t think there was an etiquette with blowing someone while being blows, so he neglected a response. That didn’t stop shivers from sinking its teeth down the curves of his back. A hum was the best reply he could offer, part in response to Noh, part to shoo away the shivers. Removing his mouth seemed an unlikely course of action, so he sucked harder, took Noh in deeper, did things with his tongue he knew had to feel good.

Noh’s mouth popped off though, mouth sallying up somewhere else--

“Fuck!” Tommy dropped his head to Noh’s thigh, biting back another sound that would have shamed him.

Noh didn’t let the loss of Tommy’s mouth deter him, he was in his element, licking and nibbling and exploring something Tommy would probably never let his thoughts revel in. The noises he elicited were a plentiful reward and Noh took his explorations further, timing the strokes of his palm with his tongue. 

Tommy tried to get back on the horse, so to speak, and each time he prepared for it, Noh’s tongue accessed a part of him that had his head glued to his forearm, or to Noh’s thigh, or the mattress beside it. How a tongue could undo a person’s mechanics in a few strokes, Tommy wished he knew.

Whatever the magic behind it, Tommy lost to each shiver, to all cries, and soon would lose his mind.

“Fuck, Noh, fuck,” he panted, propping onto his elbows and trying to squirm his hips away. “I think I’m going to go crazy if you keep doing that...”

Noh paused only for a moment, breathing a chuckle against sensitive flesh as he took in what sight of Tommy he could around his body. He looked undone alright, a beautiful mess, and it was all his doing.

“Good. I like you crazy,” and that was all he would give Tommy, the only respite before he continued on his endeavour to turn Tommy into a pile of goo, to have him undone in his palm as his mouth went right back to that sinful flesh.

Tommy’s litany of curses might color a sailor red. He gripped the sheets with the intent to shred them so his mind remained intact. When he hardly heard the fabric stretch in protest, he groaned and scrubbed his face against the material.

Noh’s name rolled in between the curses and pants, or the sharp intakes for air. It might have been Noh’s birthday, but Tommy felt the one being pampered, or rather, the one who was on the end of surprises.

“Shit,” he hissed, “Noh, more....or, fuck...just...I can’t. My legs are going to...”

“More?” Another breath to Tommy’s flesh and Noh felt his mind dizzy with possibility. There were no words for how much he wanted to be inside of Tommy, to feel himself sink in and become one with this boy he loved so much he probably lost his mind a long time ago, in one of their many sweet kisses.

“Tommy...I want you...turn around.”

Tommy did turn around, more for the sake of his lead-for-limbs than Noh’s birthday demand. With a moan, he sank onto his back, part of his upper body rolled toward one side as if he’d gone on a twenty-mile run. He barely had the vigor to keep his knees bent and upright.

He thought to tell Noh he always had Tommy, and that Tommy felt that he had him in return. They were friends, a special brand of it, and they wouldn’t let go of one another.

That took another supply of vigor Tommy didn’t have. The bulk of his devoted itself to breathing in deeply and watching Noh.

Noh-Varr didn’t take Tommy’s movement as a denial of his request and used the momentum of a turn of his body to maneuver himself between Tommy’s thighs, planting his hands left and right of Tommy’s shoulders, looming without any kind of malice, but a deep, heavy want in his eyes. He leaned down to kiss the boy, fully intent on letting his birthday be rung in with the glory and triumph of having sex with his love. This was the best kind of present ever given to him, and he wanted to wrap Tommy up in love and care and devotion for doing so. 

Tommy swam in the look, found himself smiling. For all the intimidation packed into his persona, Noh had an incredibly lovely side to him. Others should see it, and yet Tommy liked feeling special that only he had access to it. No one had ever looked at him like he was special before.

“I think it’s officially midnight,” he said, fingers tracing Noh’s chin, jaw, lips. This was okay. Noh kept him safe, shooed away bad memories, and promised new ones. Maybe he was a little drunk off all the sugar and beer, but Noh settled between his thighs soothed him more than any drug had.

Mind set, Tommy took one of Noh’s hands, guided it over his chest, down his hips, thigh, and finally tucking into the area Noh had been admiring.

For a moment, he thought Tommy would use the timing of this encounter to stop it in its tracks, to insist Noh had had more than enough of a present already, but he didn’t. To Noh’s great pleasured surprise, he continued on exactly the right path. Noh-Varr took matters into his own hand after Tommy had guided him down there, literally speaking, as he inched a finger into Tommy. The only thing they had was ice-cream, and its sticky, cold touch wasn’t exactly the best thing for this, so Noh tried to inch his hand towards his bedside table, where he kept things he used plenty of times with Tommy in mind.

However, with one hand, it was a challenge to find the tube and impossible to open, so he nudged it against Tommy’s free hand, hoping for some assistance as he busied his finger inside of his love and his mouth at the boy’s neck.

Tommy’s exhale melted into a sweet sigh. Pressure inside him coupled with the mouth on his neck provided a cocktail of sensations he’d never experienced. A little bite of anxiety had him whimper when the finger inched in deeper, and it took more time than necessary to wrestle with the lube.

When the cap popped off, the severity of what they were doing sank into Tommy’s stubbornness. His heart skipped a beat, and as he pressed the tube into Noh’s free hand, he met his gaze.

“I’ve never...done this before.”

Noh waited it out, making sure to meet Tommy’s gaze with absolute reassurance. There was no way he was going to rush or make this any kind of uncomfortable for the boy he loved.

“It’s okay...not gonna do anything that hurts, just trust me okay?”

Tommy found assurance in Noh's eyes, and something else he had eluded all of this time. It must have been love; no one has ever looked at him as if he were the most vital thing in the universe.

Calming his heart with deep breaths, Tommy hooked one leg over Noh's bicep. His skin flushed pink at what a view Noh had of him, let alone that one finger remained lodged inside. 

"I trust you."

“Good. That’s the way it should be,” Noh gave a little nod as he continued, he’d managed to migrate the lube to the right hand and the second finger brought blessed slickness with it as it joined the first inside of Tommy, working him open delicately, though Noh-Varr wasn’t terribly well-versed in all of this either. The few times he’d had full on sex with a guy, the dude had been prepared and ready to go, with Noh having done nothing for his pleasure.

This way, he earned their looming unity and he felt better for it.

With Tommy spread so obscenely for him, he found it quite easy to take joy in his task.

“Not gonna do a damn thing you don’t want, so just tell me when you think...you know.”

Tommy let his head fall back, releasing tension in the neck as he felt, and heard, Noh working him open. His heart beat a little harder, with anticipation Tommy liked to think because he felt as anxious as he felt ready for Noh-Varr and him to have full-blown sex. 

Not just sex, a piece of him thought. The way Noh-Varr touched him and took an eternity with his fingers told Tommy this wasn’t some quick fuck between friends, as fuck buddies often experienced. Tenderness and love didn’t come into play the way they weaved in Noh’s actions and eyes now.

And somehow that eased Tommy’s lower back, let his thighs stop clenching as Noh worked a quicker rhythm inside, spread his fingers, and always tentatively with enough time for Tommy to tell him to stop or slow down.

At some point, Tommy heard himself panting and a soft sound leaked out of him. His eyes dropped to where he could see Noh’s hand vanishing under him, and above that, Noh’s prominent...feelings on the display.

Before he knew he blurted it out, Tommy said, “It’s not going to fit.”  
He’d been pretty focused on what his hand could do for Tommy, and the more the boy relaxed the more eager Noh was to move this along, though he still wouldn’t make any sudden moves, he was going to enjoy this first sex with Tommy for all it was worth. He wanted to make Tommy feel how much he meant to Noh, how much he would and had already given up for him. 

At the question though, he couldn’t help the breathless laugh as he glanced down to where he eagerly stood to attention.

“I’m not that big, Tommy, it’ll be okay. Might...not feel so nice at first, but trust me, it gets better. Can I...?”

Tommy would have filed a report about how big Noh-Varr truly was. Maybe the angle the taller boy had of his own length mislead him to suspect its girth lacked the intimidating factor Tommy currently got an eye-full of.

Swallowing, Tommy picked up the pieces of his nerve and analyzed it a little harder.

“You’re bigger than three fingers, Noh.” 

Despite the protest, Tommy lifted his hips enough to prop a pillow beneath them.

“Flattery’s not gonna get you out of this, Tommy,” Noh mused as he adjusted the pillow, already having worked three fingers into that beautiful backside he couldn’t wait to sink himself into. His girth was maybe a little more impressive than Tommy’s, but by no means a cause for concern.

His free hand occupied itself with slicking over the matter they were ‘discussing’, a very generous coating ensuring Noh’s peace of mind. He positioned himself, guided with his hand until just the the tip and maybe four millimeters asked for permission. Noh’s fingers withdrew and his breath was starting to come hard to him.

“Tommy...I love you,” he repeated, body tense as he was ready, so very goddamn ready.

Tommy’s eyes shut at the words, their effect as powerful as any soothing lullaby. He knew his thighs tensed at the incoming invasion, and a long breath of air allowed Noh to sink in a few more millimeters. 

“Ah, fuck.” The curse dragged on into a groan, Tommy’s hands fisting into the sheets below him, low back starting to arch.

It might have not made him feel like he was splitting open, but there was discomfort, and his body juggled between accepting Noh’s affection and squeezing him until he got the message to slide out. Tommy didn’t recognize his nails biting into Noh’s biceps and dragging down.

“Shit, shit,” he panted, not sure how something could feel so fulfilling and uncomfortable at the same time.

“Just relax,” he whispered, maybe twice, maybe twenty times, it didn’t matter. All that gravitated his mind was Tommy’s clenching, the hisses of pain and the sharp bite of his nails. All of that may do some things to the fire in Noh’s gut, but he had steadfast control over his body. He slid into Tommy slowly, inch by inch, and to him, it was glorious. The squeeze of his love all around him was incredible and if he’d been a lesser man, he would have come right there and then.

His hips rested against Tommy’s flesh and he allowed them a momentary respite, wondered if Tommy liked feeling him inside of himself, wondered if the boy would be filled with regrets that it was Noh he shared this with.

Tommy shuddered and stumbled over his exhale. “You,” a grunt, “fucking...relax,” he bit back.

The ‘what the fuck does it look like I’m doing you dumbass’ part read loud in clear in his tone. As awful as it felt, it was incredible, and how Noh managed to stay still, Tommy didn’t care to know, but took the moment to suck in as much air as he could.

He felt full, very full. Noh surrounded him, filled him, and it felt right. They were doing this, Noh was actually inside. Tommy rolled with those thoughts and opened his eyes, finding those bright ones.

“Noh,” he breathed, softening his legs around his hips. “You can...I mean...I think I’m ready.”

He ignored Tommy’s snippy tone, attributing it entirely to the fact Tommy had never done this before, had never allowed someone so close. And it humbled Noh, in an odd way, to think his love would give him the honour of sharing his first time so intimately.

“Alright,” he breathed, testing how he had to move his hips as he drew back, perhaps a trifle too slow, then pushed forward, trying very hard not to envision driving himself in with the force of a steamroller like his loins demanded.

“You feel really....really good, Tommy.”

How Noh’s words could tickle his skin and vibrate through him with such force remained a mystery, one that had Tommy fighting off shivers. Unable to avert Noh’s gaze easily, he grunted and threw a hand over his face, blocking his eyes.

“Sh...shut up,” he said, the sound falling into a cry as Noh sank deeper in. His thighs clamped a little harder, seeking that sensation again. Now that Noh wasn’t just sitting within him, forcing Tommy to pinpoint every raw nerve, his body could put pleasure before discomfort.

If Tommy got his way, Noh would be doing this silently like some kind of pleasure robot, so thankfully, he didn’t pay much attention to what Tommy’s lips were saying. His focus was on the boy’s body, how it accepted him, clenched at him, then pulled him back for more. There was a spot he was hellbent on finding, so he adjusted the angle and upped the pace of his thrusts, wondering how Tommy sounded when he came inside of him. Which he definitely planned on doing.

“I don’t think I can,” Noh let a groan roll past his lips, one that bounced off of the walls of the room and even the screams in the movie still playing couldn’t cover completely.

Tommy had little chance against what Noh’s body did to his body. Every other thrust earned the room a shout, often a curse, and other times Noh’s name. Twinges of what had to be delight dotted a direct path up to his brain, shutting down all tension on Tommy’s body. It turned him lithe, his legs falling wider for Noh his arms stretched high above his head as Noh’s pace picked up, and maybe Tommy begged his assent.

Then Noh-Varr shifted his hips, striking something Tommy had no clue lay dormant within him. It wasn’t a hard hit, yet it had Tommy’s eyes snap open, tension lining his back as it bowed and before he realized what button had been pressed he was yelling Noh’s name as his orgasm tore through him.

Noh’s reward was more than handsome and he revelled in the feeling of Tommy’s orgasm, ripping through him and rising into Noh’s body. All he managed to do was ride it out and continue his thrusts, lighter, but faster until he too relinquished into the heat of the situation, no longer holding himself back from the inevitable.

His fingers gripped Tommy’s shoulders and he crushed his mouth to the boy’s, feeding him his moans as his hips twitched and jerked and he released himself deep into Tommy.

Tommy’s cry cracked, becoming shuddering breaths. Feeling Noh thrust into his body after the orgasm overwhelmed his senses, and the kiss had sucked out all of his moans on the matter. When Noh found his release, Tommy felt it, and tore his mouth away to drag in as much air as he could to fill the bottom of his lungs.

Then, nothing but the pounding of his blood and the weight of Noh on him.

“Fuck,” Tommy panted hard, weak hands touching Noh’s sides. “I felt it.” He swallowed and rode out another wave of shivers. “The fuck...did you do?”

“I, uh?” Noh replied intelligently, taking a moment to just rest right where he was, utterly content and perhaps a little stupid from his orgasm.

“We had sex,” he muttered, and then a blissful smile crossed his face as his fingers caressed Tommy’s cheek with an affection so gentle as if he was afraid to break his love.

“Best birthday ever.”


	13. Chapter 13

Not what Tommy hoped for a reply. Given the way Noh smiled at him, still buried in him no less, he figured he could forgive it. It was Noh’s birthday afterall, which entitled him to a little leeway. 

“Happy Birthday,” he said, cupping Noh’s face once more to plant a long, soft kiss to his mouth. A little spunk trickled in the longer Tommy got to catch his breath. He felt incredibly light-headed in all the right ways. “That’s not what I got you for your birthday though...”

“It can’t be better than this,” Noh let his fingers dance over Tommy’s sides, they were going to have to get up and shower sometime soon, but he wanted to let the magic moment linger a little longer.

Nothing could be clearer as things were right now. They were a couple, they’d had sex, on his birthday nonetheless. 

“You might get an award for best boyfriend ever.”

Tommy’s smile deflated into a thin line. Breaking eye contact, he gently nudged Noh until he got the message to roll off and slip out. Of all times for the topic to be brought out, when Tommy felt himself...dribbling from between his thighs. Not the best time for proving his point.

“Noh,” he said, sitting up with a wince. He looked at a spot by Noh’s hand. “I don’t know why you keep thinking we’re...in a relationship. I’m...that kind of thing,” he sighed and scrubbed his face, “relationships are a lot of work. I’m...no good for anyone just yet, Noh. I have a lot to think about. I have a lot to sort out...and I was hoping to take this summer to do that, you know, by the time I’m back from Nate’s vacation home. But...You can’t go around saying I’m your boyfriend. That comes with responsibilities I can’t...handle. Not yet.”

The magic of the moment was ripped off in one painful wrench by Tommy’s words. Noh’s happy afterglow vanished in an instant, his face dropping into a sober expression.

“...But...I thought...” he sounded pathetic and he knew it, but he couldn’t help himself. His insides, so happy and content mere moments ago, clenched with pain and he knew he couldn’t look at Tommy’s face right now. He heaved himself off of the bed, refusing to meet Tommy’s gaze.

“I’m gonna shower.” his voice was hollow and he knew he was close to a point of breaking.

Tommy stared as Noh made for the bathroom, and he was scrambling over without conscious thought.

“No,” he said, ducking around to interrupt Noh’s progress. “Don’t be like this with me, Noh.”

Walking had been a bad idea, and pain radiated down Tommy’s toes. It couldn’t compare to what he had done to Noh if the boy’s face and posture said anything about it; and it said plenty, enough to warrant’s sharp tone to ease up.

“Noh,” he said, touching his face, hoping to coax Noh’s gaze back on him. “Don’t be like that, okay? I’m not gonna ditch you, I can promise that, but...there’s some stuff in my mind, from my past, I gotta clear up before I commit.”

He gripped Noh’s jaw a little more firmly. “It’s not fair to you if I jump into something and then ditch halfway through it. That would hurt you a lot more. But I’m not going to sugarcoat shit with you. I’m going to level with you, and fuck, I know I’m rambling, just hear me out. I...relationships freak me out, Noh, for reasons from a while back. Okay? Just give me the summer to...patch things up and, I can’t promise anything but...”

He leaned up and pecked Noh’s chin, it feeling the most natural thing to do.

“If I’m still good for it then...I,” god this should not be so awkward to say, “I...I’d go...on a proper date with you. A real one. Not...these meet ups we’ve been having.”

Noh-Varr had half a mind to say nothing and turn from Tommy to the bathroom. He didn’t want to hear all of this, it made too much sense and he had enough of sense. He knew he was crazy in love with Tommy, and nothing would please him more than to have that reciprocated. They could make it work. He could be there for Tommy to support him and maybe fix himself because he wasn’t stellar at relationships either. But Tommy didn’t want that, and he didn’t want give it a chance either.

He wanted to do this by himself. Or rather, not entirely.

“Why are you going to have dinner with Nate? And go to his summer house? You know you can tell me about the maybe future all you want, but the truth is you like him. You think he’s safe, a fallback or even your first choice. I...Tommy, you don’t understand how much you mean to me, how much I’ve changed because of you...I’m going to go crazy when you’re away with him,” he brushed some hair from his face and sighed, willing himself to calm down.

“I’m not gonna be on the backburner or play second fiddle to Nate. I thought this meant something...I thought...jesus, fuck, we had sex and I thought you were telling me that you love me, that you’re in love with me and things would work out over time. I can’t deal with this right now, Tommy, I can’t.”

Tommy inhaled and leaned into Noh’s touch. He had said that hadn’t he?

“Noh,” he said, waiting for their eyes to meet. “I think I don’t just love you. I’m...falling in love with you, and that’s...fucking terrifying. I know you don’t want to listen to this, but...Jesus, Noh. You...I feel like that too, okay? You’re not the only one, and the reason I push back is because I feel that way. Don’t you get it? We...We can’t be so...dependent on each other. I...I refuse to feel like I’ll die without you and kill myself.”

Fuck, his voice was cracking. This was uncharted territory by thousands of miles.

“Noh,” he went on, “I was really fucked up before you came along. I don’t...want to be fucked up anymore. I don’t want you to feel that way. If I want us to be together, I want it to be...right. We’ll fight, we’ll get mad, and we’ll have bad times, but I don’t want us fucking up more because we didn’t take the time to...help ourselves, not just each other.”

Noh placed both hands on Tommy’s face now, thumbs stroking away the slight wetness at the corners of the boy’s eyes. God, they were being so stupid. Why couldn’t Tommy see all the good things they did to each other? Noh had his share of being fucked up, of being important to no one. Now that he’d gotten a taste of what it meant to be...sort of with someone, he’d never let it go. He’d never let Tommy go.

“We’re never gonna be right, Tommy. No matter how much we work on ourselves, we are never gonna be alright. But I don’t care...because you’re with me. That’s all I want, fuck, I’ve been thinking of nothing but how great your eighteenth is gonna be, when we leave everything behind and just go. Is it so hard to make that happen, just a little early? I’m not gonna turn into a psycho boyfriend, I promise. I just need to know I won’t lose my chance to be with you because some damn shmuck is whisking you away to the seaside and showing you how much better than me you could do. Please...Tommy. I can..back off, okay? I can just wait for you to say its okay, but please, don’t go with Nate.”

Tommy basked in Noh’s words, melted into his palms, and would have let him cart him wherever he wanted were it not the mentioning of Nate.

“What?” he frowned, analyzing Noh’s words again in his head. “I...what are you talking about? Nate’s a friend, Noh. I know that he likes me and yeah, for a while, I pretended to be his boyfriend, but we’re friends. I’m...you think I’m going to spend a couple of weeks with him and think I’m better off getting hitched to him or something?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t even hesitate to confirm Tommy’s absurd suggestion, because clearly, it wasn’t that far from reality, not with the way Nate acted around him. Every single little touch had Noh’s blood boil with envy and he prayed for the day he could push Richards to the side and explain very loud and clearly that he was Tommy’s boyfriend, singular boyfriend and not interested in sharing. 

“He knows you...too well. He could...you could think that you’re fine and then he’s right there, and maybe you start thinking that hey, he would make a great boyfriend, stable, grounded, boring as fuck. And then you’ll come back and it’ll be all ‘hey Noh, missed you buddy, by the way I’m engaged now hope you can come to the wedding’.”

“Jesus, you are fucking ridiculous!” Tommy shoved away Noh’s hands with no hint of malice. “Glad to know you think I’m so fucking incapable of making my own decisions, Noh-Varr.”

The audacity Noh had. What he painted in Tommy’s mind was a man of obsession, jealous in every facet of Tommy’s life, even if it was as harmless as shaking someone’s hand. This wasn’t going to work if Noh had such an attitude about someone Tommy considered a friend and nothing more.

“Listen, Noh,” he said, breathing deeply to collect himself. “Don’t be absurd. I’m not going to be doing that. He’s a friend, okay? Yes, I like him. As a friend. God, Noh, can’t you...fucking see it that he doesn’t hold a candle to you? I just told you I love you, I’m falling in love with you, and you still think he’s a threat?”

Alright, maybe he had been a little extreme. He didn’t doubt Tommy’s ability to be a stubborn ass and reject Nate, he just wished he would do it right now, or rather, in front of him so he could revel in the fact he trumped Nate officially forever.

“Not a threat...just...there. But if you say he’s just a friend then I’m not gonna worry, alright?” his fingers worked his own hair and he suddenly remembered very clearly who just had sex with Tommy and who wouldn’t even get to dream of it.

“Sorry for being a psycho...?” he offered with a hesitant smile.

Tommy huffed, then peered at the tub, face going reds and pinks again.

“Maybe,” he muttered, “if you start a bath. I’m sore as fuck, thank you.”

He didn’t have plans to sleep much that night anyway.

*

Morning came as a bright streak of sun on Tommy’s face, and he bolted up with a grin. He had to spare a chuckle at Noh tangled with him, and it took a while to properly sit up.

“Hey,” he said, loudly enough, slapping lightly at Noh’s face. “Sleeping beauty, get the fuck up. I got a surprise for you. Hey, I know you can hear me. I saw your eyelid twitch.”

To entice Noh, he peeled out of the bed with exertion of further effort he had regained during a deep sleep, though it hadn’t been very long.

“I’m not waiting for you so wash up and come outside!” was all he offered before yanking on some of his sweats, deciding to leave Noh’s shirt on him (he had placed it on after the shower).

Then he was washing up as Noh either debated or refused to get out of bed, and then bounding outside.

He could have lingered in bed with Tommy for hours, so the sudden commotion and instruction was definitely ruffling him the wrong way. Damn it, it was his birthday, shouldn’t he waking to pancakes or some other ridiculously fantastic breakfast following a night of sex? Granted, he’d never gotten any kind of special breakfast for any occasion, so that hope was pretty unreasonable.

Tommy was a bolt of energy and an absolute morning nightmare for Noh’s slow moving form. He dragged himself up and searched for a shirt, deciding that pants were optional and his underwear would do as he shuffled into the bathroom, sleepily draping over the sink to splash water in his face and rinse out the morning breath.

He blinked at the bright sunlight and cursed the weather, but his displeasure was immediately forgotten when he followed Tommy’s skipping step to the garage.

And gawked. His jaw was hanging low for a moment before he snapped it shut, but he might consider taking up drooling as he stared at the gorgeous bike standing in his driveway. Sleek silver was detailed with green and white and it was absolutely stunning. A Triumph Roadster, Rocket III, a machine he’d saved as his desktop wallpaper and spent more than a few dreams with.

“...Tommy, could you maybe pinch me or something?”

Tommy grinned, vibrating with energy and excitement. He punched Noh’s arm with a laugh and dashed toward the bike, hopping around it. Strength and design held hands and got busy, making this baby, and Tommy had pulled all the strings he had at his disposal to have her alive and waiting for her new daddy.

“Well? Well? Beautiful, isn’t she?” He didn’t dare touch the bike now, merely fluffed up the bow. “All yours. And, best part, all. Paid. Off.”

Noh willed his legs forward and his hands slid over the beautiful machine, barely able to believe it was standing right here in front of him. Tommy’s words blew his mind though. This was his?! His gift? What the hell had Tommy been doing, these babies weren’t cheap, not by a long shot and for it to be paid off? 

“Did you sell your soul to satan? How the heck did you manage this?” he looked pretty ecstatic, sliding onto the seat and touching the bars with reverence.

“We are so going for a ride. Right now.”

“Don’t worry about that. It’s totally legit,” Tommy said, looping his arms around one of Noh’s.

The bike and Noh matched--no, fitted one another as well as Tommy fitted against Noh. A sleek touch plus the bulk of power reflected what most saw in Noh-Varr. Astride the machine, Noh looked fit to pose for a magazine.

“You look good on it,” Tommy admitted, pecking his cheek and hugging his arm tighter. “But I think you could use some pants first.”

Laughing, he squeezed in between the front of the bike and Noh, sitting on his lap yet facing him. “Now you are closer to getting the hell out of here,” he said, nudging his mouth to Noh’s again. “Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you, Tommy,” Noh looped his arms around the younger and pulled him against him tightly, unable to convey how much he appreciated the gift. It was expensive, ridiculously out of a kid’s price range and an absolutely flawless present that only Tommy could have thought of.

“Both of us...we’ll get out of here together. On this baby.”

Tommy dipped his toes into the fantasy. The urge to dive head first into it drove him to cling harder to Noh. Maybe they could just take off, right there, and now.

No, he decided. They earned a clean break, and this would complicate that.

“Yeah, I’ll be waiting,” he promised, “with all I can carry in my backpack.”

“Fine, I’ll put on pants, and we’ll take this baby for a spin,” Noh embraced Tommy one more time, pressing his head into soft white hair. To think someone would actually go through all the trouble of giving him something so extraordinarily awesome, as well as being more than a gift for him in form of a friend...who was potentially a boyfriend too? He couldn’t put his gratitude and appreciation into words.

*

Tommy had no memory of having a better time than his vacation with Noh-Varr. School officially ended for the older teen, and Tommy didn’t like to think about not having him around in the same class anymore. It was far easier to dive into what the summer provided for them, now that the play and trailing school drama were notches in memory lane.

Riding on the back of Noh’s bike had sent delights through Tommy again and again. He never got enough of them on the open road. The countryside wasn’t so bad when on a beast of a vehicle or in the company of another kind of beast. They hit all the local hot spots they could, yet carved time, which they had plenty of at first, to laze out in open fields or on a sandy shore.

Then, came the sex. Tommy had expected their attraction to creep up when they dragged themselves back into a hotel room after what antics they engaged in that day. He didn’t quite expect it to do so sooner than later. 

Well, it was just sex, and Tommy hoped it didn’t solidify some relationship between them that didn’t yet exist.

It wasn’t until they were headed back, Las Vegas (wow, was that a good time) and the rest of their stops became too distant memories. How a whole summer could almost speed by at the pace of Noh’s bike, Tommy had no clue. He guessed time did fly when one had a good time.

In this case, a good time seemed to equate with being around Noh-Varr.

Tommy found himself mulling over the other boy more and more, detangling, tangling, detangling only to tangle up his thoughts again. He hugged his waist as they rode back into town, awaiting a dreary life that needed another year and a half before Tommy could really set off on Noh’s bike and not come back.

If Noh-Varr was still into him by then. He wasn’t a high schooler anymore, and Tommy didn’t doubt he would mingle with others that could nudge Tommy out of the way.

“Don’t drop me off at my place,” Tommy said over the wind and bike. “Let’s crash at yours first?”

Noh-Varr felt like he was riding straight out of his dreams, returning to the dredge of life they faced as normality and he wished to turn around right now and go right back out there. The time with Tommy was nothing short of amazing, a few weeks that gave him a taste of freedom and a farewell from loneliness. Nothing could have been more perfect than having Tommy to himself and the wind in his hair as his bike purred and roared beneath him. Okay, Tommy did some purring beneath him too, but he’d try not to think of the sex right now, it would only make him moan and complain about the fact it was over now they returned.

“Sure,” he replied, taking the road instead of making a turn for Tommy’s house.

Of course his neighbourhood was quiet and neat, white picket fences lining the road as they pulled into his driveway. His adoptive father must have heard the bike because the door opened and two people stepped onto the porch.

Noh-Varr blinked.

“...Is that your mom?”

Tommy removed his cheek from Noh’s back, propping it on his shoulder to peer over. Yup, that indeed was his mom. That alone did not startle him as much as the way she threaded her fingers with a man that yes, was Noh-Varr’s dad.

“Mom?” he called as the bike rolled to a stop. He clung a little harder, not quite ready to peel away. “What...are you doing here? I was going to come home later.”

She smiled. Really smiled. Tommy had to blink hard to ensure he hadn’t seen something from his delusional mind. And, yeah, that’s her leaning into Noh’s dad, his hand on her low back.

“Welcome back,” was all she said. “Come in. We’ve been waiting for you two.”

Tommy shot Noh a look. “Did I go crazy or...are they holding hands?”

Noh-Varr was frozen on the bike, staring and disbelieving even once the two adults turned to go inside. His dad’s hand was most definitely on her back. Tommy’s mom was smiling and it was maybe creepy as fuck because that was an expression he’d never seen on her face.

“Fuck me sideways, I don’t like where this is going.” 

He kicked out the stand and got off of the bike, entering the house to where the two disgustingly happy parents awaited them.

“Son, it’s good to-”

“I’m not your son,” Noh-Varr snapped, shutting down Jordan’s careful approach.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

Tommy dumped their bags by the kitchen doorway, staring too. Nope, his mom was still there, smiling and with her delicate hand on Jordan’s knee. Fuck, he didn’t like that one bit. Nerves frayed and Tommy repressed the urge to gag.

“I second what he said,” Tommy said.

His mom chuckled, an eerie sound. One summer had flipped her personality around.

“Listen,” she said to them both. “I know things have been strained...among us all. Ever since...Kyle, I told you, Tommy, I was getting help. Well, I was. And well, I was out doing some grocery shopping, you know, getting some healthy choices to change my whole lifestyle...”

She rambled on about what her therapist and doctor relayed to her, and Tommy thought his eyes might bulge out.

“Mom,” he snapped.

“What? Oh, yes. Anyway, so I was out checking out the vegetables and...well, there was Jordan, looking lost. He couldn’t tell a melon from a nut!”

Tommy shook his head. “Wait, wait, what are you saying?”

“We just...started talking and, well, he...asked me to dinner. That was two months ago.”

“You’re...please tell me you’re not dating,” Noh groaned, getting himself a drink of whatever was chilling in the fridge, needing to wash the dirt of the road and the bitter, impending news from his mouth.

Jordan reassured himself with a squeeze of his new lady’s hand before he smiled widely.

“Actually, no, Melinda and I are engaged.”

Noh spewed his drink out all over the kitchen counter.

Jordan looked flustered, but continued. “I know this is very sudden, but it feels so right, we didn’t want to waste another second.”

“You’re WHAT?!” Noh-Varr looked strangely furious.

Tommy’s legs lost their nerve and he actually swayed enough to grip the wall. Engaged? Engaged? Two months and they’re ready to take their hanky-panky to a legal pedestal?

Grasping at words, Tommy wheeled on them.

“What the fuck do you mean engaged?! You date two months and...and...fuck, do you know what that would make Noh and I?”

“Step-brothers, yes,” his mom said, not at all perturbed that step-brothers had been doing more than hanging around each other’s company.

“Are you kidding me? I leave you alone for a summer and you run off with some other guy? How do you know-I mean...what...WHAT?”

“Thomas, stop it. I care about Jordan. He’s...so good to me. He’s a good man. He treats me like a princess. I’ve never had someone care so much for me.”

Tommy swallowed, because he believed her stupidly enough. He might have had shit in his life, but he knew his mom must have grown up with a shittier one. Still, that didn’t mean a marriage would remedy all that. Right?

“I can’t...”

“This is bullshit,” Noh-Varr slammed the glass into the sink so hard it shattered and he was more than ready to break everything in the pantry in a very teenage temper tantrum. He couldn’t believe they’d done all of this whilst Tommy and he were away...well theoretically they must have started dating secretly before he even graduated, but that didn’t sweeten the notion whatsoever.

“You can’t just fucking do this! What if we’re not okay with being stepbrothers? Or did you ever consider that?!”

“But you two get along so well,” Jordan did a good job of playing innocent, Noh was damn sure the man had heard the kind of ‘friendship’ Tommy and his son fostered through the walls, “we thought you’d be happy about this. Melinda’s been through so much and after...Miranda, I just feel like this is a new start for the family.”

“I’m not your goddamn family!” Noh hit the brink of his rage, storming past both adults and Tommy to make for his room, possibly to break more things.

Tommy gaped at the couple, then shook himself out of his stupor to chase after Noh as he trampled over into his room.

“Noh!” he called, grasping his arms once they found a small sanctuary in the familiar room. “Hey, don’t break anything. Jesus, look at me, okay? Calm down. I don’t like this any more than you, but I don’t want you damaging your knuckles.”

He clasped said knuckles as a point and stroked them. “Fuck...I...I can’t wrap my head around it. They’re....fuck.”

“Yeah, they’re fuck.” Noh-Varr breathed heavily, shuddering with rage though he could not for the life of him pinpoint why exactly he was freaking out so much. Was it the fact he was about to be Tommy’s brother? Or just the fact the two adults went behind their backs...or maybe just the thought of those two out of all the people in the world, getting together.

“I can’t believe they’re doing this. I don’t want to be your fucking stepbrother.”

“Stop saying that!” Tommy scowled and stomped to the window, toying with the curtain, anything to keep busy, distracted.

“I don’t give a fuck if they get married, Noh,” he said after a moment, huffing. “We’re getting out of here soon enough. It...doesn’t matter what they do. We’re not their family. Not really. I...care about you, okay? No fucking marriage my mom gets into will change what...you know...”

Noh tensed. This was the topic they’d been avoiding every time in the sheets, this was what the entire vacation had been about to him. With everything they did together, Noh was pretty sure they were incredibly close to being a couple and he knew his feelings towards Tommy had only intensified. He would sweep away this boy in an instant.

“You know what...you’re right. I don’t give a fuck if they get married. We’re getting out of here and it doesn’t change anything about us.”

He stepped forward, enfolding Tommy into his arms. They might have spent the last weeks together, but he’d never tire of his scent.

“Nothing’s changed. You’re my...best friend.”

Tommy sighed and sank into Noh’s arms without conscious thought. Having had time for themselves, no ties, no drama, it had been...nice. Is that what Noh imagined when he dubbed Tommy his boyfriend? Maybe. Tommy couldn’t bring himself to fathom much over it.

“You’re...mine too,” he admitted, turning in his arms. He managed a smile and stroked his biceps. “Guess I’ll keep my phone handy when I’m off with Nate. Let you call me and cry if you hear them having sex next door.”

Noh gave a grunt, already envisioning the nightmares he was about to have and considering investing in a pair of heavy duty ear buds. The last thing he wanted to hear at night was his foster father making Tommy a little brother or sister.

He wrinkled his nose at the mention of Nate. He’d almost pushed that from his mind.

“...You’re gonna leave me alone with all this? You better keep your phone on 24/7, I think I’m gonna be crying non-stop.”

Tommy laughed, shaking his head. 

“You’re a big boy. Yeah, I told him I’d stop by later so I better get going.”

Yet there he stood, studying Noh’s face. What for, he couldn’t say.

“See you in a couple weeks, yeah?” he said, squeezing his arms. “Don’t forget about me.”  
“As if I could,” Noh punched him on the shoulder very lightly, a kind of pathetic display of the illusion of friendship they were trying so hard to keep up. He really wished Tommy wouldn’t go, that he wouldn’t leave him in this mess and go gallivanting off with Nate fucking Richards of all people.

“Try not to let Nate molest you.”

“I’ll wear my chastity belt.”


	14. Chapter 14

Two weeks dragged on where two and a half months flashed by. Maybe it was because Noh-Varr lingered in the back of his mind, creeping at the most inappropriate times. Not that there was nothing to keep him busy. 

In fact, Nate treated him like a king at his parent’s place. The beach was glorious, the jet skis powerful, food impeccable. A perfect vacation. Yet...

Tommy shook off the funny feelings as he took the bus back into town, replaying Nate’s insistent to let him drive him back. 

“Fuck,” he said, scrubbing his face.

The bus rolled to a creaky stop, and he treaded out, knowing where he’d find Noh. He came back a day early, and he knew Noh would be suspicious and elated at the implications. Great.

As he planned, Noh was at his place, outside, in nothing but a thin tank top and jeans as he hunched over his bike. Tommy blinked, staring at the bulk of his muscles, the way his hips popped through--

“Um,” he blurted out. “Hey.”

The time without Tommy dragged on for half an eternity and Noh-Varr found few things could comfort his renewed loneliness. His bike, his baby, his gift from Tommy was one of those things. She didn’t need work, but he kept her immaculate.

He’d been keeping a calendar in the garage, one that marked tomorrow with a big red outline, no words added but the meaning very clear.

And then he heard that voice he’d been missing, even when they talked on the phone. He shot up and whisked around, oil smudges on his shirt and utter delight on his face. A brilliant smile lit up his world and he opened his arms.

“You’re back!”

Tommy might have rolled his eyes at the way Noh’s arms spread, ready to fly. Another day, maybe, when the joy cavorting through him wasn’t distracting him from all those ponderings he’d done on his way back.

Dumping his bag to its fate, Tommy rushed forward until familiar scent, laced with grease, wafted around him as a second layer of embracing. He chuckled at how fierce Noh held him and wondered if he’d ever be let go.

“Hey,” he greeted, squeezing around a firm waist. He leaned back, unaware of the pink dotting his cheeks as they seamlessly met for a kiss. Tommy sighed into it, cupping the side of Noh’s face, allowing the older boy to run how passionate and long it would be.

“Jesus,” he whispered once he got a breather in. “Missed me much?”

He meant to then follow the pattern of inquiries dictated by someone returning after a trip. How are you? What have you been up to? I had a great or miserable time, thanks.

Instead, as he met Noh’s eyes, Tommy’s heart dipped a little lower.

“Listen,” he said, cutting off any questions, further comments. Why he had the urge to say what he was to say, he didn’t know. Hell, he shouldn’t. It wasn’t like they were dating.

“Before you ask why I’m back early, I...well,” Tommy glanced away and dragged a hand through his hair. “Nate and I...kind of got into a fight. We’re not...fighting now. Things are...awkward though. He...erm...kissed me. You know...put the moves on me kind of...thing.”

He could have made the kiss and embrace last forever, but apparently it wasn’t in Tommy’s nature to be patient and enjoy something simple as company and their reunion, because he clearly wanted to talk.

Or confess. Noh-Varr felt a chill race up his spine and he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to know what the rest of Nate’s moves consisted of.

“...And you enjoyed his moves?” he had to wonder just how much Tommy liked Nate, if he let him get away with shit like that. As far as Noh was concerned, he should be the only one laying any moves on the young man, since Tommy was his best friend and also the one person who’d ever gone so far as to say they were falling in love with him.

Tommy groaned and pushed away, scrubbing at his face.

“Look, before you freak out on me, I,” Tommy kicked invisible rocks and wrinkles his nose. How to admit what he’d done. It wasn’t a bad thing, not by Noh’s standards, but its insinuations terrified him more so than anything else.

“I didn’t think. I reacted. I...kind of punched him in the eye.”

Noh-Varr gave a little laugh, one that was entirely self-satisfied and told of his endless approval for punches to Nate’s eye. And here he’d been worried that Tommy was about to tell him the wonders of Richards and being his boyfriend.

“I can’t say I’m real upset about it...but how did he take it? Did he cry? Please tell me you made him cry?”

“God, shut up,” Tommy said, but couldn’t fend off the smirk. “He didn’t cry. He got angry. I got angry back. We had this whole...blow up.”

He flailed at the sky for emphasis and circled the bike, in a constant state of motion that matched his mind’s upheaval.

“Talking about all that stuff I hate talking about. Relationships. I don’t know, Noh. I’m just...I’d make a shit boyfriend to anyone, I told him that. I told him I didn’t feel like I wanted that from him. If we did date, it’d be one-sided. He’d try to woo me and treat me like a king. I don’t really want that though, as stupid as it sounds.”

He growled at nothing but himself and marched a little harder.

“He told me he fucking loved me. Who the hell knows what love is at our age? Seriously. I...I don’t know. I don’t even think adults get it. But it all freaks me out, Noh. To have someone really love you? As great as it is, I think it’s...daunting. You know, having someone that holds all the bad parts of you. It’s so vulnerable. I don’t...do that. I’m tough, you know? I’m...nothing fazes me.”

Noh listened with the patience of a saint, though every word of rejection from Tommy’s mouth regarding Nate made his heart leap out and dance with joy, though he kept that emotion close to the vest. 

He wondered how much time exactly Tommy had spent remembering that Noh-Varr too was in love with him. 

“I don’t want to pile on your misery, but you know, relationships aside, I love you too, especially because you’re so messed up. Earns you bonus points in my books.”

“God, shut the fuck up!” There was no genuine venom behind the words. 

Rolling his eyes, Tommy looked at him. “You’re...God, Noh, how do you know? I mean, what makes you say it so easily.” No, Tommy was not turning shades of pink. “You say that and...I feel like the damn floor went out from under me. Why do you even like me? I’m obnoxious, really stubborn, I repress a lot of shit, I’m bound to explode one day. I know I’m good looking, no shit, and, um,” he cleared his throat, refusing to bring about how Noh seemed to more than enjoy the way he performed in sex.

“And? You know I could add to your list of qualities, but you hate flattery, so I’ll keep it plain. You’re the most important person in the world to me and coincidentally, you’re the only person who is important to me. You’re just gonna have to suck it up and believe me when I say I love you and don’t question me. You’re fucking amazing and yeah, you can be annoying, but you’re so much more than just one incredibly hot guy...I’m gonna stop talking.”

Noh-Varr had taken on an expression that spoke endless tales of his affection for Tommy and his capability for pointing out his better aspects. Which was, apparently, all of them.

Tommy stared at Noh’s face, digging out clues, poking for lies or exaggerations, or maybe signs of a delusional man. When he found none, he groaned and sat on one of the fancy chairs dotting the front of Jordan’s house.

Face buried in one hand, Tommy sighed. “I never had someone fall in love with me, and here I got two totally opposite guys. Should have just had a cock fight,” he muttered. He peered up and blushed. “What the fuck are you staring at? What the fuck are you up to anyway? I start school tomorrow, you know. Where am I going to find an asshole to sit next to in biology?”

Noh-Varr watched him with endless fondness, and maybe just a little mirth because Tommy was definitely leaning towards a decision and he was pretty sure he was winning over Nate. It wasn’t his vacation Tommy ended early to fly back into the other’s arms now, was it?

At the mention of school, he gave a little sigh. He wouldn’t miss the place, but certainly the time spent in Tommy’s company, goofing off in biology, sneaking into bathrooms and supply closets for frantic kisses, that sort of thing.

He knelt in front of the chair, patting Tommy’s knees like a little drum.

“You know, I kinda got a job...just some work at an electronics shop, that sort of thing. But I want to pick you up...from school. It’s cheesy right, but otherwise I don’t get to see you nearly all day.”

Tommy looked at him intently, once again searching for deception. Nothing. “You got a job?” he said, voice elevated. “That’s...wow, that’s really great, Noh. I gotta see you handling customers without looking like you’re constipated.”

He ignored the chills the tap on his knees gave him and leaned back in the seat.

“Well...it sure does beat walking home.” He shrugged, thinking it’d be cool for others to see him mounting the kind of beast for a bike Noh got. “Alright. I...guess that’s fine. But, be honest, is part of you wanting to do that to rub it in Nate’s face?”

“Me? Rubbing salt in his wound? Is that what you think of me?” Noh-Varr was sort of squatting in front of Tommy now, his body leaning forward and arms on Tommy’s knees and thighs with his head propped on top of them. The telltale grin on his face gave away the unabashed joy he felt at his ‘victory’. Tommy may not declare him his boyfriend, but now Nate would never be either. And Noh still had a chance.

“But, uh, speaking of that, you’re not in the mood to punch me in the eye right? Because you know I punch back and I’m not a frail little damsel like Nate.”

Tommy had to laugh at that, imagining them swinging their fists over a stupid altercation. Might do them some good to let out stress that way. Though what kind of stress relief would follow had Tommy acknowledge the way Noh was partially draped in his lap.

“Sorry. I forgot you’re above rubbing salt in wounds,” he said, clearing his throat again. “Um...you know, this is random but...I’m...going to be in the drama class. Theater, actually. We’re doing a musical for the big performance this coming year. I, uh, you know...if you want to ever watch rehearsals since I get out late those days and, maybe...come see the show.”

“You really liked being a fairy king, didn’t you?” Noh whispered, keeping his voice low as if this secret might be the kind of conspiracy that could bring the world to its knees. Maybe it could, Tommy certainly had that effect on him, his entire world spun around this boy. Though Noh was smart enough not to tell him that. Nor was he going to pressure him about the whole boyfriend thing. If Nate was off of the ‘trail’ and no longer competing, then Noh could develop the patience to wait for Tommy’s choice. It was all Tommy’s choice.

“I’d love to. I’ll see if I can make my hours work, and if they don’t, I’ll quit. It’s just occupational therapy working there anyway.”

He might have cuddled his head into Tommy’s lap like an overly affectionate puppy.

Tommy sighed again, dragging his fingers through Noh’s hair. The guy certainly did have the appeal of a puppy once the puppy training kicked in.

“Glad to be back, honestly,” he said, smiling. He glanced over at the bike. Time for a subject change. “What about you finish fiddling with your toy and we rent some movies, grab some pizza, and crash?”

“Sounds like a really fucking great idea,” Noh pressed a kiss to Tommy’s palm and got up before the younger could complain. Tommy was back, and that was all that mattered. Tommy had to be here in order for him to feel complete and that yearning, awning hole in his chest closed up so seamlessly in his presence, it was crazy.

They did spend their night cuddled together, with a bunch of gory horror movies and pizza and touches that went well above and beyond platonic friendship. And neither of them pushed. Noh didn’t press for more and Tommy let him linger close, as if he too needed this.

The rest of summer didn’t amount to much, except for the fact that Jordan and Melinda decided to do a Blitzkrieg wedding, one thoroughly unappreciated by both of their sons who now found themselves labelled as stepbrothers. Which didn’t inhibit their touches at all.

*

Well, another school year, another façade.

Without Noh around the hallways, Tommy portrayed himself far better. Maybe it had to do with the lack of steamy make-out sessions and tension stretching thin when they were on opposite parts of the school. Though Tommy admitted he missed the bleacher dates.

All things considered, not a bad school year. Nate still pestered him, even if Tommy still labeled him a good friend. He didn’t stop trying to woo him, and another life, another time, who knew? Tommy might have went along with it for the sake of trying something new.

He didn’t now, and enjoyed the guy’s company at least enough.

The best moments came in two places. One, in theater class. Two, barreling through classmates to rush into Noh’s arm and onto the back of his bike. He’d gotten plenty of looks and rumors for it; stepbrothers that acted more than stepbrothers did that. Whatever. A small price to deal with, and with Nate to ward off potential threats, no biggie.

Yet they were more than stepbrothers. Tommy knew that. Everyday something shifted in his mind, in his stomach, about Noh-Varr. He hadn’t once brought up the issue of being…together, and that alone warranted suspicions.

“Tommy?”

Tommy glanced up from where he’d been staring off. “Huh?”

“You’re up in a few.”

Tommy nodded and rechecked his costume as Jack. He inhaled deeply, too aware Noh was in the audience.

Fuck, he was jittery. Maybe he should have told Noh to stay home.

Out in the crowd, his stepbrother was eagerly awaiting his appearance. Noh-Varr didn’t pretend to know the piece being performed, actually, he wasn’t even sure of its name, but he knew Tommy was going to be on that stage and that was all that mattered. He loved to watch him act. Tommy had a knack for it and a natural presence that was enigmatic and charming in person, and absolutely dazzling on stage.

Or maybe he was just wearing his Tommy-tinted glasses again, but the boy could do little wrong in Noh’s eyes. They’d had a good year, really. Despite the weirdness of being legally related, their relationship remained at that murky line between best friends and friends with benefits, not at all aided when Tommy and his mother moved into Noh’s house. The boys scarcely spent a second apart when they were home and the newlywed couple gave up trying to instill a brotherly element between them.

Noh-Varr twitched in his seat, knowing Tommy would appear onstage any moment now.

Showtime.

Tommy’s mind did its magic, placing Noh on the backburner as the show took precedence. Acting was one of many skills in his repertoire, and one of few he thoroughly enjoyed. Whatever it was he found appealing didn’t matter when he took center stage and engaged in a persona not his own, and yet somehow still him.

Singing wasn’t something he was particularly fond of, not in public, but for a musical, he sang his heart out. Rather, Jack did--a simple man whose cow would not produce milk. It was a strange musical, Into the Woods, mingling folklore with one another. Incestuous almost, and were Tommy not so dedicated to his role, he might have realized it hit closer to home than he planned.

Yet near the end, his mind faltered. The wolf appeared. Noh-Varr sprang to mind. How exactly would remain a mystery.

Tommy peered out into the crowd, blurred by the strong lights. Made out Noh in the center, near the front.

He stumbled over his line a fraction, saved it by convincing the stutter as being part of his character.

In that fumble, he felt it. Noh-Varr, him, what they were doing. 

He wanted Noh-Varr. To imagine him stripped from his life, to imagine getting married, having kids.

None of it worked without Noh-Varr.

Fuck.

By the time Tommy breached the safety of backstage, he was a mess. Nothing could ebb the flustered feeling, calm the butterflies in his stomach. Just like that, an epiphany struck him, now? Of all times.

And then, the show was over, just as quickly.

And Tommy came back on stage, receiving the applause with the other main three characters. He inhaled sharply, eyes searching. Noh-Varr. There.

Tommy didn’t accept his castmates’ hands.

Stupidly, he reacted, a leap off the stage. Fuck, he never did stick with conforming anyway.

Some awkward navigating and the shouts of his castmates, a few laughing, and Tommy leapt at Noh-Varr, arms and legs wrapping around him tightly.

He’d watched the show with rapt attention...or perhaps, he was watching Jack with rapt attention. Tommy singing and performing was one of those things he could watch for hours, even if he lost the plot a little between Tommy’s throat and shoulders, even when he didn’t listen to the words because Tommy looked as if he might have glanced his way.

That boy on stage, that idiotic, beautiful boy, he made his heart pound. So hard and loudly he thought he’d be stared at in any moment, for disrupting the play with his incessant pounding.

God, he loved him so damn much, it was insane.

The play was over in the blink of an eye, it felt like, and Noh followed the applause that rained down on the main actors. Until Tommy leapt off of the stage. Noh-Varr was standing for the ovation and before he knew it, enveloped in limbs and the star of his life’s show in his arms.

Wordlessly, he held Tommy close, pretty sure there was some reason for the very sudden and very public display of affection, but he didn’t press. He didn’t have to.

Tommy buried his face in Noh’s neck a moment, sucking in his scent. Nevermind he was still in full makeup and costume, and hugging his stepbrother for the entire student body and their families to see.

Screw them. The mantra of a couple of misfits.

Leaning back without releasing Noh, Tommy found his gaze in the opaque setting of the audience. He smirked and realized, yeah, this was the sun of his life, and he’d punch anyone in the face who had anything negative or corny to say about it.

“Love you, I really do,” he whispered, then seized Noh in a kiss so fierce he didn’t feel the spotlight land right on them.

Noh’s hold on him didn’t lessen for an instant and there was no question about Noh-Varr returning the sentiment. His heart was aching and racing in his chest, he didn’t know what those words were supposed to tell him aside from that his place in Tommy’s life was an irrevocable position and now, the world was free to make its call on them, they no longer cared.

The kiss was harsh and sweet and much too hasty and not fast enough. Noh-Varr pulled Tommy closer, not minding the make-up, the sweat, the fluster of his stepbrother’s skin or the strong light pouring them into the center of attention.

All that mattered in the world was pressed against him, playing with his tongue and nipping at his lips. 

“I love you,” he muttered against a heated mouth in a moment of respite as the audience around them came back to life, though most of them looked pretty damn shocked.

Tommy thought the roar came from his blood, and had to survey the area to confirm it was the bulk of the students cheering at the display. Whether for laughs or for support, didn’t matter. Tommy flashed his castmates a grin, people he’d come to dub his friends, with all their fucked up-ery. He’d planned to stay in touch with some of them after graduation.

“Looks like you got into the show,” he said, then kissed him again, earning another cheer. “Come on. Take me home. Fuck the cast party. And fuck me instead.”

“Jesus,” Noh-Varr was reeling with the lingering effect of Tommy’s kiss and the roar of the crowd behind them. He didn’t think anyone would be cheering, let alone supporting this. Actually, it was no one else’s business, but Tommy’s fellow actors seemed entirely enthusiastic and Noh thought he heard a few ‘finally’s and ‘about time’ as he lead Tommy from the hall, followed by cheers and whistles and clapping.

His grip on Tommy’s hand was tight and they barely made it out of the building before he turned, again enfolding his arms around his best friend.

“Just to...clarify? You...this was official, yeah?” 

Tommy waved to those cheering, flipped off a few others for the hell of it. All the while, he clung to Noh’s hand as they walked out, fresh air a stark reminder that this was real. Noh’s hand in his, the feelings, all of it.

He gazed into Noh’s eyes, solidifying his own feelings in the look.

“I’m yours, Noh,” he said, kissing him chastely. “Boyfriends. Lovers. Soulmates. Just names to me. Take your pick.”

“All of them,” Noh-Varr might have broken a few bones in the smaller body with the pressure of his hug, but there was no way to contain his soaring joy. This was an impeccable surprise for his evening and the best one he’d ever gotten. Tommy had finally...after so long, relinquished his indecision, let himself fall into Noh completely, only to be caught and loved with every fiber in Noh’s body and soul.

“Jesus, I thought you...I didn’t...You’re a dick for making me wait this long,” he ended with a rather insulting tone, but he was pretty sure Tommy could take and hell, he deserved it too. God, the only way to make this more perfect was for Nate Richards to see this, but since he’d been at the play, he probably saw their initial limelight kiss. Noh would settle for that, though there was no way he wouldn’t pay a visit to the guide to rub it in.

Tommy offered a kiss as payment for the wait. To admit they had been infatuated with one another from the get-go, maybe even crash-landing in love like the 1% of the 1% of the population, seemed ludicrous still to admit.

“Look, I might fuck this up sometimes,” he warned, “but...yeah, I want to...you know, try the boyfriend thing. We kind of are anyway, I guess. Anyway, ah...let’s stop babbling and how about we get to that fucking thing?”

It wasn’t exactly a sweet confession, it was clumsy, rudely put and just lacked eloquence, but it was 100% Tommy and that was plenty. Tommy had made his choice, and it was Noh-Varr. That was the best possible outcome and hell, it didn’t matter if they fucked up. That was a natural part of being a couple and the way they’d been living together for a year was certainly a plentiful preparation for facing some downs and plenty of ups together.

Noh-Varr didn’t grace him with an answer, but hauled Tommy onto his bike, admiring the view of his two most beloved things in the world, combined into one beautiful picture of a life he never had imagined. To think he could find love, and with that love, freedom, friendship and deep affection?

“You changed my life, you know that?” he was still not on the bike, wanting to hold onto Tommy and look him in the eye as he spoke.

“Seriously, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. Ever. I love you so much it hurts, but I don’t dare stop...I’m gonna...we’re gonna make this work, I’m gonna stick out everything with you, because seriously, it’s ridiculous how much I’m in love with you.”

Tommy had enough makeup to tint his cheeks only pink. Noh’s confession did a fine job of turning his face and neck a deep shade of red though. The guy definitely had a corny, romantic streak. He wouldn’t be surprised if Noh was the kind to work his ass off to set the mood for the proper proposal. 

“Shut up and get over here,” Tommy said, tugging him close. Another kiss, and he bullied Noh on. 

Once his arms settled around a familiar waist and his cheek rested on a warm back, Tommy added, “I love you too, Noh.”

Noh didn’t know if they were driving on the road or somewhere across some ridiculous rainbow, but all that mattered was the grip on his hips and the gentle weight of Tommy against his back. The whispered words had the young man grin like an idiot and he couldn’t get them home fast enough. They were official now, boyfriends with all rights and permits and life was improved at least sevenfold. He was going to fuck Tommy tonight, and spend every remaining day of his life making this boy happy. Sounded like a perfectly strategized future plan. Neither of them would have it any other way.


End file.
